A Different Kind of Preparation

Advent as they say is a time to prepare. It is more than the gifts and the festivities.

I was struck and happy when I saw this ad on the local papers: "Go to church on Christmas. Bring back the "masS" in Christmas." I know it shouldn't just be a one day affair and the emphasis is on the "Christ" but in a society where there are more non-believers, and letting them go back to church even for one day, is a start.

I am happy to say that this year, I am having  a different kind of preparation for Christmas.

When our parish was assigned to a Filipino Parish Priest, I was happy! Very happy! I looked forward to the changes he will be making in our parish. True enough, the changes he made were patterned to the practices we have back in Manila.

Fast forward, I was elated to see that for the first time, we will be having Novena Dawn Masses or "Simbang Gabi" in our parish during the Advent season. I was happy because it will lessen the homesickness but I was up for the challenge. You see, even in Manila,  I am not really a fan of Simbang Gabi, I was trying to complete it so I can have a wish hehehe.  I tried in vain to complete the masses, but was not successful. When I was younger I always ended up sleeping during the homily. When I was much older, I ended up sleeping in, and being too lazy to stand up.

Well, this year, I still cannot complete it as I forgot to set the alarm clock on Monday, the first day, totally forgetting about it! But since the second day, I haven't missed one.

On Tuesday morning, on the way to church, I was praying and asking why am I doing this? Was it to prove something, was it for a special concern? I don't know. I was clueless. But that day God spoke through the homily. Fr. Ruben's homily was all about the reasons for attending the novena masses! The mass ended that day with me still asking myself, what is my reason for waking up at 4am, with only 4-5 hours of sleep, just to attend the mass? The homily that day helped me in finding the answers.

The answers came one day at a time. Everyday, the mass was celebrated by different Filipino priests based in Sydney. Each day, different homilies were given. Different insights, different points for reflection. It was a learning experience. You will feel the grace.

It was also another opportunity for me and Alvin to go to Confession after a looooong (years!) time! We had the opportunity last Thursday night and it felt good. For me, it was something that made my preparation complete.

As Fr. Raning said this morning, we were in a spiritual journey. I couldn't agree more. It was the best way to start my day (for a change, it's not FB or Insta) :-)

I am looking forward to the rest of the dawn masses and praying that it will now become a yearly practice in our parish so my kids can also learn one of the Filipino Christmas traditions. I am also looking forward to Lent and see how we are going to have our spiritual journey.

But for the mean time please let me savor the richness of this experience and share with you God's abundant blessings for the season.

May you and your family have a blessed Christmas and may you put "Christ" back into Christmas :-)

What's Your Stand, (on) iPad?

Writers they say are able to write when they are inspired. I found myself inspired not only because I officially started my summer break but also with the responses I got from the blog entry I posted yesterday.

I wanted to ask this question, what is your stand on the kids' use of the iPads (and all gadgets) at home?

I am asking as a parent.

I find myself a bit torn.

As an educator, I was able to attend a lot of seminars and conferences that have dealt with the (over)exposure of kids to technology. I remember attending one back in Manila that even stated that kids younger than 2 years old should not be exposed to TV or it will have an effect on their development, mostly of which are negative. If cannot be avoided, the maximum time allotted for them is max 1 hour per day. I made a mental note on that.

Fast forward, I have two very young kids now and I was not able to practice that "no TV rule until the age of 2" for the simple reason that I have found the TV as my only "help" at home when hubby is at work. In that span of almost six years I came across a LOT of articles and studies that again remind parents about the negative effects of allowing the kids to use technology at such an early age.

There were a LOT of negative effects mentioned in these articles but the one that stood out because I was slowly seeing it with my kids was this: if exposed to these gadgets, the kids will not be able to learn how to delay their gratification.

When not in school or sometimes when he gets home, Kuya asks me this: "What can I do Mum?" I already know where that is headed. Everytime he says "I'm bored" or asks that question he is in a way asking if he can use the iPad. When I tell him that he can't use it, that is when he goes crazy and cranky!

Sam on the other hand has the tendency not to follow us or totally ignore us when she's glued to the iPad or tablet. She gets into trouble with us because of these gadgets!

The said events and the video I saw on FB about how technology has become a part of everything and everyone and everyday living are the BIG movers on why I felt I needed to slowly change things at home especially when it came to the use of technology.

I am actually getting alarmed.

Old school.

Perhaps.

But I was telling Liam, when I was a kid, I didn't have gadgets or game and watch, or the likes. The nothingness allowed me to develop my creativity. I didn't have the newest toys in the market but I became creative and innovative in creating my own toys or to simply enjoy being a kid -- enjoy playing with friends or read books. I think the gadgets are hindering the creativity among my kids. Parang wala na, hihinto na buhay nila kapag walang gadget na hawak. 

BUT, their environment and the society has changed already. Their generation is different from my generation. At the back of my mind I am worried that if I limit or hinder their exposure to technology, they might end up na mapagiwanan. Let's face it, with their generation, technology is a way of life. Wala ng hindi ginagamitan ng technology. So me hindering them from using and exploring it might also hinder their chances of making them fully equipped and knowledgeable of what is "needed" for their future.

Hay.

What about you?

What is your stand on this?

No Gadget Time

Alvin and I had a quarrel early last week which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Through that no-talk situation, the "no-gadget time" was born.

What is no gadget time?

Kuya Liam was the one who thought of that term.

Our no-gadget time usually happens after we finish off cleaning in the kitchen at night. It is the time when everyone in the family will be in the Masters' bedroom -- with no iPads, no mobiles, no TV, no tablets, no toys for the kids as well. We are there with one another enjoying each other's presence!  There are no specific or planned activities to be done during that time, everything is spontaneous. We sometimes play tackle (wrestling with the kids) or sometimes play pretend or simply ask one another of how our day went. Simpleng kulitan, kilitian, lambingan, konting pikunan but most of the time we laugh our hearts out.

We then read two story books to the kids. Kuya Liam, Papa and Mama take turns in reading a book to the family. When we're done with it, we conclude our no-gadget time by praying the rosary.

I have seen how the kids have appreciated our efforts to put down our mobile phones or turn off the TV during that period of time. It's actually the same with them. We have been doing it for just a week and yet Alvin and I have seen the  effects with our two kids and with ourselves. The kids are happier when they go to sleep and they are happier when they wake up in the morning. It is also much easier now to ask them to limit their use of the gadgets because they have seen me and their Papa do it as well.

Believe me when I say that giving up FB time was hard for me. In the same way that it was hard for Alvin to put down his phone or iPad when he gets home from work. But I think it worked because everyone saw how each one did their share and make this time "sacred time."

The kids do their share by reminding us about it, announcing "It's no-gadget time na!" The kids also call our attention when we try to sneak and take a short peek at our mobile phones! You bet we'll be in trouble with them!

I am hoping that we can sustain this no-gadget time and pray that it will actually create positive effects to our (growing) kids.

I actually wrote this to share it with friends, especially those with growing kids, who might be missing a lot because of the simple fact that we spend more time with our gadgets now than with the people around us, whom we claim, we love.

If you do decide to try it, I guarantee you, you'd be one happier parent! :-)

Unfair

Last week, my Kuya Liam had their school's Recognition day!

He surprised both me and Papa when the award that he got was the Academic Excellence award! There are only five awardees in each class and only one got that award. He got a certificate and a gold medal for that.

Being new to everything we didn't know what to expect. Yes, we knew he'd be presented an award a simple certificate and that's it.  Everything that happened that day was a surprise for all of us.

We were all happy of course!

As a proud parent, I shared a short video and a photo of his medal and certificate on my FB account. Real friends sent their warmest and sincere greetings and we, especially Liam was really happy about it!

I just find it unfair when after saying, "Congratulations, Liam!" may kasunod na, "teacher kasi nanay e!" or "Syempre, teacher nanay!" or"Kina-career kasi ng Mama!"

May iba, hindi na sinasabi pero yun ang iniisip!

Grrrr!

So what if he's a child of a teacher?!

So dapat, lahat ng anak ng teacher sa buong mundo puro honor students na, di ba?!

It just so happens that his mum's work is in the field of education!

I find it unfair for Liam.

He has really worked hard to achieve that.

If you have only seen him give up his "gadget time" or play time, even his afternoon naps so he can finish off a book, do extra activity, or finish his homework. This, in addition to balancing his time and energy as he also has tennis training and swimming!

My son got the award not because I am a teacher, but because he deserved it!

Celebrating My Kids' Individuality

Do you have kids?

As of today, I have two growing kids, one is 3 the other is almost six.

Seeing them slowly grow up and having the privilege of taking care of them myself, I can't help but observe some similarities but a lot of differences.

This morning I was faced with fear and worry as we celebrated Kuya's school achievement. I got a bit scared and worried a bit for my little Sam.

While we were all in high heavens celebrating Kuya's achievements I was trying my best not to let Sam feel jealous or left out. I wanted her to see that she is part of her Kuya's success. I wanted her to celebrate with us. This early on, I wouldn't want them to feel that there is a competition between the two of them for our love and attention. That each of them is receiving our full 100+% of love, time and support. I would not like for Sam to experience the "emotional battles" I had when I was growing up, just as so I can prove myself to my peers and my  parents.

Thankfully, at this stage, I can't sense any competition between the two of them. For me kasi,  I'd rather prevent than cure so I'm making myself informed.

My goodness! To think I only have two kids! How much more those parents who successfully managed to raise more kids!

I guess I'm at the receiving end this time. I suddenly missed my small chats with my veteran mommy friends back home. I miss hearing their stories and learning from them.

I'm now challenged to make sure that both my kids will feel and realise that we are equally happy and proud with their respective achievements regardless on what field they choose.

I will be  working on that and I know it will not be easy!

How about you, how do you cele
brate your children's individuality and cultivate their uniqueness? Tips, please :-)

Best Rewards

Hi Kuya!

I can't wait for you to turn six as I have found myself really inspired to write your second letter for the year, today.

This week has been a great week for you. Wait, let me change that. This year has been a great year for you, don't you think?

This year, you started with Kindy and you have proven how clever you are! You have excelled academically. You brought home a lot of certificates and awards this year as a reward for all your hardwork. This has made me and Papa really proud and thankful. The school year is almost over yet you still surprise us with something almost every week! My heart leaped for joy when you handed our invites yesterday and yes, I am looking forward to attending our very first Presentation Assembly next week.

You have also excelled in sports. Your tennis skills have improved a lot. You can now rally with your coach and your tennis grade continues to improve each term. You have won first place in your Athletic's carnival for the 100m event. You have succeeded in passing your practicals for your swimming lessons and you are due to move up the next level next term.

This year, you have started attending a Music tuition. This morning, after watching you and the rest of the students perform for your year-end Christmas concert cum recital, I was again very happy and proud when they chose you among the seven recipients of the Outstanding Effort award from all the students from K-2. You have proven that you can also excel on that area.

Well rounded? Very much!

This week alone, I have been overwhelmed with that happy feeling because of all these achievements. I feel elated! But like what Papa and Mama always tell you, these awards are just bonuses. It's more important that you have done your best, tried again when you failed, learned from your mistakes and enjoyed yourself.

But you know what son, what makes us prouder are stories about you that proves what kind of a person you are.

Story 1. We attended Mindy and Molly's birthday party and you met a new Tito (sorry Mama forgot his name!). Tito was in-charge of balloon twisting and because you were amazed as to how he can make a lot just by twisting balloons, you decided to stay with him, observe him and share stories with him. When we were about to go home, Tito told Mama that you are such a beautiful kid. "Liam is very polite and well-mannered." Hearing that from a new acquaintance was music to our ears. I was very proud of you son!

Story 2. Mama promised to make it up to you as soon as I'm done with all my teaching blocks. The first day I brought you back to school, a fellow parent comes up to me and introduces herself. She tells me she's the Mum of one of your best mates. She tells me about how her son adores you and how her son has never forgotten your act of kindness. Your mate didn't have a hat so he was not allowed to play in the field during lunch (No Hat, No Play policy of the school!). He just stayed in the silver seats with no one to play with. Then here comes you. You left all your other friends in the field and stayed with your mate so he will have someone to play with! No one asked you to do that, not even your mate!  When I told you the story when we got home, you said, you can't remember it. Well, it proves that you really have a good heart! It may mean nothing for you, but for your friend, it did and he will forever remember it, anak!

These stories are the real rewards, anak. These are the best rewards for me and Papa!


God has given you everything that we have prayed for. It is only our prayer that you continue to grow up with a good heart and use everything that He has given you for His greater glory!

We are proud of you anak!

Keep up the good work!

Papa and Mama (and yes, Sammie too!) are here for you, all the time!

We love you to bits, Bits!

What makes me happier now is that you can now read all the letters I have been writing for you every year :-)

Love,

Mama

A Blessed 2013

Note: I posted this entry on a different title but I realised I forgot to add some so this is the edited version :-)

The year is still not over but I can't help but reflect on how it has been a GREAT year for us!

This year, thankfully, has been a better year (note that last year was a good one too!), and at this point, I really can't complain anymore!

I had to go and check my January 2013 blog to see if all the projects and goals I have set for the year has been met. I can only whisper a prayer of thanks seeing that all of them, and more has been achieved.

Career

This year was a year of good breaks for both me and Alvin. Getting teaching blocks was the farthest thing from my mind, but God has proven that He has great plans for me! Through these teaching blocks, I was able to meet the 180 day requirement needed for my accreditation at NSW IT (and I'm almost done with it! I'm claiming that I'll get to finish it before the year ends!), I was able to establish myself with two of the schools I usually work for and is now part of their "trusted casuals" and more importantly, we were able to bring my in-laws here in Sydney. Not to mention that I was able to contribute to our savings for our first home.

As for Alvin, he was given the right opportunity at the right time. He is still with BAT but was given a permanent post, in a different department. We are more secure knowing that even if (touchwood) the Manufacturing industry based here in Sydney is phased out, Alvin will still find work.

Family

Last year, I wrote that our marriage was better than ever so I really don't know how to describe it now. It's better-er? hehehe Alvin and I have grown individually and as a couple. It wasn't easy but I think we should both give ourselves a little pat on the back for a job well done. Our communication has greatly improved. We have learned to choose our battles. We became more appreciative of each other, more vocal in giving compliments to one another and in settling our differences. We became more in love with one another. We achieved this by praying for one another, supporting one another and more importantly, by His grace. 

It was a good year for me for I have finally come to terms with my differences with my in-laws. A new phase in my life. Although the road to acceptance, forgiveness and healing were not that easy, it was all worth it in the end. 

The kids are doing well too. Kuya started attending the big school and boy did he excel! Sam has grown as well over the year and we can only shake our heads in disbelief that she's already 3 this week! We are thankful that both our kids didn't encounter any problems in reaching their developmental milestones. There was no delay in all areas that could have made me and their Papa worry. More than the milestones, we are happier that they are growing up close with one another, happy and responsible. We are also happy that young as they are, they are slowly picking up the practices of our faith.

Health

Generally, it wasn't a good year for me when it came to my well being. I got sick and the kids got sick too. Nothing major, but it still was a hassle. It was a blessing in disguise as it was an eye opener for us to better take care of ourselves and to invest in our health! Earlier this month, we started to do some healthier practices at home. Hopefully, we will stick with it and it will pay off in the future.

Service
As for our service, there was a time I thought we were not doing enough, but through our weekly HHPMs and their sharing I was again proven wrong. God indeed works in ways we cannot see. I humbly reminded that He is in charge and that we are merely His servants. But we are are not getting complacent. We still want to do more, go farther especially when it comes to service. In His time, I know both me and hubby will be readier and bolder :-) This will probably something we can work on in 2014.

Finances
God has again proven how generous He can be! This year, I felt it's like Christmas everyday! Napagod at nagsawa na ako magshopping! Joke! Because of hubby's new position and my teaching blocks, it was a good year for us financially. We were able to upgrade one of our cars into a bigger car, we were able to have funds for the trip of my in-laws and was able to sustain all the expenses while they were here, that is in addition to our usual expenses and savings. We got more materially. We got a lot of extras. But more than that I am happier to share that through these financial blessings we were able to help more. We realised the value of sharing what you have in a way teaching the value as well to the kids. The thing there is, the more we helped and shared, the more financial blessings that came in. Parang hindi rin kami tumulong, di ba? I guess that is God's way of telling us that we should continue helping. We are mere instruments. We can only be thankful.

Travel

One of the plans that I wrote was the family will hopefully have one major travel locally or internationally for 2013. We didn't fly to another country because the budget was put to a better use, we had to finance the holiday of my in-laws here.  We also didn't fly locally, but we went on a lot of long drives, not to mention our first experience of real snow! Yes, I forgot all about our Snowy adevnture this year!!! Going to the snowy is usually part of the to-do list of Sydney siders :-) In addition, when my in-laws were here, we were out almost every weekend, doing long-drives --Canberra, Central Coast, South Coast. Sa isang lakwatsera na tulad ko, matagal bago ako maumay sa kalalabas, but this year I reached that state. I looked forward to just staying home during weekends! Napagod din ang lola mo. That might not equate to my definition of travel (flying) but if I'm not to be too strict about it, we did travel, a lot! We were able to explore more places around Sydney so I guess, we were able to reach this goal. Hoping 2014 will be a different story hehe plans for our first quarter trip is shaping up weeeee! 

On a serious note, the tragedies that have happened this year all over the world, more so in the Philippines made me look closer on the blessings that He has given us. It pushed me to look into things that I should be thankful for everyday, to look for everyday miracles. To look beyond material things.

I cannot complain anymore because indeed it was a great year. We had what we needed and what we wanted. 

Thank you Lord for 2013.

I can only pray that it will also end great to everyone.

It is in Giving that We Receive

Money has never been an issue with me and hubby except if it involves sending money overseas especially to his parents. I have always embraced this mantra: our family first, our kids first before giving something to family in Manila.

Hubby being the eldest in their family and working abroad that is, feels that he has a responsibility to give assistance to their family back in Manila. All his siblings are all professionals but truth to be told, if we are compare their salary with his salary, of course he is in a better position to help his parents back home. Both my in-laws are long retired from their professions and to their credit, NEVER have they asked any money from us since we have migrated here.

Bringing my in-laws back here would mean that we had to spend for everything, from visa-application to fare to travel insurance. That was fine with me because we can get to save from childcare fees for Sammie when they are here. To make it easy on me I was just thinking that instead of using the money to pay childcare, we just used it for the fare of one of them.

When they got here of course it would mean additional budget for food and an increase in the utility bills -- gas, electricity and water. Not to mention the money we have to spend everytime we go out, we eat or visit places. That was fine with me especially with all the help we have been getting from them. I was not planning in giving them any allowances while they were with us but I guess God really works in ways we don't understand.

Aside from shopping for them and I just found myself telling Alvin that I'd be giving an allowance to Dad and Mum after their first week of stay with us. Yes, I volunteered! Milagro! I sensed Alvin was surprised too! hehehe Anyway, to make the long story short, we gave them allowance every week and I was giving it to them without a heavy heart. I felt good about the whole thing.

When my sister-in-law arrived, again, it was another opportunity to spend. I think I mentioned in my previous blog that with all the travels we have been making I am starting to get worried. I was worried because it was all spending, lahat palabas, konti lang ang papasok. I even told hubby that I wasn't doing any accounting with all our expenses! I was getting worried because my guaranteed teaching days (teaching blocks) were ending. Tapping on our savings was non-negotiable of course.  But in my heart I know that God would provide.

During the last week of my parents-in-law I again felt the Spirit moving me and I again volunteered to prepare a little amount of money for Lolo Dad and Lola Mum. If it was the old Jeana, I'd probably wouldn't even have thought about it since we have already spent a lot for them. But I went with it. Along with our Thank You cards, we gave them that as a send-off present. Not only that, I felt like Santa I even thought of sending money too for his other siblings in Manila! Call it an early Christmas present! I don't know what was wrong with me! hehehehe Bahala na sila Lord. I gave it in good spirit and not with a heavy heart.

I was still worried though. I am only but human. But true enough, God proves that so long as you share, He will take care of the rest! As soon as we gave something be it in church, our chosen NGOs and most especially to our family, something comes back, instantly! Amazing indeed!

Tunay nga, kapag sarado ang kamay mo wala ka ng pwedeng matanggap kesa kung nakabukas ang mga palad mo, mas maraming biyaya ang matatanggap mo!

This whole thing of giving has been a loooong struggle for me. Slowly but surely I can feel that God is working in me, changing my heart, changing my views, changing my ways.  And just when I thought I have fully learned this lesson and fully embraced this mantra, God taps me and tells me I'm not yet 100% okay, that He is not done with me yet. Yes, it's my parents' turn this time. It's their turn to be God's instruments of teaching me to embrace the fact that indeed it is in giving that we receive.

My Second Parents

How's your relationship with your in-laws? Hmmm, sensitive topic? I can't blame you. Time and again we have seen how society tried to show in different ways the love-hate relationship between in-laws. John and Marsha is one classic example, right? 

I was not spared from this too! Growing up, I saw how conflicts can arise between my Grandma and my Papa. When hubby and I got married, as soon as we got back from our honeymoon, we immediately stayed in a rented condo unit. So even if we have been bf-gf for five years before we tied the knot, there was no opportunity for me and my parents-in-law to really bond and get to know each other. (Five years is quite long you say not to know each other, right? Yes, but it is still different is you stay UNDER ONE ROOF everyday!). 

 The first time we really had to live under one roof was three years ago. Alvin and I asked them if they can come over to help us out at home as I was about to give birth to Sam. It was also an opportunity for them to have an out-of-the country trip and visit Australia the first time. My being OC and my being pregnant was a bad combination! To make things worse, we were all first timers! First timers to be together under one roof for six looooooong months!!!! I can only laugh and feel embarrased as I look back. Yes, it wasn't a bed of roses. I was always annoyed and I always had something to say! I got irritated with them so easily with the smallest error or boo boo they make. I got angry when they don't do it my way. Yes, I was a big pain in the neck! Surprisingly, we didn't have any confrontations or big fights. That, I give credit to them. Before they left Sydney, I apologised for being a B**** at times. Honestly, I wasn't proud of myself. Inside, I wanted our relationship to work and not end up like that of my grandma and my Papa. 

Fast forward to 2013. Learning from our previous encounter, we were both ready to be more patient, understanding and loving toward one another. I was also thankful that I had a full-time job because I felt it was an opportunity for me not to focus on the small things they might do that might irritate me. Months before they arrived, I was praying for myself! Yes, I did! Looking back I guess it worked, big time! 

My friend Vera, knowing the history of my in-laws' first visit did ask how I was doing after a few days since arriving in Sydney. I told her I actually didn't know and I think I have mellowed. I was still not sure then since I was out most of the time due to work. After almost three months, I can safely say, I have indeed mellowed. This time around, I saw and got to appreciate my in-laws, big time! Working full time for two months was no big joke! I had to leave early for school and get home a bit late. It would have been a disaster if they were not around while I worked everyday. I had two extra pairs of hands to help me out in my duties at home including taking care of the kids.I am thankful that they were there to listen to my stories about work especially during the times I had to address two major concerns at work. They were my listening ears and my shock absorbers! 

This time around, we bonded. We shared stories. It melted my heart to hear their stories when they were just starting their family. We exchanged our views about different things and we shopped together. This time around, I made sure to focus on the positives than the negatives. Oh, I still get irritated when our personalities and practices clash, but I have decided to choose my battles. In the end I think, it did pay off :-)

 I will not take all the credit...not even half of it. I guess I've been blessed to have very good and down-to-earth in-laws. I now know where hubby got his innate goodness (kabaitan). They are not the type who are "matampuhin" or "madrama" kapag nasungitan mo na. You can be vocal about what you like and what you don't like without them having a grudge on you. Hindi nagtatanim ng sama ng loob. As for my mother-in-law? She knows that there should only be one Queen in each home and she knows that it's me! She is not a demanding mother. She does not try to grab the spotlight or her son away from me or the kids. She knows her place and she proved it through her actions. I know, I should be thankful. 

 This morning when we were praying over them before their flight back to Manila, I can't help but cry. Alvin was even blaming me why he started crying too! Becoming a parent makes you realise a lot of things. Seeing their child pray over them and seeing them enjoy the things their son was able to give them melted my heart. Seeing your offspring successful and contented with his life is I guess the best reward any parent can have. I just can't help but think about my own kids...when they have their own families and kids. I want to be like my parents and my in-laws. I want to enjoy my retirement, I want to enjoy my grandkids, I want to enjoy the labour of love I have put in raising my kids -- not really financially, but the joy, contententment and the respect. I want to feel all of those when I am already old and grey. I can't have that if what I sow in them is hatred or anger to my in-laws. My kids will see, my kids will feel, my kids might think that it's the right thing. I believe in karma. Baka pagnagsungit or binastos ko ang in-laws ko, balang araw baka makatagpo ako ng manugang na gawin din sa akin yun. 

Like in so many other times, I am thankful for the opportunity to realise all of these things. I am thankful for the opportunity to learn from this part of my journey. I am thankful for the opportunity I had to be closer to my in-laws.

 I miss them already! 

 Yes, I have learned to love my in-laws :-)

The Beauty Of Having A "No"

Most often than not, when we pray about something, we always hope (or expect?) that God would give us a "yes." Years ago, I was like that. Looking back at my journey, I can now only smile on the times I had a "No" from God. Now, I am even thankful that He said No to some of my prayers in the past. Time they say will reveal everything and true enough, now I am seeing the wisdom and understanding the reasons why He had to say No.

There were a lot of no's but my biggest ones?

He said no when I told Him let me finish my Dentistry course.

He said no when I asked Him to fix my previous relationship.

He said no when I said I didn't want to finish my Master's degree.

He said no when I said I wanted to defer my Certificate Course on Religious Ed here in Sydney.

He said no when I asked Him I wanted to be a mum straight away after getting married.

He said no when I asked Him I wanted a full time job in Australia.

He said no when I asked Him to give Alvin an engineering job straight away in Australia.

And recently, He said no when I asked Him to have our annual family travel to the US.

Looking back, I now know:

He said no so I can be stronger.

He said no so I can be more faithful.

He said no so I can be a witness to others.

He said no so I can inspire others.

He said no so I can be wiser.

He said no to prepare my path.

He said no to help me with my future.

He said no to show me what great and bigger plans He has in store for me.

It took me years to realise why He said no. He said no so I can have what I have now and appreciate all of it too. 

I know that the waiting part is hard, harder to do than say, but if you just open your eyes and your heart, believe me, in the end it will all be worth it. 

So embrace the no's in your life. They are all part of His plan. They are blessings in disguise.

Fireproofing Our Marriage

It's been crazy busy the past few weeks. Family coming over to have a quick Sydney holiday prompting us to have day long-drives around the State, inter-State and day trips within the City. Tiring and a bit expensive but I'm not complaining, a little worried yes, but happy. Not only were we able to bring our visitors to these places, my family was also able to spend time with one another. At the end of the day, I'm a happier wife and mum.

It's been a while since I last wrote not because I didn't have the time but I didn't have the inspiration to write. Well, now I do.

Last night, during our upper Household Prayer meeting, we watched the movie, Fireproof. Have you watched it? Well, if you haven't, try watching it WITH YOUR SPOUSE.

Here is the official trailer of the movie.

STOP!

Don't read on if you do not want any spoilers. But if you're intrigued, read on :-)

It basically is about a couple who were undergoing rough times in their married life on the verge of divorce when hubby, with help of his Dad, tried to save their marriage. There are a lot of points and quotes from the movie that are worth reflecting not only for one's self but as a couple...one of the reasons why I liked the movie. The group had a quick sharing after the movie but even when we were driving home, Alvin and I can't stop discussing about the movie.

Let me share some of the quotes from the movie:

I tried to Google the movie quotes and  chanced upon one blog that really wrote the quotes. What a great find! I can now go back and reflect on each one at a time :-)

The best lessons for me:

“Fireproof does not mean that a fire will never come. But that when it comes, you’ll be able to withstand it.”

“God made marriage to be for life. That’s why you gotta keep your vows to your spouse. You gotta ask God to teach you how to be a good husband/wife. And don’t just follow your heart, because your heart can be deceived. But you gotta lead your heart.”

" You never leave your partner, especially during a fire."

“When a man is trying to win the heart of a woman, he studies her. He learns her likes, dislikes, habits, and hobbies. But after he wins her heart and marries her, he often stops learning about her. If the amount he studied her before marriage was equal to a high school degree, he should continue to learn about her until he gains a college degree, a master’s degree, and ultimately a doctorate degree. It is a lifelong journey that draws his heart ever close to hers.”

Highlight of the movie was the husband's journey of discoveries and  transformation as he tried to save their marriage. His father gave him a 40-day challenge and lucky me, I chanced upon another blog that listed the 40 day- challenge Caleb had to do to save their marriage.

After finishing the 40-day challenge and his wife discovers about it, she asked what day he's in. When he mentioned it's already Day 43. Wife is confused why he's still in to it, he says: "Who says it should stop at 40 days?"

Yup, we can always do something to improve our marriage, everyday.

True enough, marriage is a never ending learning process. You may be married for a long time now but you will still never run out of opportunities to learn new things together.

So if you and hubby finally decide to watch the movie, prepare the box of tissue!

Enjoy :-)

Financial Harmony

It's Friday and I'm blogging! Hurrah!!!!!

I have so many things to write, there are so many things I want to write but for this entry, I will only be focusing on what hubby and I learnt just last weekend.

For starters, the tension between us has been building up the last two months when it came to my "need" to travel. It's a very long story and it would take ages for me to finish writing about it but to make the long story short, I was starting to get frustrated and annoyed because he just can't seem to understand where I am coming from. I am thankful I was able to let go off some steam when I had a chat with one of my friends, who like me, enjoys travelling. She gave some inputs but listening alone to my rants was more than enough. Among the things we both agreed on was for me to pray about it. And I did.

No, I did not pray that hubby would change his mind and agree with all my crazy plans...but I prayed for myself and for the ill feelings I was starting to have inside me. I and my friend had the chat Saturday, Sunday morning I felt I was ready to submit to what hubby wants provided I tell him all the reasons why I would like to travel. I knew where hubby is coming from especially being that he is the head of the family but I did not understand his reasons. All I wanted was for him to see and accept all my reasons as valid. I wanted him to understand where I am coming from. But I still waited and continued to pray. The answer came the next day. I was surprised to receive the answer that soon! While browsing through my Instagram account, I chanced upon a reflection for couples entitled: Financial Harmony by Gary Chapman.

Boom!

I e-mailed it to hubby.

The following morning while preparing for work, we both discussed about it. Hubby said his piece and I said mine. I guess I was already emotionally prepared  to hear what he had to say unlike the past couple weeks where every time he tries to explain his side what I just heard were interpreted as being negative. Killjoy. Discussing about it was a big relief but the best part of it all? Hubby ended our conversation with: "Okay, let's meet halfway."

Now I have come to terms to holding and waiting for what I want with no ill feelings whatsoever. Even if we will still be travelling I am not pushing the idea unlike before. I haven't started planning and I don't plan to :-) As they say, good things come to those who wait.

Happy weekend everyone!

Finding Something Good

I have been literally been staying on bed the past couple of days. "Inihiga ko talaga" because I have been barking like a mad dog  the past couple of days, coupled with blocked or sometimes runny nose, migraine and a few episodes of fever. Not happy, big time!

Well, I and the kids learned a good song from one of the cartoons we watched a month ago. The line goes "If something bad happens, turn it around, find something good!" That is what precisely what I am doing or what I have been doing to keep me sane.

What are the good that turned up after me getting sick?

I got to catch up on my reading.

I got to do a lot of play based learning I have been planning to do with Kuya Liam and Sam.

I got to have whole body massages from Papa A every night! It did help me get a good night's rest and sleep.

I got to see how my kids love me. Sam giving me a balloon before going to school and Kuya Liam writing a love letter for me.

I got to let go of my oc-ness some more, keeping my eyes closed with the mess at home and the chores at that. What do you know, hubby stepped up and took over! Kaya naman pala eh!

I got to pray and reflect more.

I got to realise a lot of things:

- I am thankful for my in laws. Ours is not a perfect and harmonious relationship everyday of our lives especially with the personality differences but I would like to give them credit because they have been a great help to us especially the past couple of days! I was telling my friend, I might be "dead" by now if  they were not around when I got sick. Not only when I got sick but during the time I started with my five week teaching block. Extra-- My MIL also knows there should only be one Queen in every home, so for that alone, I'm thankful. ;-)

-The gift of today. Yes, I am the type who loves to plan things ahead of time. But hey, I should slow down now and enjoy what the present has to present. The class I was handling taught me the real meaning of one day at a time. 

- I cannot go work full time again. With the pressure and stress that went with me taking over one class for five weeks was a big wake up call! Nope, in this kind of set-up, the many little things that needs to be done everyday, taking my time from my kids? No. I got to appreciate my being a casual more when I can easily turn down an offer over a more important family matter. I don't plan to miss out on special school events of my kids! Just let me get over with my accreditation and I'm all set to slow down. Three days a week is good for me. If there are teaching blocks, the longest I can take is two weeks. More than that? No.

 -Health is wealth. I think I need not expand on that.

Do you find yourself in a bad situation? Turn it around, find something good, you might be surprised of what you'll discover.

My Heart Bleeds

First, it's my first week of doing a temporary full time job and I'm glad I survived my first week. It was crazy! Tons of books to be marked, skipping meals, and bringing home work from school. Early to school, late to go home. It was impossible for me to really do iG and fb. Not at home as I try to help out on chores and catch up with the kids...and definitely not at work. Instead of catching up on fb I feel like writing and later, reading.

I'm happy my Kuya opens up to me. So I try my very best not to betray the trust he has given me. He's been sick for two days now and the past couple of days, naglalambing na. Why daw papa and me have dates, sammie and me have dates, but me and him have no dates....
Hmmmm .....remember the Mcdo commercial? I do! So tomorrow, I've set the day for a mama-kuya date. He is very excited! He kept on asking where we'll go :-)

But, over dinner, he also told me the story of one of his friends putting him into trouble. This kid supposedly gets Kuya's arms from behind slaps someone then goes to the teacher on duty, tells a lie that Liam hit someone. Teacher on duty calls Liam, reprimands him. Liam says the kid who actually did it is lying but teacher does not believe Liam :-(

I am worried and sad. I feel bad :-(

This incident was the last straw for that kid. I gave him lots of chances even if Liam kept on telling stories of him lying, saying rude words and a little bullying. I have no other choice but to ask Liam not to play and consider that silly kid a friend anymore. Of course, I had to process my decision to kuya, that friends, real friends, do not let and  put their friends into trouble, especially by lying.

I hope when Kuya goes back to school next week, he'll follow me, even if I'm not there. I'll hope that kid respects Liam when Liam avoids him.

As a mum my heart is bleeding. I am worried. I thought I've already toughened up my heart for things like these... but I guess I need to toughen it some more...all I can do is have faith that my son will be guided how to handle this silly kid. I think the kid senses, mabait si Liam.

Indeed, it's a crazy world out there!

The Last Week Off

Like what I mentioned in my previous blog, things have been really busy at work. Last week, I didn't plan to work the whole week but ended up teaching the same class from Monday to Friday. Not that I'm complaining but having no helpers around made things at home a little crazier and messier at that!

The weekend passed through really quickly. Didn't get the chance to catch up with house work since our weekend social calendar was also jam packed. With the arrival of my in-laws, the kids' swimming classes, visit to hubby's relatives and of course, our service.

I told Alvin I'm taking the whole week off since starting next week I don't know how  my life is going to be.

I needed this week off to catch up on housework.

I needed this week off to do errands for the family and friends.

I needed this week off to prepare the house and my in-laws for the next 7 weeks.

I needed this week to prepare myself in all aspects for the Herculean task I will be having at work starting Monday.

I needed this week off to spend time with my children.

The last reason takes the chunk of all the reasons why I said no to casual work/calls I received this week.

It was one of the best decisions I made because I can see that my kids were also happy with my decision.

Liam was probably happier because I had the chance to spend an entire morning during their Open Day at school. The priceless smile and hugs he gave me was more than enough to tell me he appreciates me for being there. He just doesn't know it but I was happier and prouder especially after seeing all the schoolwork he has been doing at school and after hearing all the good words his teacher has for him :-)

Obviously I was able to finish all my backlog because I was finally able to sit and write again, thanks to the help of my in-laws.... I plan to spend the next two days (weekends are fully booked again) just relaxing and reading my two books.

Everything Fell Into Place

Last week, my journey's focus was on prayer.

During the staff prayer session, the daily readings and up until the Gospel last Sunday, it all focused on prayer. The struggles to pray, how to pray, what to pray for.

God is really a generous God.

I realized through my reflections that yes, I have asked and I received. I sought and I found it.

To make the long story short, one of the my biggest prayer concerns was answered. Everything fell into place.

I am just humbled and amazed.

Thankful and grateful.

In Full Bloom

This is how I can describe the status of my career at present.

Another unexpected blessing came my way this afternoon. I accidentally cancelled the call because I was busy browsing my mobile. It was an unregistered number but I still decided to ring back as a courtesy to the caller.

To make the long conversation short I was given another opportunity to handle a class for two and a half weeks! I'll blog more on this later.

But aside from these opportunities, the comments and praises I have been receiving are just heart warming and inspiring.

Teachers who have planned absences actually request for me to handle their class! There was even one teacher who had an unplanned absence but still mentioned to the coordinator that she requested for me. Di ba nakakataba ng puso? I must be doing something right, right?

It is in times like these that I am affirmed that I chose to respond to the right vocation. That yes, I may not still be very well versed with the conversational language as an everyday thing, but inside the classroom I know I'm good. I know I'm good at what I do. I know that I teach well because of the talents and skills He has equipped me with. I know that this indeed is my calling. True enough, when you love what you do, it will reflect on the quality of your work.

I can only be thankful and grateful.

Tidbits on Parenting :-)

Yogies has a new way of informing us parents of the activities our kid/s did while under their care. They now e-mail it to us aside from the usual report posted on their board at school. Because of this, I get to read it ahead of time, even before I pick up Sam. I usually use their school activities as one of our points of conversation at night.

Yesterday, while giving her a bath, I told her that I saw that they learnt about the number 7 in school and that they chose a colour to paint their own number 7. This was how our conversation went:

Mama: I saw you had number seven today. Did you paint it?

Sam: Yes.

Mama: What colour did you choose?

Sam: Orange.

Mama: So, orange was your number?

Sam: (no break or pause) Orange is not a number!

Mama: (surprised but happy) Why, what is orange?

Sam: It's a colour! Funny Mama!

The other day, after she went to the toilet, I assisted her in putting on her panties:

Mama: O, come here na, put your leg here.

Sam: Yes, your majesty! (bowing to me before putting her leg on one of the holes)

I was just surprised because I think it was the first time I heard her use "majesty" on her own and in a correct context that it.

Truly, as soon as the kids hit 2, there's no stopping them from learning and using a lot of words! 

Last Monday, I attended a Staff Development Day in one of the schools I work for and we discussed about the different special learning needs/difficulties of students/kids. It was another opportunity for me to revisit my previous learnings being a Special Education major and to also update myself of the recent developments in the field. I am just thankful because admittedly, all these information I get are put to use not only inside my classroom but at home as well. I've been getting a lot of helpful tips and approaches waaaay back, and it did seem to work! :-) I shared the highlights of my day to hubby as he was eating dinner (isn't it awesome I get to share this kind of things with hubby?!) and I can't help but tell him that as I was listening to the speaker that day, I can't help but  be thankful that my kids are doing okay, especially after discussing the cases we had earlier that day. Fine, if before, I wanted my kids to be identified as "gifted" (yeah, right!) I am now VERY THANKFUL of what they have. Yes, they might not be super duper bright, but they're okay-- no special cases mentally even emotionally. They are coping, they are learning and they are enjoying. No red flags whatsoever. For that alone, I am very thankful.

Speaking of tips, I just wanted to share about one tip I heard (or was it read?) before...it's about kids being "stuck." Kids usually cry when they don't get what they want or we start losing it when we want them to do something and they don't follow us straight away. It now becomes a battle. The reason why they don't want to follow is not really because they want to test our patience or just wants to be stubborn. They are actually "stuck" on what they are doing and are not yet ready to move on to the next activity. We usually expect too much from our kids.If as adults, we can quickly change our focus and move on to the next activity, kids, especially toddlers are quite different. Sam is quite different from her Kuya in the sense that if she's doing something you cannot just interrupt her. Before, I used to get mad at her. Yes, big drama! But after reading this very helpful article, I tried it on her, and what do you know? It worked! It worked wonders. Example, we already need to leave the house and she is still busy playing in her room, I will tell her we need to go, she doesn't move or listen to me. Then I will tell her I'll give her 5 minutes and yes after that five minutes, she stands up by herself and is all set to go. The same thing happened when we're in the shops and she's playing with those kiddie rides. There was one occasion when I had to use the timer of my mobile because she really loved the Sesame St. ride. But still, no dramas. So when I see hubby being the one in-charge of Sammie and is slowly starting to lose it, I take over and give my Sam a time to get "unstucked." 

***

Liam brought home a note yesterday from his school about their forthcoming excursion. He is one very excited boy. Can't help but tell him the story when I was in elementary that there were times (a lot actually) when I was't able to join the excursion because we didn't have money to pay for it. I'd stay at home when almost all my classmates went on a field trip. As if it's not enough. everyone is expected to talk about it the following day, well, leaving me clueless. I remember in fifth grade, they went to Science Centrum. The following day, the teacher gave a quiz about the trip, without even considering people like me who were not able to join the trip :( I got of course a very low score on that quiz. Bagsak. And it wasn't good because I was running for honours. Anyway, I told Liam, Papa and I still need to discuss it because we need to see if we have money to pay for his excursion. Oh that look on his face! He's afraid of missing out the chance to ride on the bus and learning and being "independent" if ever we decide not to let him join. Of course, I was just testing him hehehe. But I just wanted to let him realize how lucky he is because we can now afford to let him join excursions like this.  

***

During our recent trip to Canberra/Snowy we chanced upon Australian National University and shared to Liam that it's one of the best universities in Australia and that we hope he and his sister gets to be accepted there when they go to Uni. We told them that Papa and Mama went into one of the best Uni schools in the Philippines -- one of the reasons why we have good jobs and we have a good life now. Liam was listening and trying to digest everything when Alvin suddenly told me:

Alvin: But Mama, when they go there, it means that they have to stay there while studying. They'll leave our home.

Me: Papa, isn't that our responsibility? We have to be ready for that day. We should ensure that our kids will have a good future, right? So if it means we have to let go of them, then by all means. We cannot just stop them from working for a good (or better) life in the future, right?

Alvin just kept quiet because we both know, I have a point. That time will come when both our kids will be ready to spread their wings and we cannot do anything about it, but just support them. Tough love...tough love indeed.

***

"They're growing up too fast, don't blink."

Snippets 2013

On the homestretch of our winter school holiday and getting myself ready for August.

***

Alvin has been sick for three days now. Eye infection :( Since Tuesday he has been working from home. Funny, before I always wanted him to work from home if he had the chance, well, it's not as easy as I thought it would. We had to practically be quiet the whole day because he had meetings lined up every day! It was hard because the kids are at home. It's the school holidays! Good thing yesterday and today Sam was on childcare so that's one major noise maker off the list. And I thought working from home can actually allow me to have more free time because he can help me with the house chores? Uhm, No. Work from home to the strictest level. No naps, only coffee break!

***

Hubby is actually getting worried because technically, this is just his third week at his new position. He is still in the probationary period and knowing him he'd move heaven and earth just as so he can report for work already. But, doctors haven't given him the clearance yet. I can sense that he is worried big time because he is unusually talkative the past three days now. I told him, I'm the worrier, not him. Can't believe I'd also tell him that maybe God wants him to stay put. Especially after he mentioned that their big project will already start next week. I told him that probably is  the reason. Maybe God wants you to spend more time with the kids because by next week, you'd be more than busy. I had to assure him as well that God is in control of everything.

***

I've started wrapping our Christmas pressies. OA? Well, that's just me :-) I don't like stressing myself by cramming. I'm thinking I might be busy come Christmas time, writing and finishing my accreditation requirements. So do it while I'm still not that very busy hehehe

***

Happy that we've already bought the kids' birthday and Christmas presents too :) I am so tempted to wrap them already but controlling myself. Liam might outsmart me and see that Santa's wrapper is the same as Mama's wrapper. I'd go buy a new wrapper for their gifts next week when both of them are back to school.

***

My parents are arriving next week! Yay! We can get to save on childcare which costs us $91 a day for Sammie. And they get to spend time again with their grandchildren. I'm just happy that with all their sacrifices and hardwork, both of them are now enjoying the fruits of their labour.

***

In two weeks' time my in-laws will be arriving too. I'm not sure how the next three months will go but I'm just  thankful that I'd be pretty busy not to be able to focus on the negatives, if you know what I mean. ;-P Will just focus on the positive things their visit here will bring for the kids, me and alvin too :)

***

Walang basagan ng trip...but  sometimes can't help but smile with the "selfies" and "throwback thursday" pictures flooding the social media...well, I'm also guilty at times, but hindi pa naman ako addict sa sarili ko...but i'm guilty with posting pics of food and almost everything that I buy hehehe Sensya na if at times you also feel "nauumay"...but I actually love that word, c/0 my friend Mitch, kasi pag Thursday nauumay ako sa dami ng TBT pictures!!!! hehehe :-) I'm guilty today because I posted my first TBT picture on insta...di pa kaya ng powers ko sa FB hehehe

***

We are now officially Aussies! We had our oath taking ceremony end of June :) Just thankful and grateful for the opportunities OZ has given our family. Oz has been good and continues to be good to us. Nothing really changed except now we should already vote come election and we get to have Aus passports already. I'm more excited with the passport privilege because it will make travelling to countries on my bucket list a lot easier (no need for us to apply for a visa)...pamasahe na lang kulang! hahaha

***

Speaking of which, Alvin and I visited our major projects for the year and made some changes. Most of them have been ticked off already but there are some major projects that needs to wait a bit ;-)

I was soooo eager to fly again...I want to fly again and travel even if super stressed it gives me a certain high being able to go to another place with my family...I come home happy and recharged....

Anyway, going back, I was so tempted to book in flights for my family, looking and researching the past couple of weeks...choice between NZ and Japan (ayan Mitch kasi ikaw hahahaha)...was thinking to fly during Sammie's birthday and since there were so many flight sales being offered around that time. But as usual, my hubby, who is not into travelling (more of the buying a house na tsk tsk tsk) told me not to think about travelling in the next six months. Mas hindi ko nakulit when his eye got infected and he had no choice but not to go to work. Six months? His probationary period is for six months. Baka maudlot pa daw. Oo nga naman, I'm already planning to spend on money na wala pa naman. I was just thinking to use my salary for the teaching block and my tax refund for that trip...anyway, we can just use my salary to pay off the balance of the car loan we had (we chose to have our car loan paid in one year)... Okay, point taken. But I'm not giving up so easily. After his sixth month and everything goes well I'll push thru with one major trip for the family! Kung ayaw niya kami ng mga anak ko aalis hahaha I was teasing him about it last night. I had a chat with his cousin and after the chat I told him what I and his cousin talked about and about my plan of when to travel...mukhang lumambot naman hehehe especially when I told him that what we spent last year to go home for his sister's wedding (and only staying there for 10 days!) e halos the same amount naman na (mas mahal ng a few hundred dollars) ng gagastusin namin if we push thru with that trip...i feel konting pangungulit na lang okay na :)

But I'm not keeping my hopes up. I'm hoping for the best, expecting for the worst. The chat caused me to be too excited that I wasn't able to sleep properly last night. I'd just continue to research about our destination while waiting and continue to have an open mind and  heart. Six months is quite long and anything can happen. Like I was telling BRO during our conversation last night, if He wills it, then go...I know that all will fall into place if He really wills it. Kung hindi matuloy then I know God has better and grander plans for us :)

For now, I'd just focus and enjoy our Snowy adventure! :)

Liam 5 .5

Kuya!!!!!

My dear Kuya! 2013 is half-way thru and it only means that you're now five and a half years old! I plan to continue writing letters to you and your sister every year. I am more excited knowing that you can already read a lot of words with ease and you can easily read now my letter for you.

Happy ka na no? You're too excited to turn six years old because you're excited to start losing your teeth-- your baby teeth, not for any other reason, but because you're eagerly awaiting what the Tooth Fairy will be giving you. How much the Tooth Fairy will be giving you!

Well, before you turn six years old, allow me again to write to you the highlights of the year as I remember them. I might miss some again, but hopefully I don't miss out on the big ones.

Early this year, we went to my friend's house with your Lolo and Lola. Unfortunately, their child who cannot still speak well was so "violent" when you guys played together. Nakita ko at ng mga Lolo at Lola mo, kung pano ka nagpigil kahit sinapok sapok ka na at sinakal nung batang kalaro mo. Ilang beses ka binatukan pero di mo siya pinatulan. Nagpigil din kami ni Papa. When I talked to you about it in the car, you told me: "Yes, I was about to cry Mama but I stopped myself. He is younger than me." You gained my respect that night, anak. I was very proud of you. Yes, he is the same age as your sister, but technically you are still a kid too, and you could've easily hurt him, grabbed the toys he grabbed from you or cried or tell him in to his parents every time he hit you. But you didn't. You totally controlled yourself. Bravo, anak!

This year, you started attending the big school and boy, did you like it! No, make that, LOVE it! You brought home your first Blue Award on the second day of school! Earned 15 Blue Awards for the first  two terms and earned an Assistant Principal's Award after one semester. You really do continue to make me and your Papa really proud. Your initial reading level is at Level 10 whereas most of my Kindy students can't even read Level 2 books! You were one of the students chosen by your teacher to read the longest parts during the Kindy assembly when your class was the host! Galing galing ng stage presence! And I saw how you tried to overcome reading and pronouncing the difficult words like "cooperative" until you mastered and perfected it. Good habits anak, keep it up!

You love to write and you eagerly share your story especially on Monday afternoons after you have written your Recount in school. Now on school holidays, I saw how interested you are in writing. Hindi na pwede i-claim ng Papa mo yang area na yan! Yung Math, fine sa kanya na, pero ang writing? Sa akin na yun! hehehe Keep it up anak. Continue to improve yourself on the things that you love to do.

Yes, initially we had little arguments as we tried to establish your study habits -- doing homework, etc. -- but by and by you got the hang of it. Now, you can pace yourself well, not doing a lot on day one and not being too relaxed too.

But I think I still need to follow up your skills in packing up your things especially after doing your homework. ;-)

There was one major event that happened early this year when I saw how high your EQ was. I was called at work to fetch you from school because you were ill. I was in a dilemma because it was my first day back at work after all the cancellations I made the week before. To make the long story short, when I arrived to finally pick you up, I was expecting you'd cry as soon as you see me or that you'd be panicking already after the long wait you did...but no. You were composed. You had grace under pressure. Ako pa nga yung na tense and naiyak. Ikaw pa yung concerned if I was okay to think ikaw yung may sakit. I wish I had the same anak.

You have become more independent and I am now assured wala akong magiging problema when your sister starts big school. Kasi ngayon pa lang, kaya mo na alagaan sarili mo e.

At home, you and your sister have your episodes, aso't pusa moments, but when you've had a good afternoon nap or night's rest, you willingly give way and spoil your sister. Yung requests and whims ng kapatid mo, pinagbibigyan mo. Pag bati kayo ng kapatid mo ang saya-saya namin ng Papa mo kasi grabe yung level ng kulitan niyo ni Sammie e! Wrestling, habulan, hay!

May mga cheeky moments ka rin. Like one time I caught you making faces and trying to imitate me while I was lecturing you about something! Lokong bata! Pero natawa kami ng Papa mo. Anak, please be patient with Mama and Papa when we lecture you and re-instill values we want you to grow up with. Mahaba-haba pa ang lalakbayin natin. You're only 5 years old!

Papa and I observed that for a time you were getting addicted to the gadgets at home. There was one incident when Papa told you during one of your silly moments that you MIGHT not be allowed to use the tablet or iPad anymore, we were surprised when you actually followed it and reminded me about it when we got home and I told you to use the iPad first so you won't be bored anymore. Your exact words: "Mama, Papa said I can't use the tablet or iPad." When I told the story to your Papa, pati siya nagulat kasi he was just using it para "umayos" ka...not really serious about it. But well, because of that you proved that we can trust you. Now, even after Papa and I decided that no gadgets, iPads or Xbox from Sunday night up until Thursday night, you have no BIG issues about it. Well, sometimes you do, but when we explain things, you follow kahit labag sa kalooban mo hehehe :) Anyway, sometimes you get exemptions especially after you did good in school or at home. :-)

Lunch orders were part of your prize for getting Blue Awards but one time, after you brought home one Blue Award after the other, I joked about having no money anymore for your lunch order. You know what your reply was? "Mama, it's okay. I won't have lunch order anymore." Syempre, natameme na naman ako. Na-guilty tuloy ako. Instead of buying my lunch at school I decided to just prepare my lunch at home. Kung ikaw nga nagtitipid, e di ako din.

Your personality is still evolving. Ngayon, ayaw mo na ako halikan sa harap ng mga schoolmates mo huhuhu dami mo ng tanong...you have the tendency to compare yourself or our family with others...it's something that we will be working on...it's something we will be praying for. Remember what I always tell you, you don't have to do or you don't have to have what other people do or what other people have. God will give you what you need and what is best for you. Speaking of which, around March or April of this year, you learned how to pray the Rosary. I am happy anak. When Ben was blessed by Fr. Ruben, he was surprised when he heard you recite the prayers with ease. Another new fan! :-)

When my left eye got injured, you were so concerned. You always reminded your sister that I was not well and willingly did errands one of which was being my guide everytime I moved around the house especially when I go up or down the stairs.

I hope that as you grow older and even if you see other kids doing things that your Papa and I do not permit you to do, you'd stick with our rules. I hope that you'll continue to mature in a responsible and good way. I hope too that you'd not grow up so fast! Don't wish to grow up and get old quickly, enjoy your childhood anak.

I know that we've told you a lot of times how lucky you are for having to enjoy a lot of things that your Papa and I only got to enjoy when we were working already! Kaya, appreciate everything that you have now anak.

Hopefully, as you get older, we can instill in you the value of hardwork, love for work,  giving your best and never giving up especially now na mas marami ka ng naiintindihan :-)

Thank you anak for being you.

Till my next love letter.

I love you Kuya!

Love,
Mama

A Friendly Reminder

"Maybe God wants you to stay put."

This was the message I got through my friend Mitch at the time I was stressing myself with the series of unfortunate events that happened the past couple of weeks at home.

When she told me this, it made me stop and reflect. She does have a point. I have been running like a headless chicken the past couple of months, being pre-occupied with work, my accreditation requirements and of course, my duties and responsibilities at home. I know that I can multi-task, but yes, I was pushing myself to my limits.

Baka ako rin naman, sinasabihan na ni Lord, "Time first muna, Jeana."

Well, this message was affirmed when I attended a staff prayer session early Wednesday morning. The reading chosen was taken from Mark 6:30-34. The passage that really struck me was: "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest."

I had goosebumps that morning and became misty-eyed.

Just three years of casual work and yet so much have changed. Before, if I get ONE call in two weeks or once a week, I already feel like it's a miracle. When more opportunities came, I was happy with 3 calls, making sure that my Mondays and Tuesdays remained sacred for Liam and Sam. Now, I feel like I'm not working as a casual anymore because there are weeks when I am working for five days straight! It's like already working full-time!

My time with the kids did get affected, especially Sam. And since I tried to catch up with every opportunity I had, it became physically exhausting for me. If before I found my work as my "relaxing time" well, not anymore, especially if the class I handled for that day is just physically and mentally draining.
Tired from work and tired at home.

I was asking myself what made me accept and accept when before I could easily turn down a call without second thoughts? It's my accreditation. I was trying to meet the 180 days of work requirement so I can already start writing my reports and hopefully submit all the requirements by the end of the school year.

Right now I feel, naagapan. I remember back in college, during my last sem, I was in the same state -- pushing myself too hard until my body gave up. I just collapsed one day and got sick for four days. Right now, I'm feeling a bit under the weather as I strained my voice too much yesterday and the cold (very) weather here is not helping as well. So even if I have a million and one pending house chores over the weekend, I'm stopping and just taking it easy. One day at a time. One chore at a time...because if I don't baka maulit or baka mas malala na ang mangyari and with two kids depending on me, bawal ako magkasakit.

I think God used my kids and my eye as my wake-up call because He knows it will definitely get my attention. Well, it did :)

I'm still worried about my 180 days requirement because I want my accreditation done and over with. But come to think of it, God started to roll the ball and He was the one who made me realize: start fixing you accreditation. So WHY worry now? He is in control. He will take care of everything. Wag daw ako apurado.

Back to basics. Back to my real priorities.

Thanks Mitch for that friendly reminder, you have been an angel in disguise :)

P.S. Mitch is the wife of hubby's fraternity brod. I can't exactly remember the first time we met...binyag ba ni Zach? hehehe We didn't get a lot of opportunities to nurture a "normal" friendship as we only get to see one another on special occasions like weddings and baptisms. It didn't help that my family already migrated here. But despite the distance we kept each other in the loop through FB, blogs, pms and now Instagram. Readings her blogs and through our exchange of emails allowed me to get to know her better.  I feel, if we met each other early on, we will definitely the best of friends by now! No kidding! We share a lot of common interests -- reading, blogging, travelling.... I feel we share the same qualities -- organized, OC-OC, among others. Baka kung nasa Manila ako, nagkakape na kami every week! hehe :) I'm not sure if we are of the same age, but if we are, then she is one of the very few friends that I have whose maturity and wisdom I admire a lot :) And I can only wish for our friendship to blossom and be blessed over the next couple of years despite the distance!

The Search is Over: Take 3!

Another major project ticked off the list for 2013 :)

Finding that 7-seater car for our family was not as easy as we thought :)

Here is the story of our adventure.

Early this year, we knew we will be having visitors coming over so we knew we needed to change one of our cars to a bigger car, to accommodate our guests everytime we need to tour them around. Yes, we will all fit into two cars, but I was too lazy to bring and drive the other car hehe

We initially thought of buying a second-hand car. Toyota Avensis was the number one choice only because it's not too big and we have had a good experience with it being the first car of my brother here. But when hubby started looking around, he chanced upon this news article saying Kia will be releasing a new people-mover car (not a SUV) that was quite similar to Avensis. It's the Kia Rondo (Kia Carens in UK and in the Philippines). Based on the pricing when it was released in other countries, hubby was telling me to wait for it to be released in Australia just as so we can see if it will be worth our hard-earned money. Sabi niya nga kasi, if there will just be a small difference in the price of the second hand Avensis (Toyota) and that of the new Kia Rondo, e why not go for the brand new na, right?

Initial reports said it will come out April. But April flew by quickly, wala. While waiting, family were kind of convincing us to look for another brand, as they are afraid of the reliability of the Kia Brand. We seriously considered it, thus, we thought of having a Nissan Dualis + 2. Alvin again researched, BIG TIME, about the Dualis + 2, name it, reviews, manual, etc. But I think I mentioned in my previous blog that when we checked the car the sales agent immediately told us that the third row seats were not designed for adults. It was very specific, kids ages 7-14 years old or anyone not heavier than 45kg. If you use the car beyond those specifications and you get into an accident, you can my sued. So, no.

So we were back to Kia Rondo. By this time, it has been released in the UK and based on the reviews, Alvin was getting more excited to get it. But when May came and there were no clear signs as to when it will be released here in Sydney, we started shopping again.

This time, we shifted our focus on the Mitsubishi Outlander. Alvin saw a great deal, an unused 2013 Demo Car from the dealer, 8k cheaper from the RRP of $40k (base model). Hubby again did his homework, he researched, downloaded and read a lot of stuff. Two Saturdays ago he passed by a Mitsubishi dealer and already enquired. But by this time Kia Rondo has been launched already. The problem was there were no available demo units yet so we can't actually see and check the car. Hubby was also surprised with the pricing. The base model alone costs $30k! Between Kia and Mitsubishi, di ba sa Mitsubishi ka na?

So we pursued the Outlander. We went there Saturday, there was an actual unit available, Alvin tried to sit on the third row, straight away. Kwenk. His knees folded was almost to the level of his chest. Not really a very comfy position esp when you do long drives, right?

Hay. We saw a Holden Captiva, ok, even if hubby is not okay with it, we checked it na rin: same and it was even narrower on the third row. Toyota Kluger: same :( My impression of these cars/SUVs e pinilit na mag seven seater :( So ano na? Alvin was trying to recall kung gaoon ba  kami kasikip when we rode my Kuya's Avensis. Luckily, there was a Toyota nearby that had a used Avensis which was also for sale, for us to check it. Kasi kung masikip din e di we'll go for the Outlander na, right?

Hmmm, the third row of the Avensis had full adult seats. Very comfortable even on long drives. But, hubby is not yet ready to raise the white flag. He called Kia to check if may demo unit na, ayun, meron na! So from Blacktown we drove to Penrith...excited si hubby...the car was sooo pogi! Kaya pala mahal, but wait let's see the third row first --- fail!!!! :(

So ano na?

The dealer of the Outlander was very kind, he was suggesting if we are seating adults on the third row either we get the bigger car like Tarago or the more expensive ones na. E, mg mini-coach na lang kaya kami? Pwede ko pa ipang-service! Hahaha

Kidding aside, the family had a discussion. Yes, everyone had a say while having our afternoon tea at Maccas and checking all the cars. We went back to the reasons why we want a bigger car. We cannot compromise the budget. Over than $32k is no na for us, especially for me.

So to make the long story short, we went back to Avensis, kahit for hubby, namamahalan siya sa re-sale prices of the second hand Avensis that he sees online. Back to square one. Hanap ulit and we saw one 2009 Silver Avensis for sale in a Toyota dealer. Low kms for $22k. The dealer was 40 minutes away  from our place. Saturday night, hubby was saying next week na daw namin balikan. Hihintayin pa rin muna daw niya quote ng Kia. (Ako in my mind: Wait? Pakiulit?! Kia ulit? And I thought we already decided to go back to Avensis?!) I just kept quiet.

Sunday morning, I told hubby for us to check the car na. Kala ko magagalit kasi baka isipin nagaapura na naman ako bumili. But I explained to him to check the car, if he doesn't like it, then we'll not get it. If he does, then he can give a DP na and work on the finances over the week so by next week we can already get the car. One week of delay can spell a big difference, right? Lalo no bank na on Saturdays. Since he had that option not to get the car if he doesn't like it, he agreed. Before leaving for church, he already checked the car's history. One owner, logbook, clean record. No write -off etc. So on that area, check!

We plan to go after our 9am mass. Before going to church, I silently prayed, "Lord, let us know naman what to get. Kung ano na ba gagawin namin."  I don't know how I'll get the answer but I know I'll understand it when it comes. Like the colour of my rosary when we got our first car, Maggie. Magkakulay sila ni Maggie. On our way to church on our last turn, the first car that I saw was a white Toyota Avensis. Okay. Clear as the sky! But I didn't tell Alvin about it.

After the mass, hubby wanted to call the dealer first to check if the car is there. Para nga naman di sayang ang biyahe. After confirming that it was still available, it was then that I told Alvin about the white Avensis I saw. Siya rin pala he saw it but like me he didn't tell it to me. I guess it was what we needed to see. (Only to find out nung pauwi na kami after buying the car, we saw two DIFFERENT white Avensis. He said he didn't see the one coming from the church, what he saw daw was the one parked near our complex!) O di ba?

So yesterday, we went there. Check check...Usap usap.... tanong tanong, test drive, but we had the go signal from Bro, right? so there! Search finally over.

On our way home we were still discussing about this whole adventure. I told hubby na ako, I wanted a brand new one, pogi and ganda points sana di ba? But we were directed on a different path. May basbas naman Niya...we might not know the reason yet why He wanted us to get the second-hand Avensis, but in due time I know we will :) Baka daw sa bahay na lang na bibilhin gamitin ang pera kesa sa kotse hehehe :)

Like what I told my friend, I'm also happy because the car is not too big for me to drive (not too intimidating as compared if we pushed thru with the Outlander or another SUV) and we didn't have to spend too much. If we opted to maximize our budget baka our travelling projects will be put on hold hehehe, kaya, yehey! :)

Overall I found this experience very enriching...nakakainis na paminsan minsan especially if paikot ikot ang dating ng discussions, but I found it enriching as it allowed us to practice decision making skills for one big project or undertaking as a family :) Lahat kami magkakasama sa bawat dealer na pinuntahan at kinausap. Lahat kami may say, especially Kuya :)

We'll be welcoming Ben (or Ven?) next week :)

Sorry, haba pero thanks for reading hehe

This is how he will look like, minus the bars on top :)

picture c/o nrma.com.au

How Sammie Loves Her Kuya

My two kids have a typical sibling relationship.

They fight.

They argue.

They fight for the same toy, same gadget.

They sometimes think we are favoring one over the other.

They complain about each other.

They tell in on each other.

BUT, on their unguarded moments, we are assured that they love one another.

On this blog, I will focus on how Sam shows her love for her big brother, Liam.

THE KISS.

You should see her cry and tell in on her Kuya, when she asks for a kiss from him, and he declines! Hahaha As in i-wre-wrestling niya ang Kuya niya, para lang ma-kiss niya si Liam. Pag nagpumiglas kuya niya, iiyak at magsusumbong sa amin ng Papa niya.

At school, when Liam does not want to kiss her, she tells me she's sad because "Tuya, didn't kiss me."

When Liam tries to trick her and just kisses her on the forehead or cheeks, Sam is still not happy. Magsusumbong pa rin.

THE FOOD.

Everytime we have something new, she'd reserve one piece for her Kuya.

One time, I gave her 3 pieces of Pringles just before picking up Liam from school. She ate two. I asked her why she wasn't eating the last piece. She said she was going to give it to her Kuya. Well, it took a long time for the bell to ring, and she probably got hungry, so she ended up eating it as well (bagsak sa marshmallow test!)...Oh well, at least the thought was there hehehe

THE LIBRARY

Whenever we have our dates at the Library, the first thing she does is look at what DVD she can borrow for her Kuya. Ben 10, Transformers or Avengers. As soon as she gets hold of it, she gives it to me and tells me, it's for her Kuya. She also borrows books for him. This morning, on our way home, she just asked me, "Mama, did we put Kuya's DVD or book in the bag?" I said yes. I was the one who checked out all the items. This was the reply that I got: "Oh okay. I thought you forgot. We have to go back to the library or Kuya will be sad."

THE MUSIC

Whether we are in the car or shops or even at home, when she hears the songs Liam usually sings being played on the radio, she stops and tells me "Mama, listen, it's Kuya's favourite!"

RANDOM MOMENTS

When Kuya is sick. When she sees him crying. She doesn't think twice of cuddling her Kuya or hagudin ng maayos ang likod.

I won't deny -- I'm happy when I see these things happen right before my very eyes.

Kapag makulit silang dalawa at away ng away, sinasabihan ko ibibigay ko na sila sa different families. Ayun, bati agad.

I know that we still have a long way to go, their relationship as siblings will still have a long way to go, but for now, I think that everything is on the right track :)

Time First, Time Out!

The last two weeks have been really bad for us, health wise. 

Yes, I was just asking Winter to be good to us, but no, I think she didn't have second thoughts of having us feel her arrival!

Strike One: Sam got the bug early last week. I had to ask permission to work on half day Monday, even if I didn't feel comfortable about it. Hey, my work is relieving someone who is away, so you understand why I can't be away. Anyway, her fever subsided but still had to stay home Wednesday because her tummy was still upset. In effect, I had to cancel my advanced booking for Wednesday.

Strike Two: I got an eye injury. Wednesday afternoon Sam accidentally injured my left eye, leaving me with no choice but to cancel my booking again on Thursday and Friday. It was impossible for me to work. First, the eye patch hindered me from doing my usual activities like driving. Second, the doctor told me so. Third, I was so nauseous, it reminded me why I don't want to get pregnant again! Kidding aside, it was painful and it was hard (especially for a person like me who is always on the go). In effect, we were not able to do much during the long weekend.

Strike Three: Liam got the bug as well. He showed signs as early as Saturday, but it was only yesterday when he actually felt it. Talk about bad timing. I know I wasn't giving the school a good impression when I kept on cancelling my bookings, but what can I do? Yesterday, I was called in AT WORK, 30 minutes before dismissal to collect my son. I knew I had to drop everything and leave because it was what everyone was expecting me to do. But yesterday was a big dilemma for me. With all the cancellations I made last week, I didn't have the guts to ask permission if I can do undertime again because of an emergency. I asked and pleaded to my son's school if they can keep him just until I finish my work. Initially,  they agreed, but after fifteen minutes, the phone came ringing again. Imagine the torture I had to deal with yesterday. After the second call, I knew I had to face it full on, gather all my guts and ask permission again :(

Bonus: When I came to collect Liam, I was treated coldly by the school secretary. Even if she didn't utter a word, she made me feel like I'm a bad mum. That smirk on her face was just, arrrgh. Worse, before they released Liam to me, I had to endure being "lectured" by the school principal about having to organise people who can collect my son in cases like what happened yesterday AND about not having to let my son wait for a long time. I tried to explain where I was coming from -- the dilemma I had --but I was cut and the words that were uttered after that, were for me, a bit rude.

So yesterday was just horrible. Yes, I felt horrible emotionally. I felt so weak, physically. I actually haven't fully recovered from my eye injury as my head still had throbbing pains while I was at work, but I had to make a sacrifice just as so I will not jeopardise my work. I didn't lose it especially after the last straw: I had to again ring the school to cancel work, to inform them that my son is not able to go to school today and I need to stay with him.

Depressing, right?

I just had to laugh it off last night. Let go, let God.

Where was hubby, you ask? He was there all throughout, giving me the emotional support that I needed. He was my shock absorber. Siya inaway ko at sinungitan ko, big time. But he let me. He took it calmly and was ready to listen to my long story and rants. Knowing him, if only his office was much nearer and he hasn't just started with the new position, I'm pretty sure, he'd be the first one to volunteer on other days, just to give me a break. Oh well. Thankful he chose his battle hehehe ;)

Sending  a LONG EMAIL to the school principal informing them that I was disappointed as to how the case was handled and receiving a phone call this morning giving an apology made things a lot better.

Liam is on the road to recovery (pwera USOG!) and hopefully, this is the last straw of unfortunate events as home.

Lord, time first muna. Please?

Witnessing

This was what I just posted on my FB status:

"Blessing, after blessing, after blessing. It has been 3 weeks now since Alvin and I responded to the challenge of our Parish Priest to pray the rosary, DAILY, as a family. It was hard for both me and Alvin because admittedly, we are both LAZY when it comes to praying the rosary. But true enough, like what Fr. Ruben said, the week doesn't end without us receiving a blessing. I'm not talking about the small stuff here, but the big stuff. And today, we received the biggest answer to a petition we have been asking for more than 4 years already! Thank you, Lord! Bringing back all the glory to You. P.S. Thank you Mama Mary for the BIG help."

I already mentioned in my previous blog that we started praying the rosary every Sunday after we made it as one of our action plans during our Marriage Enrichment Retreat. But now, we have managed to pray it everyday! I'm just thankful that Sammie and Liam are both cooperative and are trying their very best to be quiet every time we have the prayer at night. I am actually proud of Liam because he is the one reminding us about family prayer time every night and he is willing to skip some shows or parts of his favorite shows for us to be able to pray.

Blessings? accreditation matters (big developments!), more work for me (which are scheduled ahead of time...I've actually turned down a couple of calls in the morning because it will be impossible for me to make it on time...and I just can't wake up the kids from their sleep), approved 3 year multiple entry visa for my in-laws and the means to finance their travel, a big opportunity opened for Alvin at work to shift his field from Manufacturing to planning (office-based) and now.....drum roll....a permanent job for Alvin! hurrah! :)

Just thankful and grateful. :)

A Greater Power

The last two weeks have been an emotional roller coaster ride for my family, especially the ones who are based in Manila.

I will not elaborate here but to make the long story short, it is one of the recent episodes of our family's telenovela (Which family does not have one?). Old wounds were opened. Madaming salita at banta na binitiwan na naman. Accusations were made. Service and our being christians were questioned. Hurt, mad and sad. Those are exactly the three words that can fully describe what probably my family, especially my parents felt when all these chaos were happening.

I was mad. I was mad at them. Ang sa akin lang, kami nga na 5 anak ng mga magulang namin never minura, binantaan or bingiyan ng malaking sakit ng ulo sila Papa at Mama, sila pa? We can counter each and every accusation they made at our family. We have a thousand and one proofs. We can engage in a word war with all of them. We can even think and wish bad things to happen to all of them. We can resort to being self-righteous. But no. We took everything...in silence.

All throughout those two weeks, we were in constant communication with our family in Manila. And in all of the exchange of emails to my parents, the only thing we kept on reminding each other especially my parents, hurting as they may seem, is to pray. Pray for them. Pray for ourselves. Pray for the situation.

I kept on reflecting the past couple of days on what His message is for us. The readings everyday really helped a lot. Like what I said earlier, we can fight, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth...but we chose not to. I personally had to stop myself from thinking and wishing bad things to happen for them. If I catch myself slowly doing that I stop myself and pray. This I have to say: IT IS NOT EASY. I am but a human being. But by and by I'm getting the hang of it...only because of His grace. I realised that we survived, I survived those tempting times not by my own will and definitely NOT by my own doing...but by the grace of Someone greater. Someone more powerful. I needed that. It was only through that Greater Power that allowed me to convert my negative thoughts to more positive ones. To continue hoping for good things to happen.

I will not admit that I have forgotten everything that have just happened nor have I totally forgiven them. Malalim na ang sugat. I am still working on that. When all these dramas started I wished and hoped that something good will come out of this. I haven't fully realised it yet but I am still optimistic that soon, God will reveal all the answers to our "why's?" to my "why's?"

My family is still praying that in time there will be total healing and forgiveness in everyone involved. At this point it seems impossible. But who knows? With God nothing is impossible. After all, after everything that has been said and done, we are just living under His grace...may His will be done.