"Maybe God wants you to stay put."
This was the message I got through my friend Mitch at the time I was stressing myself with the series of unfortunate events that happened the past couple of weeks at home.
When she told me this, it made me stop and reflect. She does have a point. I have been running like a headless chicken the past couple of months, being pre-occupied with work, my accreditation requirements and of course, my duties and responsibilities at home. I know that I can multi-task, but yes, I was pushing myself to my limits.
Baka ako rin naman, sinasabihan na ni Lord, "Time first muna, Jeana."
Well, this message was affirmed when I attended a staff prayer session early Wednesday morning. The reading chosen was taken from Mark 6:30-34. The passage that really struck me was: "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest."
I had goosebumps that morning and became misty-eyed.
Just three years of casual work and yet so much have changed. Before, if I get ONE call in two weeks or once a week, I already feel like it's a miracle. When more opportunities came, I was happy with 3 calls, making sure that my Mondays and Tuesdays remained sacred for Liam and Sam. Now, I feel like I'm not working as a casual anymore because there are weeks when I am working for five days straight! It's like already working full-time!
My time with the kids did get affected, especially Sam. And since I tried to catch up with every opportunity I had, it became physically exhausting for me. If before I found my work as my "relaxing time" well, not anymore, especially if the class I handled for that day is just physically and mentally draining.
Tired from work and tired at home.
I was asking myself what made me accept and accept when before I could easily turn down a call without second thoughts? It's my accreditation. I was trying to meet the 180 days of work requirement so I can already start writing my reports and hopefully submit all the requirements by the end of the school year.
Right now I feel, naagapan. I remember back in college, during my last sem, I was in the same state -- pushing myself too hard until my body gave up. I just collapsed one day and got sick for four days. Right now, I'm feeling a bit under the weather as I strained my voice too much yesterday and the cold (very) weather here is not helping as well. So even if I have a million and one pending house chores over the weekend, I'm stopping and just taking it easy. One day at a time. One chore at a time...because if I don't baka maulit or baka mas malala na ang mangyari and with two kids depending on me, bawal ako magkasakit.
I think God used my kids and my eye as my wake-up call because He knows it will definitely get my attention. Well, it did :)
I'm still worried about my 180 days requirement because I want my accreditation done and over with. But come to think of it, God started to roll the ball and He was the one who made me realize: start fixing you accreditation. So WHY worry now? He is in control. He will take care of everything. Wag daw ako apurado.
Back to basics. Back to my real priorities.
Thanks Mitch for that friendly reminder, you have been an angel in disguise :)
P.S. Mitch is the wife of hubby's fraternity brod. I can't exactly remember the first time we met...binyag ba ni Zach? hehehe We didn't get a lot of opportunities to nurture a "normal" friendship as we only get to see one another on special occasions like weddings and baptisms. It didn't help that my family already migrated here. But despite the distance we kept each other in the loop through FB, blogs, pms and now Instagram. Readings her blogs and through our exchange of emails allowed me to get to know her better. I feel, if we met each other early on, we will definitely the best of friends by now! No kidding! We share a lot of common interests -- reading, blogging, travelling.... I feel we share the same qualities -- organized, OC-OC, among others. Baka kung nasa Manila ako, nagkakape na kami every week! hehe :) I'm not sure if we are of the same age, but if we are, then she is one of the very few friends that I have whose maturity and wisdom I admire a lot :) And I can only wish for our friendship to blossom and be blessed over the next couple of years despite the distance!
