No BIG Secret

How do you react when people praise you for the kind of parenting you do for your kids?

Humbled. Speechless. Thankful. Inspired.

I am no perfect mum. I only have 7 years of experience under my belt and I only have 2 kids to raise so I'm actually shocked to get compliments. I don't consider myself an expert in this area that is why I am grateful to receive compliments from people when they verbalize their admiration on the way I am raising my kids. Some people say I inspire them while others even say that when the time comes they'll have kids, they will actually ask pointers from me. Whoah!

So I'm taking this time to sit and reflect on what made me "successful" for the last seven years. I'll share some of the things that came to my mind.

1. I'm a LEARNER. I think one of the things I was blessed with are "older" friends who have also unselfishly given advice and tips on how they were raising their children. Friends who do not fear sharing the mistakes they made in their journey so young parents like me can learn. I look for inspiring fellow parents who have done and are doing a great job in parenting. My stand that I am always in the Learning Side has done wonders for me. The openness to learn from other people, and from my own mistakes have definitely guided me. My stand that I can always learn from other people and that I am not an expert have helped tremendously! This is why I am also very inspired to share my learnings. Let's just say it's my way of paying it forward. 

2. I READ. Parenting as they say does not come with a handbook so when expert advice are available to make this gigantic task easy and bearable, why not try them? I am not only talking about the new studies to make our kids smarter, more successful, how to support them, how to be like this and like that. I am also talking about their holistic development, their faith included. But having said that, I don't take in everything. I screen and see what will be best for our family. 

3. I WORK WITH A GREAT PARTNER. I am not taking all the credit here. Our kids will not be what they are now if my husband was not with me all throughout.  I take my hats off to Alvin because he has definitely tried his best to be as involved in raising our kids. May it be playing with the kids even when he's dead tired, making it on-time for dinner, teaching the kids, etc. Our "team" usually works where I do the readings I share it with Alvin and we discuss how we can adapt the "style" to our family. We stand as one when dealing with the kids. We don't put one in the "bad spot" so the kids will not end up favoring one parent over the other. 

4. I DON'T EXPECT. I've read some articles or letters of other mums voicing their frustration over their kids who are not "performing" or "achieving." It made me think. Why am I not frustrated with my kids? Don't get me wrong. My kids ARE NOT PERFECT. We don't see them as one. The secret is we don't expect them to be one.  Our kids fight, they whine, they whinge, they complain,  they disobey us sometimes, they get angry, they fight us, they sometimes answer us back. They sometimes drive us to our wits end but why is it that we don't get frustrated with all of these? Alvin and I tried to answer this and the only thing we could think of is we accept them, wholly. Their strengths AND EVEN THEIR WEAKNESSES. We don't have pre-conceived expectations which in turn don't give us any disappointments if ever they do not reach "the bar." We celebrate their achievements, yes, because for us, it's a bonus. We celebrate their uniqueness. We celebrate them. We look and be joyful at what's on our plate and not focus on the others' plates. 

 5. I PRAY. I guess this is no big secret and I think most parents do this. But, yes, that's it, I (we pray) and this takes up the biggest chunk of all the things we've been doing. Everything is anchored in Him! We pray not only for our kids, their concerns, their relationships, their future, their hearts. But we also pray for ourselves, we pray for our imperfections and weaknesses as parents. We pray for strength and guidance. We pray as we raise our children be who God wants them to be. We pray for our relationships with them and them as siblings to one another. If we are just to follow every parenting tip we have read, we'll already probably go nuts! Some contradict the others. So what to do? Pray. Pray for guidance, pray for strength, pray for wisdom. Parenting is no easy task. It's a full-time job in itself. It's physically, mentally, emotionally and financially draining so if we are to rely on our own "wisdom" and strength, we might have thrown out the towel ages ago. But our Lord continues to sustain us.

That's it! What I have written above is totally not something new. I'm pretty sure you've read more or you know more but at this point, I'm just happy to share it :-) I'm also sure marami pa akong kakaining bigas! 

Thank you for reading it :-)

Unfair

Last week, my Kuya Liam had their school's Recognition day!

He surprised both me and Papa when the award that he got was the Academic Excellence award! There are only five awardees in each class and only one got that award. He got a certificate and a gold medal for that.

Being new to everything we didn't know what to expect. Yes, we knew he'd be presented an award a simple certificate and that's it.  Everything that happened that day was a surprise for all of us.

We were all happy of course!

As a proud parent, I shared a short video and a photo of his medal and certificate on my FB account. Real friends sent their warmest and sincere greetings and we, especially Liam was really happy about it!

I just find it unfair when after saying, "Congratulations, Liam!" may kasunod na, "teacher kasi nanay e!" or "Syempre, teacher nanay!" or"Kina-career kasi ng Mama!"

May iba, hindi na sinasabi pero yun ang iniisip!

Grrrr!

So what if he's a child of a teacher?!

So dapat, lahat ng anak ng teacher sa buong mundo puro honor students na, di ba?!

It just so happens that his mum's work is in the field of education!

I find it unfair for Liam.

He has really worked hard to achieve that.

If you have only seen him give up his "gadget time" or play time, even his afternoon naps so he can finish off a book, do extra activity, or finish his homework. This, in addition to balancing his time and energy as he also has tennis training and swimming!

My son got the award not because I am a teacher, but because he deserved it!

My Heart Bleeds

First, it's my first week of doing a temporary full time job and I'm glad I survived my first week. It was crazy! Tons of books to be marked, skipping meals, and bringing home work from school. Early to school, late to go home. It was impossible for me to really do iG and fb. Not at home as I try to help out on chores and catch up with the kids...and definitely not at work. Instead of catching up on fb I feel like writing and later, reading.

I'm happy my Kuya opens up to me. So I try my very best not to betray the trust he has given me. He's been sick for two days now and the past couple of days, naglalambing na. Why daw papa and me have dates, sammie and me have dates, but me and him have no dates....
Hmmmm .....remember the Mcdo commercial? I do! So tomorrow, I've set the day for a mama-kuya date. He is very excited! He kept on asking where we'll go :-)

But, over dinner, he also told me the story of one of his friends putting him into trouble. This kid supposedly gets Kuya's arms from behind slaps someone then goes to the teacher on duty, tells a lie that Liam hit someone. Teacher on duty calls Liam, reprimands him. Liam says the kid who actually did it is lying but teacher does not believe Liam :-(

I am worried and sad. I feel bad :-(

This incident was the last straw for that kid. I gave him lots of chances even if Liam kept on telling stories of him lying, saying rude words and a little bullying. I have no other choice but to ask Liam not to play and consider that silly kid a friend anymore. Of course, I had to process my decision to kuya, that friends, real friends, do not let and  put their friends into trouble, especially by lying.

I hope when Kuya goes back to school next week, he'll follow me, even if I'm not there. I'll hope that kid respects Liam when Liam avoids him.

As a mum my heart is bleeding. I am worried. I thought I've already toughened up my heart for things like these... but I guess I need to toughen it some more...all I can do is have faith that my son will be guided how to handle this silly kid. I think the kid senses, mabait si Liam.

Indeed, it's a crazy world out there!

Liam 5 .5

Kuya!!!!!

My dear Kuya! 2013 is half-way thru and it only means that you're now five and a half years old! I plan to continue writing letters to you and your sister every year. I am more excited knowing that you can already read a lot of words with ease and you can easily read now my letter for you.

Happy ka na no? You're too excited to turn six years old because you're excited to start losing your teeth-- your baby teeth, not for any other reason, but because you're eagerly awaiting what the Tooth Fairy will be giving you. How much the Tooth Fairy will be giving you!

Well, before you turn six years old, allow me again to write to you the highlights of the year as I remember them. I might miss some again, but hopefully I don't miss out on the big ones.

Early this year, we went to my friend's house with your Lolo and Lola. Unfortunately, their child who cannot still speak well was so "violent" when you guys played together. Nakita ko at ng mga Lolo at Lola mo, kung pano ka nagpigil kahit sinapok sapok ka na at sinakal nung batang kalaro mo. Ilang beses ka binatukan pero di mo siya pinatulan. Nagpigil din kami ni Papa. When I talked to you about it in the car, you told me: "Yes, I was about to cry Mama but I stopped myself. He is younger than me." You gained my respect that night, anak. I was very proud of you. Yes, he is the same age as your sister, but technically you are still a kid too, and you could've easily hurt him, grabbed the toys he grabbed from you or cried or tell him in to his parents every time he hit you. But you didn't. You totally controlled yourself. Bravo, anak!

This year, you started attending the big school and boy, did you like it! No, make that, LOVE it! You brought home your first Blue Award on the second day of school! Earned 15 Blue Awards for the first  two terms and earned an Assistant Principal's Award after one semester. You really do continue to make me and your Papa really proud. Your initial reading level is at Level 10 whereas most of my Kindy students can't even read Level 2 books! You were one of the students chosen by your teacher to read the longest parts during the Kindy assembly when your class was the host! Galing galing ng stage presence! And I saw how you tried to overcome reading and pronouncing the difficult words like "cooperative" until you mastered and perfected it. Good habits anak, keep it up!

You love to write and you eagerly share your story especially on Monday afternoons after you have written your Recount in school. Now on school holidays, I saw how interested you are in writing. Hindi na pwede i-claim ng Papa mo yang area na yan! Yung Math, fine sa kanya na, pero ang writing? Sa akin na yun! hehehe Keep it up anak. Continue to improve yourself on the things that you love to do.

Yes, initially we had little arguments as we tried to establish your study habits -- doing homework, etc. -- but by and by you got the hang of it. Now, you can pace yourself well, not doing a lot on day one and not being too relaxed too.

But I think I still need to follow up your skills in packing up your things especially after doing your homework. ;-)

There was one major event that happened early this year when I saw how high your EQ was. I was called at work to fetch you from school because you were ill. I was in a dilemma because it was my first day back at work after all the cancellations I made the week before. To make the long story short, when I arrived to finally pick you up, I was expecting you'd cry as soon as you see me or that you'd be panicking already after the long wait you did...but no. You were composed. You had grace under pressure. Ako pa nga yung na tense and naiyak. Ikaw pa yung concerned if I was okay to think ikaw yung may sakit. I wish I had the same anak.

You have become more independent and I am now assured wala akong magiging problema when your sister starts big school. Kasi ngayon pa lang, kaya mo na alagaan sarili mo e.

At home, you and your sister have your episodes, aso't pusa moments, but when you've had a good afternoon nap or night's rest, you willingly give way and spoil your sister. Yung requests and whims ng kapatid mo, pinagbibigyan mo. Pag bati kayo ng kapatid mo ang saya-saya namin ng Papa mo kasi grabe yung level ng kulitan niyo ni Sammie e! Wrestling, habulan, hay!

May mga cheeky moments ka rin. Like one time I caught you making faces and trying to imitate me while I was lecturing you about something! Lokong bata! Pero natawa kami ng Papa mo. Anak, please be patient with Mama and Papa when we lecture you and re-instill values we want you to grow up with. Mahaba-haba pa ang lalakbayin natin. You're only 5 years old!

Papa and I observed that for a time you were getting addicted to the gadgets at home. There was one incident when Papa told you during one of your silly moments that you MIGHT not be allowed to use the tablet or iPad anymore, we were surprised when you actually followed it and reminded me about it when we got home and I told you to use the iPad first so you won't be bored anymore. Your exact words: "Mama, Papa said I can't use the tablet or iPad." When I told the story to your Papa, pati siya nagulat kasi he was just using it para "umayos" ka...not really serious about it. But well, because of that you proved that we can trust you. Now, even after Papa and I decided that no gadgets, iPads or Xbox from Sunday night up until Thursday night, you have no BIG issues about it. Well, sometimes you do, but when we explain things, you follow kahit labag sa kalooban mo hehehe :) Anyway, sometimes you get exemptions especially after you did good in school or at home. :-)

Lunch orders were part of your prize for getting Blue Awards but one time, after you brought home one Blue Award after the other, I joked about having no money anymore for your lunch order. You know what your reply was? "Mama, it's okay. I won't have lunch order anymore." Syempre, natameme na naman ako. Na-guilty tuloy ako. Instead of buying my lunch at school I decided to just prepare my lunch at home. Kung ikaw nga nagtitipid, e di ako din.

Your personality is still evolving. Ngayon, ayaw mo na ako halikan sa harap ng mga schoolmates mo huhuhu dami mo ng tanong...you have the tendency to compare yourself or our family with others...it's something that we will be working on...it's something we will be praying for. Remember what I always tell you, you don't have to do or you don't have to have what other people do or what other people have. God will give you what you need and what is best for you. Speaking of which, around March or April of this year, you learned how to pray the Rosary. I am happy anak. When Ben was blessed by Fr. Ruben, he was surprised when he heard you recite the prayers with ease. Another new fan! :-)

When my left eye got injured, you were so concerned. You always reminded your sister that I was not well and willingly did errands one of which was being my guide everytime I moved around the house especially when I go up or down the stairs.

I hope that as you grow older and even if you see other kids doing things that your Papa and I do not permit you to do, you'd stick with our rules. I hope that you'll continue to mature in a responsible and good way. I hope too that you'd not grow up so fast! Don't wish to grow up and get old quickly, enjoy your childhood anak.

I know that we've told you a lot of times how lucky you are for having to enjoy a lot of things that your Papa and I only got to enjoy when we were working already! Kaya, appreciate everything that you have now anak.

Hopefully, as you get older, we can instill in you the value of hardwork, love for work,  giving your best and never giving up especially now na mas marami ka ng naiintindihan :-)

Thank you anak for being you.

Till my next love letter.

I love you Kuya!

Love,
Mama

Time First, Time Out!

The last two weeks have been really bad for us, health wise. 

Yes, I was just asking Winter to be good to us, but no, I think she didn't have second thoughts of having us feel her arrival!

Strike One: Sam got the bug early last week. I had to ask permission to work on half day Monday, even if I didn't feel comfortable about it. Hey, my work is relieving someone who is away, so you understand why I can't be away. Anyway, her fever subsided but still had to stay home Wednesday because her tummy was still upset. In effect, I had to cancel my advanced booking for Wednesday.

Strike Two: I got an eye injury. Wednesday afternoon Sam accidentally injured my left eye, leaving me with no choice but to cancel my booking again on Thursday and Friday. It was impossible for me to work. First, the eye patch hindered me from doing my usual activities like driving. Second, the doctor told me so. Third, I was so nauseous, it reminded me why I don't want to get pregnant again! Kidding aside, it was painful and it was hard (especially for a person like me who is always on the go). In effect, we were not able to do much during the long weekend.

Strike Three: Liam got the bug as well. He showed signs as early as Saturday, but it was only yesterday when he actually felt it. Talk about bad timing. I know I wasn't giving the school a good impression when I kept on cancelling my bookings, but what can I do? Yesterday, I was called in AT WORK, 30 minutes before dismissal to collect my son. I knew I had to drop everything and leave because it was what everyone was expecting me to do. But yesterday was a big dilemma for me. With all the cancellations I made last week, I didn't have the guts to ask permission if I can do undertime again because of an emergency. I asked and pleaded to my son's school if they can keep him just until I finish my work. Initially,  they agreed, but after fifteen minutes, the phone came ringing again. Imagine the torture I had to deal with yesterday. After the second call, I knew I had to face it full on, gather all my guts and ask permission again :(

Bonus: When I came to collect Liam, I was treated coldly by the school secretary. Even if she didn't utter a word, she made me feel like I'm a bad mum. That smirk on her face was just, arrrgh. Worse, before they released Liam to me, I had to endure being "lectured" by the school principal about having to organise people who can collect my son in cases like what happened yesterday AND about not having to let my son wait for a long time. I tried to explain where I was coming from -- the dilemma I had --but I was cut and the words that were uttered after that, were for me, a bit rude.

So yesterday was just horrible. Yes, I felt horrible emotionally. I felt so weak, physically. I actually haven't fully recovered from my eye injury as my head still had throbbing pains while I was at work, but I had to make a sacrifice just as so I will not jeopardise my work. I didn't lose it especially after the last straw: I had to again ring the school to cancel work, to inform them that my son is not able to go to school today and I need to stay with him.

Depressing, right?

I just had to laugh it off last night. Let go, let God.

Where was hubby, you ask? He was there all throughout, giving me the emotional support that I needed. He was my shock absorber. Siya inaway ko at sinungitan ko, big time. But he let me. He took it calmly and was ready to listen to my long story and rants. Knowing him, if only his office was much nearer and he hasn't just started with the new position, I'm pretty sure, he'd be the first one to volunteer on other days, just to give me a break. Oh well. Thankful he chose his battle hehehe ;)

Sending  a LONG EMAIL to the school principal informing them that I was disappointed as to how the case was handled and receiving a phone call this morning giving an apology made things a lot better.

Liam is on the road to recovery (pwera USOG!) and hopefully, this is the last straw of unfortunate events as home.

Lord, time first muna. Please?

My Clever Sammie

My Dear Sammie,

In a couple of days you will already turn 2 and a half years old! Wow! Where did time go?

Like what I did before with your Kuya, I am taking a break from all my worries, to sit down and write to you. I would like to capture in words everything that you are now...hoping that when you are a bit older and able to read on your own, you have something to remind you of how you were at this stage of your life.

They say that fathers and daughters have a different kind of connection. Usually, the daughters are closer with their fathers as compared to their mothers. But looking at the last couple of months, I don't think that applies to us. Two weeks ago, out of the blue, you just told me: "Mama, you're my best friend! My super best friend!" Yes. It melted my heart and made your Papa jealous! hahahaha :)

You are definitely the family's baby. But, am I already babying you too much? On my end I think I don't. You have had your share of time-outs and a little spanking, of a LOT of reprimanding especially from me! So I don't know what made you decide to make me as your super best friend! But I am very happy, honoured and challenged! Yes, I am challenged because I would like you to still tell me that I am still your super best friend after you start going to the big school or when you are already a teenager or even when you're already a grown up! I will not worry on that now. Let's take it one step at a time.

You are now at the peak of your terrible twos and can I say this? This is my first time to handle such "craziness" !!!! I can't believe how you've pushed me to my limits hahahaha really testing if I can be as consistent to all the rules. Yes, you did try my patience. But even if there were a lot of reasons to get annoyed or mad or lose it, you had that ability to make our hearts melt. To turn our frowned and angry faces to happy and laughing ones! Remember just last week, Papa was getting annoyed with you and Kuya because you were so noisy at church then out of the blue you just pretended and walked like a zombie! Hahaha I thought your Papa wouldn't give in...but he did ;) You have that special power specially with your Papa. Well, I guess for all of us too :)

Oh I just love it when you say "I love you Mama" or "I love you Papa" or "I love you Tuya" out of the blue! That makes our day sweetheart!

You are one caring and loving sister. At this point, I know that even if you tend to annoy your "Tuya" or grab toys from him, or fight him, deep in your heart, you love him. How can we forget the times when your Kuya was out and didn't sleep at home. You kept telling Papa and Mama that you're sad because you miss your Kuya. You kept on telling us to already fetch your Kuya. And when he got home? Oh the noise and all the commotion that filled the house! Your Papa and I can only look at one another and smile!  You stayed up late so you and your Kuya can catch up with "lost time" and you gave whatever your Kuya asked. You shared every toy and patiently waited for your turn for the ipad or tablet. You like that your Kuya puts his arms around your shoulders when the two of you watch something from the ipad. You get annoyed when he removes his arm! You know how to make lambing to your "Tuya." You also worry when Kuya gets hurt. When you see Kuya crying because he got into trouble with Papa and Mama, you don't take delight in it. You come to him and put your hands on his back, telling him "it's alright, Tuya." Don't worry sweetheart, it's not a one-way thing. Your Kuya loves you more than you can ever imagine. Papa and Mama are assured that if ever something happens to us (touchwood) your "Tuya" will take good care of you.

Like what we have expected, you are one chatterbox! I think I have met my match! Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Kidding aside, taking care of you was not as difficult because you were already able to express what you want, what you need, what you think of things. Yes, you even told Mama not to go to work a LOT of times already because it will make you sad. You already know how and where to hit me, eh? :) I was tongue tied too when you started praying about "my wedding" in our morning prayer time!

The past couple of weeks, your Papa and I were just so amazed with the words you were using to converse with us or with your cousins. You are becoming cleverer by the day! Not only because you are our child but because people around us can really see it. You already know how to rebut an argument (makings of a lawyer?) and yes, you already know how to complain!!!! "That's not fair! I'm tired!"....Are you sure you're only two? Well, we're not the only one asking that question because even total strangers can't also believe that you talk that much for your age! Well, I'm not complaining.

Your Papa and I are just thankful and proud of everything that you have achieved. You were toilet trained as early as 27 months! Well, sometimes, when we're out and Mama doesn't want to get disturbed, I silently wish that you were still wearing a nappy! Oooppps. Last week, we got surprised when you suddenly spelled out your name -- S - A- M. Yes, we knew that weeks before you knew that your name starts with the letter "s" because every time you see it on the newspapers or magazines, you excitedly point it to us and tell us "Look, Mama, that's my name..." And last Saturday, you were able to identify all the letters on Mama's shirt -- JUST DO IT. Sorry, but I underestimated you. I was gobsmacked when you finished. You can count backwards from 10- 0. You can now count from 1- 20. You already know how to figure out things and can sense when Mama is trying to trick you. Well, in return, you try to outsmart me too! Remember when I told you I had to drop you off at child care because your school bell is ringing already? Well, after two weeks, you told me that we had to bring Kuya first to school, because his school bell is already ringing -- yes, you were trying your best not to let Mama bring you to childcare!

You try to overcome your fears especially the first time you were doing swimming lessons without me in the pool with you. But you did it! It's just a start, anak. Life may be cruel sometimes and you just have to face your fears and do it!

Spunky and girly -- two words to describe you at this point. Spunky. Yes, you are a fighter. As early as now we can already see that. In a way, we are relieved because we are living in a country different from where Papa and Mama grew up. We know that it will be an asset in the future. Girly! Oh yes, you have this soft side. hehehe You love playing with your dolls, cooking for them, putting them to sleep. You get angry when Mama becomes too noisy at home or at the car when your babies are asleep. Just thinking, not that I want ok...but you have the makings of  being a good big sister ;)  you like lipsticks, you love dresses -- oh, did  I mention that a couple of months before you turned two, you were already the ones picking up your clothes?!  It's a bit frustrating for me especially that I got used to your Kuya who just wears the clothes I pick for him. Going back to you, you love ballets, leggings, bags and my four-inch heels! Still can't believe you were able to walk on those without tripping! At this point, you're done with Dora. You're slowly shifting to Hello Kitty.You still love Hi-5 and you love to sing and dance to their songs! I think you were inspired to take dancing seriously when you saw your Kuyas and Ates at the KFC - IKV :) You love to paint! You are not afraid to make your hands dirty. You love to explore and imagine things. Keep it up!

There are still some things I think we need to work on -- like your colours, shapes...packing away of toys, sticking to one decision...oooops. Yes, I have my list on that too! But like what I said, we'll take it one day at a time. For now, enjoy your childhood :) We will be here to enjoy it with you.

Yesterday, when you got back from school, you told me, "Mama, Tegan hold my hand in school. She's my best friend!" My world stopped. I panicked! What?! I tried to ask you, "what about me? you told me I was your best friend?" Maybe you sensed my hurt so in trying to make it up to me you immediately said: "Oh, you and Tegan are my best friends!" Ok. That will do for the mean time. But I promise you anak, Mama will try my very best to be worthy of becoming your best friend from today up until I'm old and grey.


Sweetheart, Papa and I can't stop the time. As much as we would want you and your Kuya to stay as lovable, sweet and young that you are now, we can't. All we can do is to enjoy every minute and every opportunity given to us to marvel at your achievements and everything that is part of your journey.

I look forward to our coffee (ok , you're still too young for that)....ice cream dates or shopping dates in the future.

I love you my Sammie.

And yes, you will always be our....my baby girl.

Love and kisses,

Mama

love you forever!

And So It Begins!

And so it begins!

Another chapter of my son's journey starts today.

He is now in Kindy. Yes, the big school!

As you start with this chapter:

We pray you'll find learning fun and enjoyable.

Meet friends you can have for keeps.

Learn about life, inside and outside the four walls of your classroom.

Realize the value of hardwork and perseverance.

Savour the fruits of your labour.

There's no denying, it's time for me and Papa to let go of you some more.

So, go ahead, spread your wings some more and start making good memories. Don't be afraid to make mistakes and try again. They are one of life's best teachers ;)

We're here to support you.

Remember that wherever you may go, Papa, Mama and Sammie are always here for you. We will always be here for you.

We love you, Kuya Liam!

Note: I cried last night and this afternoon. Just a mum,  getting sentimental :)

the night before :)

even the props are all set!

before leaving the house

Waiting for his teacher to collect their class.

first output for the year, which he read by himself. the only one in class who was able to read  it :)

I Did It!

I did it!

Surprisingly, I did.

I thought I wasn't ready for it, I thought we weren't ready for it.

Guess I was wrong.

It was another first for both me (Alvin , too!) and my son, Liam.

As mentioned in my previous post, I decided not to join the rest of my family in the Melbourne, but my son still did. Even if we tried to persuade him up until Wednesday of last week, well, there was really no changing his mind.

Alvin asked me to talk to him Wednesday evening, but at that time, and seeing how eager and excited Liam was for the trip, I felt, we should give it a go. I will miss him, definitely, but I felt it was unfair for him not to go for that reason alone, and because his younger sister didn't want him to join. I just don't want him harboring bad feelings toward his sister, for you know, being a KJ. And it was a chance for him to, hopefully, miss us! hahaha

By Thursday lunch, I was making all the habilins na -- you pray before you sleep, put your dirty clothes in the plastic bags I put inside your luggage, wear your dog tag (withh is address on it), always hold the hand of an adult, drink your vitamins, be a good boy, suncreen and sunnies, hala, the habilins just came! I wonder if he remembered all of it!

I was okay with it. But Thursday night, and probably Liam already realized that it will be the longest time he will be away from us, started crying. Not the crying na atungal, he was just lying down and then he started to sniff and tried to remove the tears from his eyes, without making a big fuss.

That did it for me :( Umiyak din ako :(

The "crying part" didn't even last for 10 minutes hehe. We were both okay. He just asked me to sleep beside him that night and hold his hand.

They left early Friday morning. Sam as soon as she woke up, looked for Liam. I thought she would cry when I told her they already left for Melbourne, but to my relief, she was okay with it. She just kept on telling me every time we go out that we already pick up her brother.

Now, back to my story, my sister-in-law gave me updates every 3 hours hahaha even if I didn't ask for it. Anyway, I called to check up on him and the second time I called, my son already told me, "Just be cool Mum."

Hala! hahaha

So from that time on, I stopped myself from texting and even calling him.

My only relief was seeing his pictures in FB. My Kuya Jay knows me too well because as soon as they started to go places, he took Liam's picture and tagged me straight away in my FB account. That is not my Kuya Jay, but probably he loves me hehehe that's why he did it :)

The four days came quickly and I was an excited mum by Tuesday because they were to arrive around 6pm at our home.

When they arrived I asked my Mum and my siblings how Liam was, and they said they didn't have any problems.

Although during their second night, my sister told me that probably he had a bad dream, because he awoke in the middle of the night and asked her if he can go home already. My sister had to explain to him that it was not possible. Anyway, he didn't cry or anything, he just asked my sister to sleep beside him and hold his hand. End of story.

I was surprised because I didn't become super affected or super sad with him not being around. You know, the feeling as if your world has stopped revolving. Bumaha ng luha or the like. Maybe because I was able to prepare myself mentally and emotionally, and maybe because I still had Sammie. It will be unfair for her if I just sulk, right? I was missing him but I wasn't sad.

And at the end of the day, seeing and hearing him tell us that he really enjoyed and had fun, was more than enough :)

This experience proved that I can really be a tough Mum and that my son  has proven that he can be independent. More than being lonely, I was actually happy and proud of what we have both realized and achieved thru this experience.

As my friend described this experience, "maaga bumitiw sa palda ng nanay...ihanda mo na ang puso mo!"  

Yes, that is what I am definitely doing, because I know that this is just the start, the beginning of many adventures, experiences and choices my son will be making, without me--without us.

So help him God :D

Here are some of the pictures he had during his Melbourne trip:

at the 12 Apostles, St. Patrick's Cathedral, aboard the tram
and at Melbourne Park with his Lolo Jorge

at the Australian Open!
(lucky kid tsk tsk tsk)

more pics at the Australian Open

Sam is Turning Two

Dear Sammie,

Time flies indeed!

I can't believe you will already be two years old  in a few days' time.It  has now been two years, since your birth completed our family, having being given already a boy, oh how we prayed and wished that our second one will be a girl, and it was granted! :) Right from the start, you have been an answered prayer.

I am a proud mum because like your Kuya Liam, you seem to be an early achiever. You continue to amaze us with your little achievements. From the simple "Mama, Papa" to saying sentences now! You can count from 1-10 in order both in English and in Spanish (thanks to Dora!).

You and your Kuya may be similar in some ways but as each day passes, we are convinced that you are becoming a totally different individual, truly unique on your own.

You are one very clever girl. Ang bilis ng pick-up mo, anak. Natuwa and namangha ako nung nasa Gymbaroo tayo last week. We used a scarf at the first session, you seeing it and manipulating for less than five minutes. And come parachute time, you impressed me when you showed me that you remembered the scarf we used earlier. You didn't stop until you saw it. And come pack up time, the teacher only told the instructions once and you were able to follow it, putting the scarf on white basket and your nameplate on the brown one. Galing! :) Sa tingin ko, sa tingin ko lang ha, di ka uber talino, pero you are street-smart. You use your common sense.

Isa kang kikay. Sabi nila mana ka daw sa akin. Hmmm. Di naman masyado hehehe. HIndi naman ako super kikay anak :) Mahilig ka s mga ipit, pero ayaw mong gamitin kasi nasasaktan ka pag nilalagay ko, sensya na anak, mabigat yung kamay ni Mama wehehe. Mahilig ka rin sa mga kolerete. Yung bagong accessory ko, inangkin mo na! Talagang ayaw mo pang ipahiram sa akin! hehehe

Matalinong bata ka, hindi dahil sa anak kita, pero dahil sa mga ginagawa at pinapakita mo. Baka mas maaga ka pang magbasa kesa sa kuya mo. Nakikita ko na ikaw yung tipong gustong nacha-challenge! Kaya mong ipaglaban yung gusto mo. Ngayon pa lang nagtatalo na tayo sa isusuot mo na damit e! Talagang kapag may napili ka na, wala ng makapagpapabago ng isip mo. Di ka na namin mauto ng Papa mo! hehehe :) Barely at two, you already know what you want, especially with clothes and shoes. You know what shows you like to watch, books to read or borrow from the Lib and toys to play. No one can force you. I think that is a good trait anak.

May pagka-OC ka rin. Ngayon pa lang nakikita ko na hahaha. Di lang ako, witness ko si Tita Ellen. Nung minsan nasa bahay nila tayo, pag-gising mo, nakita mo na ang mga sapatos namin e nasa may bandang pintuan, tinanggal mo rin yung sapatos mo at binitbit papunta sa pintuan. Natameme kami pareho ni Tita Ellen mo, kasi walang nagsabi sa iyo na gawin iyon. Ganun ka din sa bahay. Pag nakita mong nakakalat ang sapatos ng Kuya at Papa, sasabihan mo na ilagay sa "Harry Potter"...naku salamat naman! hahaha :) Pati pagkatapos kumain, kahit hindi pa nahugasan, nagpa-pack away ka na! Aprub! hehehe

Kaya mo na rin kumain mag-isa. Oo, madalas, makalat pa rin, pero pasalamat na rin ako kasi independent ka na. Natuto na rin ako na hayaan kang magdungis at tsaka na lang ako maglilinis pagkatapos mong kumain. Nagugulat ang mga nakakakita sa iyo, katulad na lang nung Lunes na nakita ka ng Lolo Romy and Lola Nida. Bilib sila sa iyo anak!

Wala ka pang two, toilet trained ka na! Galing! Kailangan namin tyagain ni Papa at maging pasensyoso sa mga oras na di umabot sa banyo, pero ok lang :) pwede ka ng di mag-nappy sa maghapon! Pero dahil segurista kami, pag nasa labas, nappy muna anak hehehe Pero galing mo, kasi kahit nasa labas tayo, nagsasabi ka na. Tuwa nga teachers mo sa Yogies, kasi wala ka pa ngang two. Samantalang yung ibang bata daw sa Yogies, 2 1/2 na nappy kids pa rin. Sa gabi rin, naka-nappy ka pa, pero pag check ko sa umaga, walang bakas na umihi ka habang tulog. Feeling ko kaya na rin na walang nappy sa gabi, pero di ko muna sasagarin and swerte ko hehehe.

Eto pa ang isa, kaya mo na matulog mag-isa sa kama! Ikaw na nga gumagamit ng kama ng Kuya Liam mo e! Pagkatapos mo magdede kay Mama, pwede ka na namin iwanan mag-isa at ikaw na mismo ang matutulog or magpapatulog sa sarili mo. Syempre, di naman yun araw araw. May mga araw na naglalambing ka sa Papa mo at gusto mo katabi mo siya hanggang makatulog ka. O minsan naman, ang type mo katabi muna, e ako. Yun lang, dapat maganda ang gising mo, kung hindi, ay sus, napakasungit mo.

May topak ka rin daw sabi ng tatay mo hehehe. Minsan nakakatawa ang mga trip mo lalo na pag naglalaro. Galing mo mamilit ng kalaro! "SLeep!" at kailangan nakahiga pa talaga kami! Minsan pag toxic si Mama, nakakainis, pero madalas, natutuwa ako kung paano ka maglaro. Isa ito sa mga pagkakaiba niyo ng Kuya mo. Minsan nakikita kita kung ano ano nilalagay at sinusuot, nakakatawa ang end-product, ang hitsura mo!!! Mamis-miss ko tong mga to pag-laki mo Sammie!

Mataray ka anak, lalo na kung di mo feel or di mo lubusang kakilala yung taong nagpapa-cute sa iyo. Tama yan anak hehehe :) Mahirap magtiwala ng basta basta sa panahon ngayon.

Malambing ka na bata. Ang sarap sarap ng pakiramdam ko kapag out of the blue, sasabihan mo ako ng "I Love You" or "Mahal Kita Mama." Nagsasabi ka rin ng "Thank You at Please."

Nakakagigil ka bulilit. Minsan nakakainis na gigil (kulit mo kasi, lalo na pag pangit ang gising, o topak) pero madalas, nakaktuwa ang gigil ko sa iyo! Sarap mo pisil-pisilin at halik-halikan! :) I'm sure di lang ako ang nanggigil sa iyo!

Ngayon ang favorite mo, Hi-5 at Dora, next year kaya, ano naman? Malalaman natin.
Ngayon, enjoy muna natin ang pagiging 2 years old mo!

Maligayang Kaarawan anak, mahal na mahal ka namin, Sammie!

Love,
Mama

many faces of my Sammie

a collection of your funny antics!

more faces captured in photos

will love you forever Mahal kong Sammie!

Our Sammie is Back!

Whew! Yes, definitely a sign of relief!

Our sweet, bubbly and happy Sammie is back! (touchwood!)

Hubby and I were both relieved to see Sam back to her usual bubbly, happy and malambing self.

Maybe, she was really indeed in pain because she was teething.

I oberved that her upper canine is about to come out and her lower left molar.

I am just relieved! :)

Pinakaba mo kami anak! hehehe

For My Mama's Retirement

Hi Mama, one of your co-teacher actually e-mailed me and asked me if I can prepare something for you for their tribute to retirees. I know this is long overdue since I was not able to prepare something for your 60th. Anyway, I tried to read it myself but it's just too long and the file will be too big for me to send it thru e-mail. So I asked if it's possible that one of your co-teachers to just read my message on my behalf.

When I was taking up my Masters at the Ateneo, one of my professors, Fr. James O' Donnel, S.J. said that teaching is not a profession. It is a vocation. And in this vocation, many are called, but only few are chosen.

 I have only been teaching for ten years and yet sometimes, I have seen myself at a point were I wanted to quit, not because I lack the love for teaching, but because of the challenges that goes with this vocation.

Being a teacher for more than thirty years is one great big achievement and you should be very proud of yourself.  You have been teaching longer than I can remember and althroughout those years of teaching, I can say that you have proven in your own way, that you are one of the chosen few. You really did not pursue to earn a Master's degree or a PhD and put your career at the back seat in favor of us, your family. Through your ways, you have shown us that we are your top priority and for that we are forever grateful. Even if your colleagues were already advancing in their careers, you did not show any sign of insecurity because you know that we your children are your trophies. We, your children, probably would not have excelled and became successful if you made your career your number 1 priority. But not pursuing these degrees does not make you a poor teacher. I believe that being an excellent teacher does not only imply having several degrees under your belt, having numerous teaching awards, handling the top sections or even being the head of the department. Ang sabi nga nila, ang sukatan ng isang magaling na guro ay hindi ang mga plake o tropeo, kung hindi, kung naging matagumpay ba ang mga estudyante mo sa buhay nila. Success here is not defined as having a 5 to 6 digit salary per month, but the kind of individuals or persons your students became after you becoming their teacher.


Mama you didn't only teach your students World History or Economics. I am sure, that just like with us, she you have taught all your students more valuable lessons in life, than knowing the life Napoleon Bonaparte or the  World War 2 or the Law of Supply and Demand. You taught your students to have faith. When things are starting to get tough, cling on to Him, and He will surely take care of you. You  taught your students to have hope. That even the sad and trying days will have an end. You taught your students, through your examples, that you can reach out to others and help even in a very small way. You might have even broken some rules just as so you can help your students. And I believe this is what makes you different from the rest. You are a person with a big heart. You are  not only a teacher to your students, but you were also a mother to most of them. I know, that one way or another, you have inspired them and you have touched their hearts. You have made them better individuals.

 To my Mama, I would like to thank you for choosing to respond to this vocation. You have been an inspiration. I know that your former students, wherever they maybe, will always remember you in their hearts with glee!

I know that your former and present co-teachers can atest too as to how big your heart is! I bet that your presence will surely be missed in the department.

   
Now that you are retired, we continue to pray for good health and long life for you. I know that even if you have stopped working as a teacher, you will always be a teacher at heart and you will continue to touch the hearts and lives of other people, in any way you can. We look forward to seeing you soon here in Sydney.

I love you Mama!

   
Love,


Your Jeana Pot

Respecting Their Feelings

Yesterday, after Sam's swimming lessons, I decided to go to the library which was in the same centre since I didn't have much to do back at home.

After five minutes and reading two books to Sam, I thought it was time to go. When I decided to go home, Sam was just starting to get interested. In other words, she felt she wanted to stay longer in the library to explore.

E makulit ang nanay. I was thinking I didn't bring my library card so no use staying. I carried her against her will. She didn't try but she was saying, "no, no, no Mama. Inside" while pointing to the library as we headed out to the parking lot.

When I put her on her car seat, dun na siya nag-wala. As in, she wasy crying the whole ten minutes from the place up until we reached home.

I didn't lose it, but I felt bad. Naalala ko yung isang article that I read in Attachment Parenting, about parents should learn how to respect their children's emotions.

Para sa atin kasing mga matatanda, since tayo ang matanda, dapat tayo ang masusunod. We forget about what our kids might have felt or might be feeling during the time of the ordeal. Believe it or not, there has been a big improvement when I learned and did the "giving time" approach to Liam. Seldom do I get mad now at Liam or seldom do we argue or him crying because I give him time to finish the activity he is involved with or he is stucked with. I give him allowance, I patiently wait for him to settle and when he is ready to move on. I read that it is one way of respecting them, and true enough, it worked.

So yesterday, I felt that I didn't do it with Sam. She wasn't ready yet. I should have let her stay and respected her time and emotions.

Tayo ngang mga matatanda ayaw ng naiistorbo pag may ginagawa, di ba? Our kids are no different. We just take them for granted because we think everything is okay. And we get mad when there is a violent reaction -- tantrums, etc., on their part. What we do not know is they can already feel different emotions di lang nila kaya pang sabihin ng derecho sa atin.

I promised myself to do better next time. I promised that like what I do with Liam, I will also be more sensible and respectful of the emotions of my little girl.

:D

"My Eyes are Just Wet"

"My eyes are just wet, Mama."

This was what my son told me when he was trying to give an excuse as to why he was sniffing.

But there is no denying, he was crying.

The reason?

Last night, he asked me to tell him bedtime stories. (Papa was busy doing something important for work so he was in the other room. Sam on the other hand, was already sleeping on my chest).

I first chose Hansel and Gretel (because it was the "theme" used last Tuesday in the TV series, Once Upon A Time). It was a bad choice because as soon as I mentioned the word "witch" his mood changed. Now, not to make things worse, I changed the ending of the story and tried to inject the value/lesson of praying -- that the kids were saved because they prayed to Jesus.
After the story, he was better but he told me he was sad because of the witch. So he asked me again to tell him another bedtime story. This time, I chose a Christmas theme. I told him about a story of a Mum who got a letter from Santa that  the work for her little boy's wish of having a big bike for Christmas has begun! Santa told the mum to tell it to her little boy, so he can continue to be good, making the right and sensible choices.

He was laughing and giggling every now and then. I think he had a gut feel that the characters in the story I just told him were me and him. He was excited.

I thought it was enough, but he then requested for a third bedtime story!

Ok, so now I chose the theme of being special.

Here's my story:

Once there was a boy and a girl, they became friends and after a long time of being friends, they got married. They prayed that God will give them a baby. It was April. Then it became June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January, February and then March again! It was almost April again, but still no baby. So they prayed and prayed some more. God told them why the baby was still not given to them. He told them that He is still preparing the special boy He will give them. He was taking his time because this boy  was really special, he will like the Wiggles, then Thomas the Train, when grows up a bit older, he will like Spiderman, the Avengers, Power Rangers and Ben 10. (At this time we has smiling again, but he wasn't interrupting me.) He will be a good boy and a good Kuya. He will be one happy boy! He will make his Papa and Mama proud."

And then there, I heard him (although lights were out already, we had a tea candle lit inside the room). Humihikbi. I asked him if he was okay. I asked him if he was crying.

He said: "I am okay Mama. Mama, my eyes are just wet."

He then gave me a big hug and said "I Love You Mama" while wiping his wet eyes.

I don't know if he knew that the story was again inspired by him. We didn't discuss it anymore after he gave me the goodnight's kiss and said "I Love You."

I didn't force him to tell me and admit to me that he was crying and why he was crying.

I am writing because I am trying to comprehend and make something out from that moment.

I guess, it was one moment that I really can't explain. I, or we, had that feeling that we understood what was happening even if we didn't discuss it.

It was one very touching and tender moment for the two of us.

I hope that my son will remember this, because I will never forget it.

My Sammie is A Gwel

Yes, there is no denying that Sammie is a girl.

As early as now, she has been showing us her femininity.

She likes coloruing in.

She likes music and dance.

She likes dolls. She plays with it like it was the real thing! She puts them to bed and sings for them. She asks us to change their nappies. She likes Elmo the most, treats him like her baby.

She likes playing with tea-sets and knows how to use them.

Truly, boys are different from girls.

My two kids are already proving it. :)

Unexpected Comments

As a mom (and a parent) wouldn't you feel proud if just out of the blue, you get praises and comments for your kids?

The past two weeks, I did. Nakakataba ng puso.

Liam's real teacher in pre-school was away and a casual teacher came in. Dismissal time, I gave him 5 minutes to still play in the school's outdoor playground before heading home. When the bell rang, I asked him to wash his hands first because I saw him playing with soil and wood chips in the garden. So off he went. I followed him. The casual teacher, who I only saw that day, saw me following him. She then asked me if Liam is my son. I nodded and said "yes."

Then came this: " Your son is very good. He was being a leader inside the class. He was acting like a teacher inside the class and the rest followed him. When he stopped, everybody waited until he decided what they will do next. He was leading the class. He was very good."

I was speechless.

The following week, Liam's real teacher Donna told me during our little chat: "Liam was extra good today. He welcomed the new student in class, talking to him and making him feel welcome." Then Liam came and Donna said: "Right Liam? You've been making friends with your new classmate, Mohhamed?" Liam just smiled and bowed his head.

These uguarded moments and unexpected comments from his teachers (or sometimes strangers) are the ones that inspire me and his Papa to do better.

He still has his "topaks" especially when he doesn't get a good afternoon nap, but overall I think Liam is really a beautiful kid, inside and out.

Surprise

The past few days my son has been requesting pancakes for breakfast. We kept on turning him down because we wanted to finish the loaves of bread and scones which were near their best before dates. Last night, I promised him that I'd cook pancakes if mama didn't have work. He was very excited.

I was already solved with the idea that I will have a free day today until my mobile rang before 9 pm. Of course my son got a bit disappointed.

Alvin has a plant visit today in Central Coast and he had to leave early. It was a blessing in disguise because I got to wake up early as well. I had plenty of time in my hands that I decided to surprise Liam and cook pancake for breakfast. And since he already knows how to read, I wrote an I love you note for him and Sam, beside his pancake, which I put on his favourite saucer.

This surprise is enough to send happy hormones to my system!

I hope Liam will be delighted.

Got to go. Time to wake up my little boy  :-)

Bow and Arrow

My boy obviously is now into super heroes, especially after watching the Avengers with his Papa.

He is very much smitten with the bow and arrow that Hawkeye uses. He asked me for the longest time to make him one.

I did. My output made from recycled materials is far from being perfect, but it was enough to put a priceless smile on my son's face.

Happiness!  :-)

My Son Can Now Read!

Yes, all my patience and hardwork has paid off  :-)

Liam can now read on his own. Simple words and simple sentences. He is still not a perfect reader, but he is getting there. I was able to record it but the file is too big for blogger. I was able to upload it though in my Facebook account  :-)

Of course, not everyone gave the thumbs up sign :p who cares? It doesn't matter :)

I just feel proud because it is a personal achievement for both me and my son. I feel a different kind of high seeing him now, comparing him and looking back at how he was when we were just starting. When I hear him read to me, struggle to read the words correctly, sound out each letter top come up with the word and overcome it --all music to my ears. Feel na feel ko ang pagiging nanay, dahil ako ang nagturo sa anak ko magbasa. Sorry, but I won't give credit to his teachers in pre-school and in childcare because formal reading is taught in the big schools. Early childhood education here are all play-based unlike in Manila. Weird, huh?

I know this is only the beginning and it's still a long way for my little boy.But as they say, the first step is usually the hardest, once you've made that, the rest is history.

Another milestone Kuya Liam, reading at the age of 4 years and 4 months :D Another proud moment for both me and your Papa! Great job, Kuya!!!

Looking forward to more reading bonding nights with you.  :-)

Happy 18th!

Times flies! There is really no stopping you (and your Kuya) from growing up!

18 months!

You have achieved a lot of developmental milestones and Papa and Mama are soooo proud of you!

Your latest trick? Super powers!!!! Shiiiing! (with your hands raised pretending like a super hero! That never fails to brighten up our day!!!!

You know how to tell if you have been pushed by Kuya Liam (uh-oh) hehehe

You know and say already a lot of words: spider, flower, fruit, nana (banana), amins (vitamins), tick-tock, no, push.... they are just too many anak, Mama can't remember them all in one sitting.

And just a few days ago, you officially said goodbye to your high chair as you joined me, Papa and Kuya Liam on the big table! You can now sit still and eat by yourself, with very minimal assistance. Bravo!!! Makalat nga lang hahaha But it's okay. Papa and Mama are starting to enjoy our eating time again because we don't have to feed you. You seem to be one independent kid too, just like your Kuya Liam!

Anak, bawasan mo lang ng konti, konti lang, yung tapang at taray mo! Mama might be in trouble! hehehe

Papa and Mama were talking last night and realized that you are no baby anymore! Nakikipaghabulan ka na sa amin, nakikipaglaro sa mga pinsan mo, mahilig makipag-taguan, magtaray, tumili, umaray, tumawa ng malakas, magpatawa! Bata ka na! :C or :D? Both.

We realized that we're done with the hardest past of rasing babies! Hooray!

Thanks for not giving us a hard time anak.

Thank you for adding laughter into our home!

We love you Sammie!

You will always be our bunso.

Mothers' Day 2012

This year since both kids go to childcare, I had additional gifts from them :)

This was from Liam's outputs from Yogies

This was Sam's outputs from Yogies

Another output of Liam from Yogies

And of course, being a mum to Liam and Sam has its other perks. Hubby gave me four new Pandora charms and a new bracelet for the special occasion.

Four more Pandora bracelet charms and a new bracelet :D

Thank you, Liam, Sam and Papa for your presents. They are very much appreciated. But I am already happy with the hugs, kisses, cuddles and I love yous you give me everyday. Not that I'm complaining hehe

I hope you also had your share of beautiful presents, unforgettable moments and stories as you celebrated this special day!

Cheers to all of us mums, single mums, dads who are mums to their kids and grandmas out there! :)

Motherhood is the greatest and most beautiful gift I have ever  received in my life. Just humbled to have been given the chance to experience it.