No BIG Secret

How do you react when people praise you for the kind of parenting you do for your kids?

Humbled. Speechless. Thankful. Inspired.

I am no perfect mum. I only have 7 years of experience under my belt and I only have 2 kids to raise so I'm actually shocked to get compliments. I don't consider myself an expert in this area that is why I am grateful to receive compliments from people when they verbalize their admiration on the way I am raising my kids. Some people say I inspire them while others even say that when the time comes they'll have kids, they will actually ask pointers from me. Whoah!

So I'm taking this time to sit and reflect on what made me "successful" for the last seven years. I'll share some of the things that came to my mind.

1. I'm a LEARNER. I think one of the things I was blessed with are "older" friends who have also unselfishly given advice and tips on how they were raising their children. Friends who do not fear sharing the mistakes they made in their journey so young parents like me can learn. I look for inspiring fellow parents who have done and are doing a great job in parenting. My stand that I am always in the Learning Side has done wonders for me. The openness to learn from other people, and from my own mistakes have definitely guided me. My stand that I can always learn from other people and that I am not an expert have helped tremendously! This is why I am also very inspired to share my learnings. Let's just say it's my way of paying it forward. 

2. I READ. Parenting as they say does not come with a handbook so when expert advice are available to make this gigantic task easy and bearable, why not try them? I am not only talking about the new studies to make our kids smarter, more successful, how to support them, how to be like this and like that. I am also talking about their holistic development, their faith included. But having said that, I don't take in everything. I screen and see what will be best for our family. 

3. I WORK WITH A GREAT PARTNER. I am not taking all the credit here. Our kids will not be what they are now if my husband was not with me all throughout.  I take my hats off to Alvin because he has definitely tried his best to be as involved in raising our kids. May it be playing with the kids even when he's dead tired, making it on-time for dinner, teaching the kids, etc. Our "team" usually works where I do the readings I share it with Alvin and we discuss how we can adapt the "style" to our family. We stand as one when dealing with the kids. We don't put one in the "bad spot" so the kids will not end up favoring one parent over the other. 

4. I DON'T EXPECT. I've read some articles or letters of other mums voicing their frustration over their kids who are not "performing" or "achieving." It made me think. Why am I not frustrated with my kids? Don't get me wrong. My kids ARE NOT PERFECT. We don't see them as one. The secret is we don't expect them to be one.  Our kids fight, they whine, they whinge, they complain,  they disobey us sometimes, they get angry, they fight us, they sometimes answer us back. They sometimes drive us to our wits end but why is it that we don't get frustrated with all of these? Alvin and I tried to answer this and the only thing we could think of is we accept them, wholly. Their strengths AND EVEN THEIR WEAKNESSES. We don't have pre-conceived expectations which in turn don't give us any disappointments if ever they do not reach "the bar." We celebrate their achievements, yes, because for us, it's a bonus. We celebrate their uniqueness. We celebrate them. We look and be joyful at what's on our plate and not focus on the others' plates. 

 5. I PRAY. I guess this is no big secret and I think most parents do this. But, yes, that's it, I (we pray) and this takes up the biggest chunk of all the things we've been doing. Everything is anchored in Him! We pray not only for our kids, their concerns, their relationships, their future, their hearts. But we also pray for ourselves, we pray for our imperfections and weaknesses as parents. We pray for strength and guidance. We pray as we raise our children be who God wants them to be. We pray for our relationships with them and them as siblings to one another. If we are just to follow every parenting tip we have read, we'll already probably go nuts! Some contradict the others. So what to do? Pray. Pray for guidance, pray for strength, pray for wisdom. Parenting is no easy task. It's a full-time job in itself. It's physically, mentally, emotionally and financially draining so if we are to rely on our own "wisdom" and strength, we might have thrown out the towel ages ago. But our Lord continues to sustain us.

That's it! What I have written above is totally not something new. I'm pretty sure you've read more or you know more but at this point, I'm just happy to share it :-) I'm also sure marami pa akong kakaining bigas! 

Thank you for reading it :-)

Family Traditions

I am inspired to write more family-themed blog entries because a few days ago I got a text message from a friend and told me how she enjoys reading my entries, "so much thought and depth put into each post/blog."

I was actually surprised because I didn't know she was taking the time to read my blog entries! She is one very busy mum! It was a humbling experience. Admittedly, there was a time in my blogging life when I felt I lost focus. Instead of focusing on what really pushed me to have a blog in the first place, my entries focused on some of the not-so-important ones :-) The shallow ones. I'm happy I survived that stage and I'm back on track.

Now to my real entry -- family traditions. Over Christmas break, I chanced upon an article that tells parents that the best time to start introducing family traditions are when the children are still young. It posed a question at the end of the article asking the reader what family traditions do you want to impart to your kids? It made me think and reflect.

Ano nga ba ang mga tradisyon na gusto kong kalakihan ng mga anak ko?

The following are a result of my quite moments:

Christmas

- Christmas eve mass is non-negotiable

- Christmas eve and Christmas day family should  be complete

- Christmas eve dinner, family should be complete
- Mass for the Feast of the Holy Family, the family should be complete

New Year

- bless the home, every nook and corner with Holy Water at the stroke of midnight (this was passed on by my own Mum)

- always start the year right by attending the Jan 1 mass as a family
- reading of "Thank you Jar" notes for the previous year as we have our Thanksgiving prayer during New Year's Eve

Birthdays

- family should be complete in the celebration

- celebrant should always have Mass in thanksgiving for another year

- birthday cake
- birthday photo and hand print for every year

Easter/Holy Week

- annual family trip

- Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Sunday are non-negotiable. Family has to be complete to attend church services regardless where we are

I don't know how to group these, but:

- always bless from the elderly and priests

- use "po" and "opo" when addressing the elderly kababayans here

- praying the rosary as a family everyday (I'm proud and happy that Liam is now okay with praying the rosary and Sam now knows Our Father)

- morning prayers as a family

- going to church on Sundays is non-negotiable

- teaching of "Angel of God" to kids as their first prayer
- grace before meals
- praying over before major trips, major events (like job interviews, exams) or when someone is sick
- there should only be ONE TV at home! no TV inside bedrooms

I realized most of the things I listed above are practices of the faith. I agree with our parish priest when he said that the parents are instrumental in letting the future generation understand and do the practices of the faith so I guess you can't really blame me :-)

I might have missed some so I'll be updating this list from time to time.

Aside from the religious family traditions, we want to have:

- regular mum-son, dad-daughter, mum-daughter, dad-son bonding and dates
- family portraits every year
- one major family outreach to the less fortunate

I'm also compiling a group of projects, which I hope I get to do while the kids are growing up. I'm not expecting them to do the same, but if they continue with the practice, then I guess these projects will now be a part of family tradition :-)
Here are some of the projects I want to do:
- school portfolio of their best works in school with their school photo
- balloon birthday photo (kids holding balloons, the number of balloons depend on their age)
- hand print key chain every birthday
- letters every year they will open when they grow up

I actually have a long list of projects, I'll be making a separate blog as soon as I start doing them. But for now, I'll be doing baby steps.

To date, we have started doing most of the religious family traditions. Hopefully when both kids are much older we can fully explain to them why we are doing such practices. For now, we are happy that they are being exposed to such practices.

As for my personal projects, I have started doing the letters and I'm happy that I have been consistent with it for the last two years! :-)

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that we will be able to establish all of these family traditions.

What about you, what family traditions do you want to impart to your kids?

What's Your Stand, (on) iPad?

Writers they say are able to write when they are inspired. I found myself inspired not only because I officially started my summer break but also with the responses I got from the blog entry I posted yesterday.

I wanted to ask this question, what is your stand on the kids' use of the iPads (and all gadgets) at home?

I am asking as a parent.

I find myself a bit torn.

As an educator, I was able to attend a lot of seminars and conferences that have dealt with the (over)exposure of kids to technology. I remember attending one back in Manila that even stated that kids younger than 2 years old should not be exposed to TV or it will have an effect on their development, mostly of which are negative. If cannot be avoided, the maximum time allotted for them is max 1 hour per day. I made a mental note on that.

Fast forward, I have two very young kids now and I was not able to practice that "no TV rule until the age of 2" for the simple reason that I have found the TV as my only "help" at home when hubby is at work. In that span of almost six years I came across a LOT of articles and studies that again remind parents about the negative effects of allowing the kids to use technology at such an early age.

There were a LOT of negative effects mentioned in these articles but the one that stood out because I was slowly seeing it with my kids was this: if exposed to these gadgets, the kids will not be able to learn how to delay their gratification.

When not in school or sometimes when he gets home, Kuya asks me this: "What can I do Mum?" I already know where that is headed. Everytime he says "I'm bored" or asks that question he is in a way asking if he can use the iPad. When I tell him that he can't use it, that is when he goes crazy and cranky!

Sam on the other hand has the tendency not to follow us or totally ignore us when she's glued to the iPad or tablet. She gets into trouble with us because of these gadgets!

The said events and the video I saw on FB about how technology has become a part of everything and everyone and everyday living are the BIG movers on why I felt I needed to slowly change things at home especially when it came to the use of technology.

I am actually getting alarmed.

Old school.

Perhaps.

But I was telling Liam, when I was a kid, I didn't have gadgets or game and watch, or the likes. The nothingness allowed me to develop my creativity. I didn't have the newest toys in the market but I became creative and innovative in creating my own toys or to simply enjoy being a kid -- enjoy playing with friends or read books. I think the gadgets are hindering the creativity among my kids. Parang wala na, hihinto na buhay nila kapag walang gadget na hawak. 

BUT, their environment and the society has changed already. Their generation is different from my generation. At the back of my mind I am worried that if I limit or hinder their exposure to technology, they might end up na mapagiwanan. Let's face it, with their generation, technology is a way of life. Wala ng hindi ginagamitan ng technology. So me hindering them from using and exploring it might also hinder their chances of making them fully equipped and knowledgeable of what is "needed" for their future.

Hay.

What about you?

What is your stand on this?

No Gadget Time

Alvin and I had a quarrel early last week which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Through that no-talk situation, the "no-gadget time" was born.

What is no gadget time?

Kuya Liam was the one who thought of that term.

Our no-gadget time usually happens after we finish off cleaning in the kitchen at night. It is the time when everyone in the family will be in the Masters' bedroom -- with no iPads, no mobiles, no TV, no tablets, no toys for the kids as well. We are there with one another enjoying each other's presence!  There are no specific or planned activities to be done during that time, everything is spontaneous. We sometimes play tackle (wrestling with the kids) or sometimes play pretend or simply ask one another of how our day went. Simpleng kulitan, kilitian, lambingan, konting pikunan but most of the time we laugh our hearts out.

We then read two story books to the kids. Kuya Liam, Papa and Mama take turns in reading a book to the family. When we're done with it, we conclude our no-gadget time by praying the rosary.

I have seen how the kids have appreciated our efforts to put down our mobile phones or turn off the TV during that period of time. It's actually the same with them. We have been doing it for just a week and yet Alvin and I have seen the  effects with our two kids and with ourselves. The kids are happier when they go to sleep and they are happier when they wake up in the morning. It is also much easier now to ask them to limit their use of the gadgets because they have seen me and their Papa do it as well.

Believe me when I say that giving up FB time was hard for me. In the same way that it was hard for Alvin to put down his phone or iPad when he gets home from work. But I think it worked because everyone saw how each one did their share and make this time "sacred time."

The kids do their share by reminding us about it, announcing "It's no-gadget time na!" The kids also call our attention when we try to sneak and take a short peek at our mobile phones! You bet we'll be in trouble with them!

I am hoping that we can sustain this no-gadget time and pray that it will actually create positive effects to our (growing) kids.

I actually wrote this to share it with friends, especially those with growing kids, who might be missing a lot because of the simple fact that we spend more time with our gadgets now than with the people around us, whom we claim, we love.

If you do decide to try it, I guarantee you, you'd be one happier parent! :-)

Unfair

Last week, my Kuya Liam had their school's Recognition day!

He surprised both me and Papa when the award that he got was the Academic Excellence award! There are only five awardees in each class and only one got that award. He got a certificate and a gold medal for that.

Being new to everything we didn't know what to expect. Yes, we knew he'd be presented an award a simple certificate and that's it.  Everything that happened that day was a surprise for all of us.

We were all happy of course!

As a proud parent, I shared a short video and a photo of his medal and certificate on my FB account. Real friends sent their warmest and sincere greetings and we, especially Liam was really happy about it!

I just find it unfair when after saying, "Congratulations, Liam!" may kasunod na, "teacher kasi nanay e!" or "Syempre, teacher nanay!" or"Kina-career kasi ng Mama!"

May iba, hindi na sinasabi pero yun ang iniisip!

Grrrr!

So what if he's a child of a teacher?!

So dapat, lahat ng anak ng teacher sa buong mundo puro honor students na, di ba?!

It just so happens that his mum's work is in the field of education!

I find it unfair for Liam.

He has really worked hard to achieve that.

If you have only seen him give up his "gadget time" or play time, even his afternoon naps so he can finish off a book, do extra activity, or finish his homework. This, in addition to balancing his time and energy as he also has tennis training and swimming!

My son got the award not because I am a teacher, but because he deserved it!

Celebrating My Kids' Individuality

Do you have kids?

As of today, I have two growing kids, one is 3 the other is almost six.

Seeing them slowly grow up and having the privilege of taking care of them myself, I can't help but observe some similarities but a lot of differences.

This morning I was faced with fear and worry as we celebrated Kuya's school achievement. I got a bit scared and worried a bit for my little Sam.

While we were all in high heavens celebrating Kuya's achievements I was trying my best not to let Sam feel jealous or left out. I wanted her to see that she is part of her Kuya's success. I wanted her to celebrate with us. This early on, I wouldn't want them to feel that there is a competition between the two of them for our love and attention. That each of them is receiving our full 100+% of love, time and support. I would not like for Sam to experience the "emotional battles" I had when I was growing up, just as so I can prove myself to my peers and my  parents.

Thankfully, at this stage, I can't sense any competition between the two of them. For me kasi,  I'd rather prevent than cure so I'm making myself informed.

My goodness! To think I only have two kids! How much more those parents who successfully managed to raise more kids!

I guess I'm at the receiving end this time. I suddenly missed my small chats with my veteran mommy friends back home. I miss hearing their stories and learning from them.

I'm now challenged to make sure that both my kids will feel and realise that we are equally happy and proud with their respective achievements regardless on what field they choose.

I will be  working on that and I know it will not be easy!

How about you, how do you cele
brate your children's individuality and cultivate their uniqueness? Tips, please :-)

Best Rewards

Hi Kuya!

I can't wait for you to turn six as I have found myself really inspired to write your second letter for the year, today.

This week has been a great week for you. Wait, let me change that. This year has been a great year for you, don't you think?

This year, you started with Kindy and you have proven how clever you are! You have excelled academically. You brought home a lot of certificates and awards this year as a reward for all your hardwork. This has made me and Papa really proud and thankful. The school year is almost over yet you still surprise us with something almost every week! My heart leaped for joy when you handed our invites yesterday and yes, I am looking forward to attending our very first Presentation Assembly next week.

You have also excelled in sports. Your tennis skills have improved a lot. You can now rally with your coach and your tennis grade continues to improve each term. You have won first place in your Athletic's carnival for the 100m event. You have succeeded in passing your practicals for your swimming lessons and you are due to move up the next level next term.

This year, you have started attending a Music tuition. This morning, after watching you and the rest of the students perform for your year-end Christmas concert cum recital, I was again very happy and proud when they chose you among the seven recipients of the Outstanding Effort award from all the students from K-2. You have proven that you can also excel on that area.

Well rounded? Very much!

This week alone, I have been overwhelmed with that happy feeling because of all these achievements. I feel elated! But like what Papa and Mama always tell you, these awards are just bonuses. It's more important that you have done your best, tried again when you failed, learned from your mistakes and enjoyed yourself.

But you know what son, what makes us prouder are stories about you that proves what kind of a person you are.

Story 1. We attended Mindy and Molly's birthday party and you met a new Tito (sorry Mama forgot his name!). Tito was in-charge of balloon twisting and because you were amazed as to how he can make a lot just by twisting balloons, you decided to stay with him, observe him and share stories with him. When we were about to go home, Tito told Mama that you are such a beautiful kid. "Liam is very polite and well-mannered." Hearing that from a new acquaintance was music to our ears. I was very proud of you son!

Story 2. Mama promised to make it up to you as soon as I'm done with all my teaching blocks. The first day I brought you back to school, a fellow parent comes up to me and introduces herself. She tells me she's the Mum of one of your best mates. She tells me about how her son adores you and how her son has never forgotten your act of kindness. Your mate didn't have a hat so he was not allowed to play in the field during lunch (No Hat, No Play policy of the school!). He just stayed in the silver seats with no one to play with. Then here comes you. You left all your other friends in the field and stayed with your mate so he will have someone to play with! No one asked you to do that, not even your mate!  When I told you the story when we got home, you said, you can't remember it. Well, it proves that you really have a good heart! It may mean nothing for you, but for your friend, it did and he will forever remember it, anak!

These stories are the real rewards, anak. These are the best rewards for me and Papa!


God has given you everything that we have prayed for. It is only our prayer that you continue to grow up with a good heart and use everything that He has given you for His greater glory!

We are proud of you anak!

Keep up the good work!

Papa and Mama (and yes, Sammie too!) are here for you, all the time!

We love you to bits, Bits!

What makes me happier now is that you can now read all the letters I have been writing for you every year :-)

Love,

Mama

My Heart Bleeds

First, it's my first week of doing a temporary full time job and I'm glad I survived my first week. It was crazy! Tons of books to be marked, skipping meals, and bringing home work from school. Early to school, late to go home. It was impossible for me to really do iG and fb. Not at home as I try to help out on chores and catch up with the kids...and definitely not at work. Instead of catching up on fb I feel like writing and later, reading.

I'm happy my Kuya opens up to me. So I try my very best not to betray the trust he has given me. He's been sick for two days now and the past couple of days, naglalambing na. Why daw papa and me have dates, sammie and me have dates, but me and him have no dates....
Hmmmm .....remember the Mcdo commercial? I do! So tomorrow, I've set the day for a mama-kuya date. He is very excited! He kept on asking where we'll go :-)

But, over dinner, he also told me the story of one of his friends putting him into trouble. This kid supposedly gets Kuya's arms from behind slaps someone then goes to the teacher on duty, tells a lie that Liam hit someone. Teacher on duty calls Liam, reprimands him. Liam says the kid who actually did it is lying but teacher does not believe Liam :-(

I am worried and sad. I feel bad :-(

This incident was the last straw for that kid. I gave him lots of chances even if Liam kept on telling stories of him lying, saying rude words and a little bullying. I have no other choice but to ask Liam not to play and consider that silly kid a friend anymore. Of course, I had to process my decision to kuya, that friends, real friends, do not let and  put their friends into trouble, especially by lying.

I hope when Kuya goes back to school next week, he'll follow me, even if I'm not there. I'll hope that kid respects Liam when Liam avoids him.

As a mum my heart is bleeding. I am worried. I thought I've already toughened up my heart for things like these... but I guess I need to toughen it some more...all I can do is have faith that my son will be guided how to handle this silly kid. I think the kid senses, mabait si Liam.

Indeed, it's a crazy world out there!

The Last Week Off

Like what I mentioned in my previous blog, things have been really busy at work. Last week, I didn't plan to work the whole week but ended up teaching the same class from Monday to Friday. Not that I'm complaining but having no helpers around made things at home a little crazier and messier at that!

The weekend passed through really quickly. Didn't get the chance to catch up with house work since our weekend social calendar was also jam packed. With the arrival of my in-laws, the kids' swimming classes, visit to hubby's relatives and of course, our service.

I told Alvin I'm taking the whole week off since starting next week I don't know how  my life is going to be.

I needed this week off to catch up on housework.

I needed this week off to do errands for the family and friends.

I needed this week off to prepare the house and my in-laws for the next 7 weeks.

I needed this week to prepare myself in all aspects for the Herculean task I will be having at work starting Monday.

I needed this week off to spend time with my children.

The last reason takes the chunk of all the reasons why I said no to casual work/calls I received this week.

It was one of the best decisions I made because I can see that my kids were also happy with my decision.

Liam was probably happier because I had the chance to spend an entire morning during their Open Day at school. The priceless smile and hugs he gave me was more than enough to tell me he appreciates me for being there. He just doesn't know it but I was happier and prouder especially after seeing all the schoolwork he has been doing at school and after hearing all the good words his teacher has for him :-)

Obviously I was able to finish all my backlog because I was finally able to sit and write again, thanks to the help of my in-laws.... I plan to spend the next two days (weekends are fully booked again) just relaxing and reading my two books.

Liam 5 .5

Kuya!!!!!

My dear Kuya! 2013 is half-way thru and it only means that you're now five and a half years old! I plan to continue writing letters to you and your sister every year. I am more excited knowing that you can already read a lot of words with ease and you can easily read now my letter for you.

Happy ka na no? You're too excited to turn six years old because you're excited to start losing your teeth-- your baby teeth, not for any other reason, but because you're eagerly awaiting what the Tooth Fairy will be giving you. How much the Tooth Fairy will be giving you!

Well, before you turn six years old, allow me again to write to you the highlights of the year as I remember them. I might miss some again, but hopefully I don't miss out on the big ones.

Early this year, we went to my friend's house with your Lolo and Lola. Unfortunately, their child who cannot still speak well was so "violent" when you guys played together. Nakita ko at ng mga Lolo at Lola mo, kung pano ka nagpigil kahit sinapok sapok ka na at sinakal nung batang kalaro mo. Ilang beses ka binatukan pero di mo siya pinatulan. Nagpigil din kami ni Papa. When I talked to you about it in the car, you told me: "Yes, I was about to cry Mama but I stopped myself. He is younger than me." You gained my respect that night, anak. I was very proud of you. Yes, he is the same age as your sister, but technically you are still a kid too, and you could've easily hurt him, grabbed the toys he grabbed from you or cried or tell him in to his parents every time he hit you. But you didn't. You totally controlled yourself. Bravo, anak!

This year, you started attending the big school and boy, did you like it! No, make that, LOVE it! You brought home your first Blue Award on the second day of school! Earned 15 Blue Awards for the first  two terms and earned an Assistant Principal's Award after one semester. You really do continue to make me and your Papa really proud. Your initial reading level is at Level 10 whereas most of my Kindy students can't even read Level 2 books! You were one of the students chosen by your teacher to read the longest parts during the Kindy assembly when your class was the host! Galing galing ng stage presence! And I saw how you tried to overcome reading and pronouncing the difficult words like "cooperative" until you mastered and perfected it. Good habits anak, keep it up!

You love to write and you eagerly share your story especially on Monday afternoons after you have written your Recount in school. Now on school holidays, I saw how interested you are in writing. Hindi na pwede i-claim ng Papa mo yang area na yan! Yung Math, fine sa kanya na, pero ang writing? Sa akin na yun! hehehe Keep it up anak. Continue to improve yourself on the things that you love to do.

Yes, initially we had little arguments as we tried to establish your study habits -- doing homework, etc. -- but by and by you got the hang of it. Now, you can pace yourself well, not doing a lot on day one and not being too relaxed too.

But I think I still need to follow up your skills in packing up your things especially after doing your homework. ;-)

There was one major event that happened early this year when I saw how high your EQ was. I was called at work to fetch you from school because you were ill. I was in a dilemma because it was my first day back at work after all the cancellations I made the week before. To make the long story short, when I arrived to finally pick you up, I was expecting you'd cry as soon as you see me or that you'd be panicking already after the long wait you did...but no. You were composed. You had grace under pressure. Ako pa nga yung na tense and naiyak. Ikaw pa yung concerned if I was okay to think ikaw yung may sakit. I wish I had the same anak.

You have become more independent and I am now assured wala akong magiging problema when your sister starts big school. Kasi ngayon pa lang, kaya mo na alagaan sarili mo e.

At home, you and your sister have your episodes, aso't pusa moments, but when you've had a good afternoon nap or night's rest, you willingly give way and spoil your sister. Yung requests and whims ng kapatid mo, pinagbibigyan mo. Pag bati kayo ng kapatid mo ang saya-saya namin ng Papa mo kasi grabe yung level ng kulitan niyo ni Sammie e! Wrestling, habulan, hay!

May mga cheeky moments ka rin. Like one time I caught you making faces and trying to imitate me while I was lecturing you about something! Lokong bata! Pero natawa kami ng Papa mo. Anak, please be patient with Mama and Papa when we lecture you and re-instill values we want you to grow up with. Mahaba-haba pa ang lalakbayin natin. You're only 5 years old!

Papa and I observed that for a time you were getting addicted to the gadgets at home. There was one incident when Papa told you during one of your silly moments that you MIGHT not be allowed to use the tablet or iPad anymore, we were surprised when you actually followed it and reminded me about it when we got home and I told you to use the iPad first so you won't be bored anymore. Your exact words: "Mama, Papa said I can't use the tablet or iPad." When I told the story to your Papa, pati siya nagulat kasi he was just using it para "umayos" ka...not really serious about it. But well, because of that you proved that we can trust you. Now, even after Papa and I decided that no gadgets, iPads or Xbox from Sunday night up until Thursday night, you have no BIG issues about it. Well, sometimes you do, but when we explain things, you follow kahit labag sa kalooban mo hehehe :) Anyway, sometimes you get exemptions especially after you did good in school or at home. :-)

Lunch orders were part of your prize for getting Blue Awards but one time, after you brought home one Blue Award after the other, I joked about having no money anymore for your lunch order. You know what your reply was? "Mama, it's okay. I won't have lunch order anymore." Syempre, natameme na naman ako. Na-guilty tuloy ako. Instead of buying my lunch at school I decided to just prepare my lunch at home. Kung ikaw nga nagtitipid, e di ako din.

Your personality is still evolving. Ngayon, ayaw mo na ako halikan sa harap ng mga schoolmates mo huhuhu dami mo ng tanong...you have the tendency to compare yourself or our family with others...it's something that we will be working on...it's something we will be praying for. Remember what I always tell you, you don't have to do or you don't have to have what other people do or what other people have. God will give you what you need and what is best for you. Speaking of which, around March or April of this year, you learned how to pray the Rosary. I am happy anak. When Ben was blessed by Fr. Ruben, he was surprised when he heard you recite the prayers with ease. Another new fan! :-)

When my left eye got injured, you were so concerned. You always reminded your sister that I was not well and willingly did errands one of which was being my guide everytime I moved around the house especially when I go up or down the stairs.

I hope that as you grow older and even if you see other kids doing things that your Papa and I do not permit you to do, you'd stick with our rules. I hope that you'll continue to mature in a responsible and good way. I hope too that you'd not grow up so fast! Don't wish to grow up and get old quickly, enjoy your childhood anak.

I know that we've told you a lot of times how lucky you are for having to enjoy a lot of things that your Papa and I only got to enjoy when we were working already! Kaya, appreciate everything that you have now anak.

Hopefully, as you get older, we can instill in you the value of hardwork, love for work,  giving your best and never giving up especially now na mas marami ka ng naiintindihan :-)

Thank you anak for being you.

Till my next love letter.

I love you Kuya!

Love,
Mama

How Sammie Loves Her Kuya

My two kids have a typical sibling relationship.

They fight.

They argue.

They fight for the same toy, same gadget.

They sometimes think we are favoring one over the other.

They complain about each other.

They tell in on each other.

BUT, on their unguarded moments, we are assured that they love one another.

On this blog, I will focus on how Sam shows her love for her big brother, Liam.

THE KISS.

You should see her cry and tell in on her Kuya, when she asks for a kiss from him, and he declines! Hahaha As in i-wre-wrestling niya ang Kuya niya, para lang ma-kiss niya si Liam. Pag nagpumiglas kuya niya, iiyak at magsusumbong sa amin ng Papa niya.

At school, when Liam does not want to kiss her, she tells me she's sad because "Tuya, didn't kiss me."

When Liam tries to trick her and just kisses her on the forehead or cheeks, Sam is still not happy. Magsusumbong pa rin.

THE FOOD.

Everytime we have something new, she'd reserve one piece for her Kuya.

One time, I gave her 3 pieces of Pringles just before picking up Liam from school. She ate two. I asked her why she wasn't eating the last piece. She said she was going to give it to her Kuya. Well, it took a long time for the bell to ring, and she probably got hungry, so she ended up eating it as well (bagsak sa marshmallow test!)...Oh well, at least the thought was there hehehe

THE LIBRARY

Whenever we have our dates at the Library, the first thing she does is look at what DVD she can borrow for her Kuya. Ben 10, Transformers or Avengers. As soon as she gets hold of it, she gives it to me and tells me, it's for her Kuya. She also borrows books for him. This morning, on our way home, she just asked me, "Mama, did we put Kuya's DVD or book in the bag?" I said yes. I was the one who checked out all the items. This was the reply that I got: "Oh okay. I thought you forgot. We have to go back to the library or Kuya will be sad."

THE MUSIC

Whether we are in the car or shops or even at home, when she hears the songs Liam usually sings being played on the radio, she stops and tells me "Mama, listen, it's Kuya's favourite!"

RANDOM MOMENTS

When Kuya is sick. When she sees him crying. She doesn't think twice of cuddling her Kuya or hagudin ng maayos ang likod.

I won't deny -- I'm happy when I see these things happen right before my very eyes.

Kapag makulit silang dalawa at away ng away, sinasabihan ko ibibigay ko na sila sa different families. Ayun, bati agad.

I know that we still have a long way to go, their relationship as siblings will still have a long way to go, but for now, I think that everything is on the right track :)

My Clever Sammie

My Dear Sammie,

In a couple of days you will already turn 2 and a half years old! Wow! Where did time go?

Like what I did before with your Kuya, I am taking a break from all my worries, to sit down and write to you. I would like to capture in words everything that you are now...hoping that when you are a bit older and able to read on your own, you have something to remind you of how you were at this stage of your life.

They say that fathers and daughters have a different kind of connection. Usually, the daughters are closer with their fathers as compared to their mothers. But looking at the last couple of months, I don't think that applies to us. Two weeks ago, out of the blue, you just told me: "Mama, you're my best friend! My super best friend!" Yes. It melted my heart and made your Papa jealous! hahahaha :)

You are definitely the family's baby. But, am I already babying you too much? On my end I think I don't. You have had your share of time-outs and a little spanking, of a LOT of reprimanding especially from me! So I don't know what made you decide to make me as your super best friend! But I am very happy, honoured and challenged! Yes, I am challenged because I would like you to still tell me that I am still your super best friend after you start going to the big school or when you are already a teenager or even when you're already a grown up! I will not worry on that now. Let's take it one step at a time.

You are now at the peak of your terrible twos and can I say this? This is my first time to handle such "craziness" !!!! I can't believe how you've pushed me to my limits hahahaha really testing if I can be as consistent to all the rules. Yes, you did try my patience. But even if there were a lot of reasons to get annoyed or mad or lose it, you had that ability to make our hearts melt. To turn our frowned and angry faces to happy and laughing ones! Remember just last week, Papa was getting annoyed with you and Kuya because you were so noisy at church then out of the blue you just pretended and walked like a zombie! Hahaha I thought your Papa wouldn't give in...but he did ;) You have that special power specially with your Papa. Well, I guess for all of us too :)

Oh I just love it when you say "I love you Mama" or "I love you Papa" or "I love you Tuya" out of the blue! That makes our day sweetheart!

You are one caring and loving sister. At this point, I know that even if you tend to annoy your "Tuya" or grab toys from him, or fight him, deep in your heart, you love him. How can we forget the times when your Kuya was out and didn't sleep at home. You kept telling Papa and Mama that you're sad because you miss your Kuya. You kept on telling us to already fetch your Kuya. And when he got home? Oh the noise and all the commotion that filled the house! Your Papa and I can only look at one another and smile!  You stayed up late so you and your Kuya can catch up with "lost time" and you gave whatever your Kuya asked. You shared every toy and patiently waited for your turn for the ipad or tablet. You like that your Kuya puts his arms around your shoulders when the two of you watch something from the ipad. You get annoyed when he removes his arm! You know how to make lambing to your "Tuya." You also worry when Kuya gets hurt. When you see Kuya crying because he got into trouble with Papa and Mama, you don't take delight in it. You come to him and put your hands on his back, telling him "it's alright, Tuya." Don't worry sweetheart, it's not a one-way thing. Your Kuya loves you more than you can ever imagine. Papa and Mama are assured that if ever something happens to us (touchwood) your "Tuya" will take good care of you.

Like what we have expected, you are one chatterbox! I think I have met my match! Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Kidding aside, taking care of you was not as difficult because you were already able to express what you want, what you need, what you think of things. Yes, you even told Mama not to go to work a LOT of times already because it will make you sad. You already know how and where to hit me, eh? :) I was tongue tied too when you started praying about "my wedding" in our morning prayer time!

The past couple of weeks, your Papa and I were just so amazed with the words you were using to converse with us or with your cousins. You are becoming cleverer by the day! Not only because you are our child but because people around us can really see it. You already know how to rebut an argument (makings of a lawyer?) and yes, you already know how to complain!!!! "That's not fair! I'm tired!"....Are you sure you're only two? Well, we're not the only one asking that question because even total strangers can't also believe that you talk that much for your age! Well, I'm not complaining.

Your Papa and I are just thankful and proud of everything that you have achieved. You were toilet trained as early as 27 months! Well, sometimes, when we're out and Mama doesn't want to get disturbed, I silently wish that you were still wearing a nappy! Oooppps. Last week, we got surprised when you suddenly spelled out your name -- S - A- M. Yes, we knew that weeks before you knew that your name starts with the letter "s" because every time you see it on the newspapers or magazines, you excitedly point it to us and tell us "Look, Mama, that's my name..." And last Saturday, you were able to identify all the letters on Mama's shirt -- JUST DO IT. Sorry, but I underestimated you. I was gobsmacked when you finished. You can count backwards from 10- 0. You can now count from 1- 20. You already know how to figure out things and can sense when Mama is trying to trick you. Well, in return, you try to outsmart me too! Remember when I told you I had to drop you off at child care because your school bell is ringing already? Well, after two weeks, you told me that we had to bring Kuya first to school, because his school bell is already ringing -- yes, you were trying your best not to let Mama bring you to childcare!

You try to overcome your fears especially the first time you were doing swimming lessons without me in the pool with you. But you did it! It's just a start, anak. Life may be cruel sometimes and you just have to face your fears and do it!

Spunky and girly -- two words to describe you at this point. Spunky. Yes, you are a fighter. As early as now we can already see that. In a way, we are relieved because we are living in a country different from where Papa and Mama grew up. We know that it will be an asset in the future. Girly! Oh yes, you have this soft side. hehehe You love playing with your dolls, cooking for them, putting them to sleep. You get angry when Mama becomes too noisy at home or at the car when your babies are asleep. Just thinking, not that I want ok...but you have the makings of  being a good big sister ;)  you like lipsticks, you love dresses -- oh, did  I mention that a couple of months before you turned two, you were already the ones picking up your clothes?!  It's a bit frustrating for me especially that I got used to your Kuya who just wears the clothes I pick for him. Going back to you, you love ballets, leggings, bags and my four-inch heels! Still can't believe you were able to walk on those without tripping! At this point, you're done with Dora. You're slowly shifting to Hello Kitty.You still love Hi-5 and you love to sing and dance to their songs! I think you were inspired to take dancing seriously when you saw your Kuyas and Ates at the KFC - IKV :) You love to paint! You are not afraid to make your hands dirty. You love to explore and imagine things. Keep it up!

There are still some things I think we need to work on -- like your colours, shapes...packing away of toys, sticking to one decision...oooops. Yes, I have my list on that too! But like what I said, we'll take it one day at a time. For now, enjoy your childhood :) We will be here to enjoy it with you.

Yesterday, when you got back from school, you told me, "Mama, Tegan hold my hand in school. She's my best friend!" My world stopped. I panicked! What?! I tried to ask you, "what about me? you told me I was your best friend?" Maybe you sensed my hurt so in trying to make it up to me you immediately said: "Oh, you and Tegan are my best friends!" Ok. That will do for the mean time. But I promise you anak, Mama will try my very best to be worthy of becoming your best friend from today up until I'm old and grey.


Sweetheart, Papa and I can't stop the time. As much as we would want you and your Kuya to stay as lovable, sweet and young that you are now, we can't. All we can do is to enjoy every minute and every opportunity given to us to marvel at your achievements and everything that is part of your journey.

I look forward to our coffee (ok , you're still too young for that)....ice cream dates or shopping dates in the future.

I love you my Sammie.

And yes, you will always be our....my baby girl.

Love and kisses,

Mama

love you forever!

And So It Begins!

And so it begins!

Another chapter of my son's journey starts today.

He is now in Kindy. Yes, the big school!

As you start with this chapter:

We pray you'll find learning fun and enjoyable.

Meet friends you can have for keeps.

Learn about life, inside and outside the four walls of your classroom.

Realize the value of hardwork and perseverance.

Savour the fruits of your labour.

There's no denying, it's time for me and Papa to let go of you some more.

So, go ahead, spread your wings some more and start making good memories. Don't be afraid to make mistakes and try again. They are one of life's best teachers ;)

We're here to support you.

Remember that wherever you may go, Papa, Mama and Sammie are always here for you. We will always be here for you.

We love you, Kuya Liam!

Note: I cried last night and this afternoon. Just a mum,  getting sentimental :)

the night before :)

even the props are all set!

before leaving the house

Waiting for his teacher to collect their class.

first output for the year, which he read by himself. the only one in class who was able to read  it :)

Save Up!

Alvin showed me the ad last night from the Target catalogue.

I knew it will be a good buy because both my kids love to paint or draw (not to mention that it will be less messy, saving me time from cleaning up their mess after every painting session).

Anyway, I was stopping myself because Liam is already very observant and might think that they can have everything they want in a whim. He might even have the illusion that we are rich!

I have to do something!

This will then be Liam's first lesson about saving up for something you like. I will give him one dollar everyday in return for something until we reach the amount needed. I chose doing some house chores first, like cleaning up and brushing the carpet.

Aside from saying no when they point to something they like when we're at the shops, hopefully, this exercise will be effective as well in teaching him the value of hard earned money.

A Crazy World

Do you remember that movie entitled, "Mean Girls" ?

Or have you recently watched, read or encountered something about kids being mean to other kids, or kids bullying other kids?

Last weekend, during the BESA gathering a Nette just shared some sad news about teenagers, taking their own life, four of which used the train tracks as the medium of their suicide.

It did not help that last week, there were two special features shown in the primetime news about teenagers, again, taking their own life, because of cyber bullying.

And this week, after working for three straight days, I saw with my very own eyes, how the threat of bullying (or meanness) and its effect to kids, is very real.

Example, last Tuesday while doing lunch duty, I saw a Yr 3 girl crying. I approached her and asked her what was wrong, she told me that "____ and _____ are my only real friends here in school, and now, they just told me that they don't want me as a friend anymore."

I could have easily told her to don't mind them or to stop crying, because that is just so petty! Knowing myself, I could have easily felt so annoyed with the reason she gave me. But the recent news and as a parent whose eldest child already goes to pre-school, I can't help but feel sorry for the kid. How can other kids be so mean?  I am an adult. It may look and sound petty for me, but for that poor child, it was one big rejection! It was one big blow for her!

No wonder, kids nowadays do all crazy stuff just as so they can get accepted. And when rejected, they feel it's already the end of the world. Sadly, for some, it was indeed the end of their world.

It's sad and scary for me.

A few nights ago, Alvin and I were actually discussing why bullying is just rampant nowadays. Maybe because teachers can't discipline kids nowadays like during our time? Maybe because of some factors like family or culture?  Technology is not helping too! We are worried, but more than that, we are praying, that both our kids will be spared from such meanness.

Even if we want to protect our kids and be with them 24/7, that is impossible.

Alvin and I know that we can only do so much. All we can do is to continue to help them and teach them values in life -- confidence, self-love, self-respect, respect for others, resiliency, to  always choose to be happy and of course, to have faith.

It's really a scary and crazy world out there. We hope and pray that by the time both our kids are ready to conquer it, we have prepared them well.





Looking at both of them now, we are very thankful that both of them have happy dispositions.

Respecting Their Feelings

Yesterday, after Sam's swimming lessons, I decided to go to the library which was in the same centre since I didn't have much to do back at home.

After five minutes and reading two books to Sam, I thought it was time to go. When I decided to go home, Sam was just starting to get interested. In other words, she felt she wanted to stay longer in the library to explore.

E makulit ang nanay. I was thinking I didn't bring my library card so no use staying. I carried her against her will. She didn't try but she was saying, "no, no, no Mama. Inside" while pointing to the library as we headed out to the parking lot.

When I put her on her car seat, dun na siya nag-wala. As in, she wasy crying the whole ten minutes from the place up until we reached home.

I didn't lose it, but I felt bad. Naalala ko yung isang article that I read in Attachment Parenting, about parents should learn how to respect their children's emotions.

Para sa atin kasing mga matatanda, since tayo ang matanda, dapat tayo ang masusunod. We forget about what our kids might have felt or might be feeling during the time of the ordeal. Believe it or not, there has been a big improvement when I learned and did the "giving time" approach to Liam. Seldom do I get mad now at Liam or seldom do we argue or him crying because I give him time to finish the activity he is involved with or he is stucked with. I give him allowance, I patiently wait for him to settle and when he is ready to move on. I read that it is one way of respecting them, and true enough, it worked.

So yesterday, I felt that I didn't do it with Sam. She wasn't ready yet. I should have let her stay and respected her time and emotions.

Tayo ngang mga matatanda ayaw ng naiistorbo pag may ginagawa, di ba? Our kids are no different. We just take them for granted because we think everything is okay. And we get mad when there is a violent reaction -- tantrums, etc., on their part. What we do not know is they can already feel different emotions di lang nila kaya pang sabihin ng derecho sa atin.

I promised myself to do better next time. I promised that like what I do with Liam, I will also be more sensible and respectful of the emotions of my little girl.

:D

Colour Blindness

Liam can't see the number 5 in green dots

Have you encountered those annoying ads in some newspaper websites which asks you if you can see the number in a pool of orange dots?


It is a test for colour blindness.








I didn't care before, well, up until last Tuesday.

Last Tuesday, the pre-school directress called my attention because she accidentally discovered that Liam might be colour blind. She was actually testing another boy using the Ishihara test, as requested by another parent, when by some twist of fate, she was able to discover Liam's inability to see the green number in the pool of orange dots. She then advised me to bring Liam to an eye doctor to formally test and see if he is indeed colour blind.

And so he is.

Today, we went to an optometrist and she did perform a series of tests to Liam. The diagnosis? Liam is blue-green colour blind.

Yes, he can identify the colours in isolation, but when it is blended with other colors, he will have difficulty seeing and identifying it. Brought back memories when he was still learning his colours and he had a hard time distinguishing the purple from a different shade of blue.

Some facts:

No need for me to worry since we really can't do anything about it. You can't treat it. The only implication of him being colour-blind is: he cannot join the army, the navy, the air force and become a pilot. These professions require 100% accuracy in vision. (I'm actually relieved hehehe).

The mother is usually the carrier of the deficiency (recessive) and it comes out as a dominant trait with their sons. So, I'm to blame. Sorry, Liam :( The optometrist actually advised me to ask my brothers to have their eyes checked for colour blindness. It is predominant in males.

The test this afternoon was not only with colour blindness but with his vision too. The optometrist said that he had perfect vision. It's even better than most kids his age. He aced the letters and numbers, he uses both eyes to read and look at pictures, but really showed difficulty identifying them when set in a green background.

The optometrist said that it can also have an implication with his studies if ever the teacher uses the green coloured ink on the whiteboard or on the smartboard. To prevent that from happening, I already asked for a medical report which I plan to give to Liam's school next year. At least they are already aware of Liam's case.

We just have to teach him the green in the traffic signs in a different way, especially the walk-don't walk sign.

I am actually relieved that it has been diagnosed this early. Though the doctor assured me that I shouldn't really be worried because kids can adapt easily (goodbye tennis lessons?), but still, part of me is remains sad :(

Hopefully, in due time, I'd come to terms with it and move on :)

Now, I'm just looking at the brighter side of life :) There are still a lot of things to be thankful for :)

Surprise

The past few days my son has been requesting pancakes for breakfast. We kept on turning him down because we wanted to finish the loaves of bread and scones which were near their best before dates. Last night, I promised him that I'd cook pancakes if mama didn't have work. He was very excited.

I was already solved with the idea that I will have a free day today until my mobile rang before 9 pm. Of course my son got a bit disappointed.

Alvin has a plant visit today in Central Coast and he had to leave early. It was a blessing in disguise because I got to wake up early as well. I had plenty of time in my hands that I decided to surprise Liam and cook pancake for breakfast. And since he already knows how to read, I wrote an I love you note for him and Sam, beside his pancake, which I put on his favourite saucer.

This surprise is enough to send happy hormones to my system!

I hope Liam will be delighted.

Got to go. Time to wake up my little boy  :-)

Updates on the Big School

Last Thursday, I and Liam had an interview with the Deputy Principal of Quakers Hill Public School. The interview went well. Liam was a bit shy and always looked at me before he answered the questions, but he did pretty well for a first-timer. It was a very informal one. I also had the chance to ask questions.

After the very short interview, the Deputy Principal toured us around the campus. It's like giving me a personal parents' orientation!

She gave me a welcome pack already so I can read and know more about the school. Although at this point, we are still on the waitlist. The committee which will decide on the number and who among those waitlisted will be given the opportunity to enroll for next school year. The school will keep in touch and I was informed that we will be hearing from them latest September.

Before the interview, I was already settled and somewhat decided that we will just let Liam go to Barnier. After the interview, I am now convinced that Quakers Hill Public School might just be the school for our little boy. My issues on technology and their programmes for advanced kids are just one of the many reasons why I am reconsidering. They have before and after school care within the school, they have many extra-curricular activities being offered to kids, they have Scripture classes as well. Even Liam changed his mind after our trip.

The waiting (and the harder part) part now begins. I will keep you posted when I receive (hopefully, the good news) the letter from the school.

We are still discerning for it, but we might just take it as a sign, if ever we are considered in that school :D

My Son Can Now Read!

Yes, all my patience and hardwork has paid off  :-)

Liam can now read on his own. Simple words and simple sentences. He is still not a perfect reader, but he is getting there. I was able to record it but the file is too big for blogger. I was able to upload it though in my Facebook account  :-)

Of course, not everyone gave the thumbs up sign :p who cares? It doesn't matter :)

I just feel proud because it is a personal achievement for both me and my son. I feel a different kind of high seeing him now, comparing him and looking back at how he was when we were just starting. When I hear him read to me, struggle to read the words correctly, sound out each letter top come up with the word and overcome it --all music to my ears. Feel na feel ko ang pagiging nanay, dahil ako ang nagturo sa anak ko magbasa. Sorry, but I won't give credit to his teachers in pre-school and in childcare because formal reading is taught in the big schools. Early childhood education here are all play-based unlike in Manila. Weird, huh?

I know this is only the beginning and it's still a long way for my little boy.But as they say, the first step is usually the hardest, once you've made that, the rest is history.

Another milestone Kuya Liam, reading at the age of 4 years and 4 months :D Another proud moment for both me and your Papa! Great job, Kuya!!!

Looking forward to more reading bonding nights with you.  :-)