Now, back to my story.
As I have said, my new set of experiences are starting to become a nightmare for me. Day 2 (Sunday around 8am). Still groggy and tired, happy that Alvin with Liam in tow, was now with me. They attached a machine on my legs to prevent blood clot and gave me pain killers. I guess seeing Liam very excited and the pain killers allowed me to survive the day. But not for long, as per hospital rules, visiting hours in the morning are up to 1pm only so Alvin had to bring Liam home by 1pm. (I'll write a different blog regarding Liam and Sam's first encounter). Alvin got back at the hospital at around 3pm already. He stayed there until around 9:30pm though he was allowed to stay until 10pm. I didn't want want him to stay so late because we have another one at home, waiting for him. I didn't want Sam's arrival to be a bad experience for Liam. During the time that Alvin went home up until he came back, I managed because I had pain killers. Though I was still bed-bound due to the machine attached to my feet and of course because of the catheter and dextrose still attached to me. But mind you, at around 930 am, a midwife really asked me to stand up and have a shower already. Again, as I have said, I managed because Alvin was with me.
So when he went home that was when things started getting crazy again. Sam was not as cooperative like she was during the first night. I tried to latch her and she kept on sucking for almost two hours. She'd doze off but when she realizes she has stopped sucking she'll cry all over again. My powers this time was very limited because even if I wanted to cuddle her I still can't. I still can't stand up. I buzzed the nurse for help and it took ages before she got to me (I actually support the demand of midwives and nurses here in NSW one2four campaign because of this experience). When she saw me and saw Sam crying, her first question was: "Are you from the CS section? Why are you not standing up and walking around?" My reaction, though I just kept it to myself was, "hello?! have you been under the knife?!" All I could answer was, I just had my CS in the morning, my dextrose and catheter were still attached to me so even if I wanted to I still can't. And added that I have tried to do everything to settle Sam, including breasfeed her but she is still cranky. Thank heavens she understood me (or probably I really looked terrible already haha) she got Sam and told me that she'll try to settle Sam. If Sam does not settle, they'll give her the formula already since she can see some signs from Sam that she is still hungry. Explaining that even after latching to me for two hours, probably the milk that I had was still not enough. We still didn't have any formula with us and what I brought was the Medela feeding cup (we didn't want to introduce the bottle yet afraid that if we introduce it to her too early she might not latch and feed with me anymore), when I explained all these to the midwife, she told me that they had bottles and formula available so I need not worry. As for the feeding cup story, she just told me that this was a myth so even if I was a bit apprehensive, I gave in. Anyway, I couldn't do anything anymore to settle Sam and her comfort was my priority. But before the midwife left, she told me that tom I should be up and about already. That was around 12am and I was able to rest since Sam was returned to me at 6am. Though I really didn't get a sound sleep as cries of babies will really let you stay up. And I was thinking if it was actually Sam who was crying. But the fact that I was alone and Sam was not with me, did give me the break that I needed. Again, the delivery of our breakfast was our wake-up call (nakakainis kasi Pinoy yung mga nagdedeliver at talagang kalabog to the max ang mga gamit nila!).
Alvin came in a bit late today because Liam and his parents were scheduled to visit us that day. This was Monday. They finally removed the pump attached to my legs and removed my catheter and the dextrose (but still had to wee two times before the needle was pulled out from hand). Finally, freedom! :D Baby Sam got her Hepa B shot and her Hearing Test today, which were both for free. Here's the thing, when one of the midwives asked us up to when do we think will we stay at the hospital, we told her probably around Wednesday, thinking that the Dr has yet to see me and advise us when I can go home. To our surprise, the midwife told us that it was actually US, who called the shots as to when we want to go home! What?! Oh ok. Anyways, if ever we decide to go home, a midwife will still visit me and Sam at home. Alvin stayed with me at the hospital until 8pm only. From 8pm onwards I was again alone in-charge with our little bub. At around 12am (Tuesday, 23 November) I was already exhausted. It was a struggle for me everytime I needed to go to the toilet. Aside from the soreness I felt on the cut that I had, I also had to bring Sam with me everytime I needed to wee. Breastfeeding discomforts were starting as well. I found myself crying already because I felt so alone, tired and overwhelmed by everything that have happened since I gave birth early Sunday morning. I can't stand spending another night like this at the hospital. I just found it really ironic becuase when they ask how I was and I tell them I still felt sore etc., they would reply "It's normal, of course you do, you had a major operation!" but they expect us to move around already and care for our bubs like we just didn't undergo a major operation. Post-natal blues? Probably. WHat kept me sane? Sam. By around 130 am, Sam on the bassinet, I had to walk and get her some formula at the Nursery there I found some "inspiration and strength" seeing other mommies doing exactly what I was doing, feeding, taking charge of their little bub. It gave me the push that I needed, if they can do it, why can't I. That pulled me through until Alvin came back first thing in the morning (I already texted him that I needed him early at the hospital or else I'll go nuts!). He was supposed to pick up Liam after lunch to visit us again but when the Pediatrician and OB already checked on me and Sam (Sam had her Newborn Screening earlier today, again it was for free) an idea came to me -- since the last two medical procedures/checks were already done, I can very much go home! So we asked if it was possible for me to go home already. One midwife didn't allow me to go home and told me that since I was under the Csection, the earliest that I can go home is Wednesday morning. I felt my excitement going down the drain. But the thing here is, there was another midwife who was allowing us to go home and even fixed our house visit for the following day. The two had a little argument but to make the long story short, since the Pedia and the OB stated on my books that I can go home already should I decide to go home, I was allowed to go home. I was so excited and happy! The funny thing was, no one checked our bands (mum and bub's band if it matched) when we got out of the hospital. No security checks whatsoever.
Since going home Tuesday evening, I have slowly regained my strength and I think my recovery (physical and emotional) was better and faster because I was at home. Looking back at what I had to go through it was another opportunity for me to grow as an individual and it allowed me to see what I am capable of doing all for the sake of my little bub. Some people did warn me about this but I didn't expect it was this bad. Maybe the hormones added to my being emotional, but what the heck, this experience taught me lessons again and made me a better (tougher) person. It proved that I can push myself even if it was very hard if it involved my child (children).
In the last 4 days that I was home we have had 2 visits from the midwife and 1 visit from the Community Health nurse. I am re-learning and learning new tricks on parenting and I am only but grateful for this help and support which is easily made available to us, all for free. It is now Saturday and I can't believe that it has been a week since this colorful chapter of my journey has started. I and my husband are now sleep-deprived because of changing nappies, making formula (as a supplement until my milk supply becomes enough for each feed of Sam) and of breastfeeding. Tired, yes! But in the end, when you see your little bub, you come to realize, everything is all worth it!
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
A Whole New Set of Firsts - Part 1
This was my second pregnancy but the exprience presented a lot of whole new firsts for me (and for hubby as well) making this experience totally different from my first one.
Aside from planning (and praying) for this pregnancy, this was my first time to get pregnant in a different place (Australia) with different people of different cultural backgrounds and different practices. When I started with my pre-natal check ups, I already had a feeling that the next nine months will be different. And true enough, aside from hubby not being with me almost all the time (there are no clinics on weekends when he is available) my doctor's sched was only on Tuesdays from 9 am to 11 am, I was also seen in less than 5 minutes for every check up. They do not perform an IE which they normally do in Manila. They do not touch the patient except of course when measuring the fundal height and listening to the Doppler. I specifically chose a Filipina doctor so it will be a lot easier for me and I will feel more at home. But lo and behold, on the day of my check up, two different doctors looked after me. Of couse, I asked towards the end of the session where was my doctor, and I found out that my doctor was already a consultant. She will not meet all the patients, only those who have real pressing problems in the pregnancy will be allowed to see her. Oh okay. Since everything was okay with me, they didn't see any need for me to see her. But in the succeeding sessions, when I had some questions and they were not sure about it, they'd leave me for a couple of minutes in the room to consult with the Filipina doctor. I almost forgot, in the nine months that I had my visits, every 3 or 4 weeks a new doctor was seeing me. It was frustrating on my part towards the end of the pregnancy since I found myself repeating and retelling the story and answers to questions previous doctors have already asked me (when in fact everything is already on my file)! And to top of it all, none of the doctors who saw me will be present on the day of my elective CS! How's that?! WHoever was on duty on the day of my CS will be the one in-charge of my operation, everything that this doctor should know about my case should be on the book/records.
Well, one very good thing about it though is that, in all nine months and my delivery included, we didn't shell out a single centavo! Yup, everything was for free! And for that we are thankful. It is a blessing whatever way you see it. I was just thinking, if I was in Manila I'm pretty sure I'd be working doubly hard to save for the day of my delivery. I wonder how much a CS operation now costs in Manila!
Next set of firsts: it was the first time that I was actually awake when my child was born. I did not do trial labor anymore but since my contractions were becoming more painful and regular and I was just a day away from my scheduled CS they decided to push through with my CS. I chose epidural among the medicines available, it means that only half of my body was numb and I will be awake during the procedure. It was a great experience to see my baby girl fresh out of my womb! Of course there was a feeling of tugging and pulling while being operated on but that is all part of the process. I enjoyed it!
Next, it was the first time that Alvin was with me althroughout the procedure! He saw me when the doctors started punching in those big needles...he saw me during the painful part, he saw baby Sam come out and he did not faint! hehehe I guess this was a bonding experience for the two of us as well as he was able to have a glimpse of what I had to go through (women at that) during childbirth and I think this new experience made him appreciate me more (and women at that) :D
Are you ready for more? Next, during recovery. I realized that after this experience, Mommies in Manila are very lucky because they are pampered! I mean with Liam before, I called the shots. The doctor will wait for you to be well before admitting you on your room, the doctor will give you a choice if you want the baby roomed-in after the birth. Here? Well, the time I spent in recovery was just, are you ready for this? less than 30 minutes! Yes! I was dizzy and all because of the exhaustion and the medicines' effect were starting to wear off...but the doctor kept on insisting that I can't sleep...because if I sleep it will take longer for me to be with my bub! Every five minutes or so the doctor in charge will ask me series of questions, like, can you feel this? Where am I touching you? etc. Feeling so very dizzy and weak I can just manage to nod my head...but she's not happy with that! I need to answer her questions, as in verbally answer her! That was the longest 30 minutes of my life! It was a real torture! After that 30 minutes and the doctor felt that I was ok already she gave instructions that I be put in my room already.
When I got into the room after 5 minutes, Alvin and Sam joined me already. That was around 3am already! I thought that Alvin will already be allowed to stay for the night, but no! AT 3:30 am he had to go home becuase it was the regulation of the hospital! Imagine, I had a major operation, a CS operation, I had 30 minutes of recovery and after that I was already responsible with my baby alone! As in all by myself! I was too tired to get emotional! The first night I was so thankful that Sam cooperated! I wasn't still functioning well and normally so I just cuddled her and slept. She slept on top of me (skin to skin contact which is actually good as well). By 6:30 am I awoke by the banging of utensils, apparently our breakfast is now being delivered. I was struggling because the morphine they gave me was wearing off and one side effect was that I kept on vomitting! Mind you Sam was with me and Alvin was still at home! I was so relieved when Alvin got back to the hospital. At least someone was there to give me the support and help that I truly needed! Things are starting to become a nightmare for me!
Bitin ba? That ends part 1, will share my part 2 next time :D
Aside from planning (and praying) for this pregnancy, this was my first time to get pregnant in a different place (Australia) with different people of different cultural backgrounds and different practices. When I started with my pre-natal check ups, I already had a feeling that the next nine months will be different. And true enough, aside from hubby not being with me almost all the time (there are no clinics on weekends when he is available) my doctor's sched was only on Tuesdays from 9 am to 11 am, I was also seen in less than 5 minutes for every check up. They do not perform an IE which they normally do in Manila. They do not touch the patient except of course when measuring the fundal height and listening to the Doppler. I specifically chose a Filipina doctor so it will be a lot easier for me and I will feel more at home. But lo and behold, on the day of my check up, two different doctors looked after me. Of couse, I asked towards the end of the session where was my doctor, and I found out that my doctor was already a consultant. She will not meet all the patients, only those who have real pressing problems in the pregnancy will be allowed to see her. Oh okay. Since everything was okay with me, they didn't see any need for me to see her. But in the succeeding sessions, when I had some questions and they were not sure about it, they'd leave me for a couple of minutes in the room to consult with the Filipina doctor. I almost forgot, in the nine months that I had my visits, every 3 or 4 weeks a new doctor was seeing me. It was frustrating on my part towards the end of the pregnancy since I found myself repeating and retelling the story and answers to questions previous doctors have already asked me (when in fact everything is already on my file)! And to top of it all, none of the doctors who saw me will be present on the day of my elective CS! How's that?! WHoever was on duty on the day of my CS will be the one in-charge of my operation, everything that this doctor should know about my case should be on the book/records.
Well, one very good thing about it though is that, in all nine months and my delivery included, we didn't shell out a single centavo! Yup, everything was for free! And for that we are thankful. It is a blessing whatever way you see it. I was just thinking, if I was in Manila I'm pretty sure I'd be working doubly hard to save for the day of my delivery. I wonder how much a CS operation now costs in Manila!
Next set of firsts: it was the first time that I was actually awake when my child was born. I did not do trial labor anymore but since my contractions were becoming more painful and regular and I was just a day away from my scheduled CS they decided to push through with my CS. I chose epidural among the medicines available, it means that only half of my body was numb and I will be awake during the procedure. It was a great experience to see my baby girl fresh out of my womb! Of course there was a feeling of tugging and pulling while being operated on but that is all part of the process. I enjoyed it!
Next, it was the first time that Alvin was with me althroughout the procedure! He saw me when the doctors started punching in those big needles...he saw me during the painful part, he saw baby Sam come out and he did not faint! hehehe I guess this was a bonding experience for the two of us as well as he was able to have a glimpse of what I had to go through (women at that) during childbirth and I think this new experience made him appreciate me more (and women at that) :D
Are you ready for more? Next, during recovery. I realized that after this experience, Mommies in Manila are very lucky because they are pampered! I mean with Liam before, I called the shots. The doctor will wait for you to be well before admitting you on your room, the doctor will give you a choice if you want the baby roomed-in after the birth. Here? Well, the time I spent in recovery was just, are you ready for this? less than 30 minutes! Yes! I was dizzy and all because of the exhaustion and the medicines' effect were starting to wear off...but the doctor kept on insisting that I can't sleep...because if I sleep it will take longer for me to be with my bub! Every five minutes or so the doctor in charge will ask me series of questions, like, can you feel this? Where am I touching you? etc. Feeling so very dizzy and weak I can just manage to nod my head...but she's not happy with that! I need to answer her questions, as in verbally answer her! That was the longest 30 minutes of my life! It was a real torture! After that 30 minutes and the doctor felt that I was ok already she gave instructions that I be put in my room already.
When I got into the room after 5 minutes, Alvin and Sam joined me already. That was around 3am already! I thought that Alvin will already be allowed to stay for the night, but no! AT 3:30 am he had to go home becuase it was the regulation of the hospital! Imagine, I had a major operation, a CS operation, I had 30 minutes of recovery and after that I was already responsible with my baby alone! As in all by myself! I was too tired to get emotional! The first night I was so thankful that Sam cooperated! I wasn't still functioning well and normally so I just cuddled her and slept. She slept on top of me (skin to skin contact which is actually good as well). By 6:30 am I awoke by the banging of utensils, apparently our breakfast is now being delivered. I was struggling because the morphine they gave me was wearing off and one side effect was that I kept on vomitting! Mind you Sam was with me and Alvin was still at home! I was so relieved when Alvin got back to the hospital. At least someone was there to give me the support and help that I truly needed! Things are starting to become a nightmare for me!
Bitin ba? That ends part 1, will share my part 2 next time :D
Saturday, November 20, 2010
prayers granted
I told you in one of my previous blogs that I will be updating you once something comes up...well, for one, Santa (oh the good Lord!) has granted my Christmas wish number one! Last Thursday, Alvin received the good news that his contract with BAT was extended! Thank you Lord, another answered prayer! And just like what I have written, once wish number 1 has been granted, wishes 2 to 4 will most probably be granted as well. But I am in no hurry. Even if I receive those gifts after Christmas, it will be perfectly fine with me.
Now my focus is to just give birth. All is set on Monday, the 22nd, 8am Sydney time (5am Manila time) and I know that once I step on the hospital grounds on Monday morning it will be the start of a whole new adventure! I have prayed that Sam comes out early, I was thinking that since Liam came out two weeks in advance, she might as well do the same. But no, I think Sam has decided to stay and wait for the day. Sometimes I find myself why this is taking too long and honestly I have been grunting already! Well, it was only in the last two days that I became cool about this whole waiting game...a little voice was telling me that I have to rest my worries first. Yes, up to this point, it is a struggle for me to rest my worries especially for the people whom I will be leaving at home, while I'm at the hospital. I worry for them, I worry for my son, I worry for my home. Talk about being a worry wart all over again! Well, can you blame me? I'm a mom and a wife! It was a good thing that was finally able to release my worries to my husband last night, I shared to him my thoughts and feelings of going to the hospital. His assurance that they will manage and they can live while I'm at the hospital made things better for me. Him telling me to make the most out of the time I'm at the hospital has assured me as well.
Well, so far so good. I think this Christmas will be a different Christmas and I better get ready as I officially start another colorful phase of my journey!
Now my focus is to just give birth. All is set on Monday, the 22nd, 8am Sydney time (5am Manila time) and I know that once I step on the hospital grounds on Monday morning it will be the start of a whole new adventure! I have prayed that Sam comes out early, I was thinking that since Liam came out two weeks in advance, she might as well do the same. But no, I think Sam has decided to stay and wait for the day. Sometimes I find myself why this is taking too long and honestly I have been grunting already! Well, it was only in the last two days that I became cool about this whole waiting game...a little voice was telling me that I have to rest my worries first. Yes, up to this point, it is a struggle for me to rest my worries especially for the people whom I will be leaving at home, while I'm at the hospital. I worry for them, I worry for my son, I worry for my home. Talk about being a worry wart all over again! Well, can you blame me? I'm a mom and a wife! It was a good thing that was finally able to release my worries to my husband last night, I shared to him my thoughts and feelings of going to the hospital. His assurance that they will manage and they can live while I'm at the hospital made things better for me. Him telling me to make the most out of the time I'm at the hospital has assured me as well.
Well, so far so good. I think this Christmas will be a different Christmas and I better get ready as I officially start another colorful phase of my journey!
Monday, November 15, 2010
etc., etc., etc.
Today is Monday. In one week's time, I'm scheduled to have my CS operation already for Baby Samantha. Wow, I got thru the last 9 months! What a journey it has been! Now while passing the time what have I been doing? Well all sorts of crazy things just as long as I can still physically manage it.
Well, this blog about my random thoughts again...one of the things I do while waiting for the big day...
it seems that wish number 3 will be granted! woohoo! alvin has already downloaded the manual of 3 camcorder models and he's comparing the specs already! everytime he does this, i'm pretty sure we'll end up buying the item...it's a practice he does just before buying an electronic budget woohoo!
it's been so freakin HOT the past days and it is such a relief that today it rained the entire day! of course, it's not actually a good day to do laundry (but we still did it anyway)...but who cares! I cherish the fact that I can sleep comfortably again tonight!
Manny Paquiao has a heart. I am no boxing fan but after watching his game with Margarito yesterday, I really admired him. I actually admired him for wanting to stop the game and deliberately slowing down towards the end of the game because he can already see the pain in his opponent's face! Way to go Manny!
tomorrow, I will have my last pre-natal check up and hubby will finally get to be with me! yehey!
liam played Wii with his cousins yesterday after the grown ups watched the fight of Manny P. and his Papa was so amused, he called me to let me see how Liam was doing, well, I think he called me because he had an different agenda, for me to see that Liam is enjoying the game and I might reconsider the decision of not having or buying a Wii or a play station at home, so my reaction? Asa ka pa! hehehe
just some of the things I wanted to share as I await for the BIG day...and when the big Day comes I am not sure how often I can still write on my blog :D
Well, this blog about my random thoughts again...one of the things I do while waiting for the big day...
it seems that wish number 3 will be granted! woohoo! alvin has already downloaded the manual of 3 camcorder models and he's comparing the specs already! everytime he does this, i'm pretty sure we'll end up buying the item...it's a practice he does just before buying an electronic budget woohoo!
it's been so freakin HOT the past days and it is such a relief that today it rained the entire day! of course, it's not actually a good day to do laundry (but we still did it anyway)...but who cares! I cherish the fact that I can sleep comfortably again tonight!
Manny Paquiao has a heart. I am no boxing fan but after watching his game with Margarito yesterday, I really admired him. I actually admired him for wanting to stop the game and deliberately slowing down towards the end of the game because he can already see the pain in his opponent's face! Way to go Manny!
tomorrow, I will have my last pre-natal check up and hubby will finally get to be with me! yehey!
liam played Wii with his cousins yesterday after the grown ups watched the fight of Manny P. and his Papa was so amused, he called me to let me see how Liam was doing, well, I think he called me because he had an different agenda, for me to see that Liam is enjoying the game and I might reconsider the decision of not having or buying a Wii or a play station at home, so my reaction? Asa ka pa! hehehe
just some of the things I wanted to share as I await for the BIG day...and when the big Day comes I am not sure how often I can still write on my blog :D
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Christmas Wishes (and Prayers)
Hmmm, who ever said Christmas wishes are only for kids? Well, if my Liam wants a toy piano this coming Christmas (which he will get), why can't I share my Christmas wishes as well? It's actually somewhere in between a Christmas wish and a Christmas prayer. As an adult, I do know that I may wish and pray all I want but I have no assurance that I will get all -- and I am very much okay with that. After all, it's free to wish, right?
So here it goes. I only want four things for Christmas:
First, a new job or an extension of my hubby's contract with BAT. His present contract expires on 19 December and there is a possibility that he will get another extension (as per our discussion last night), which we are both thankful for. If this thing does not push thru, there is another job offer waiting, still with a big and a well-established FMCG company, which is very near our place, unlike BAT. Now, whichever of the two will be given to us, we will be very thankful and grateful.
Second, another car for my family. Yes, the family is getting bigger and by the time Sam comes out, we won't fit in our car anymore. We are thinking of buying our first family car -- a seven-seater car -- which we can use with the Lolos and Lolas when they visit here. Of course, we'll still be keeping the first car that we have. It will be of great help to us, and to me especially, if I get to use any of the cars available, especially when my in-laws are back in Manila. A brand new car or a second-hand car? Does not really matter, it will all depend on God's (oh this is Christmas wishes right, so I better use Santa :D) answer or decision on wish number one.
Third, a new cam corder. Liam is fast growing up and Sam will soon join us. Yes, our mobile phones comes in very handy in documenting the milestones of our children during unguarded moments but I would want to document special occasions like school programs and the like using an appropriate equipment. Of course, Alvin wants a good quality of cam corder already which he can use with his hi-tech LCD TV. This area I leave it all to him, being a tech-ie guy. We can actually buy now, but we wouldn't want to touch on our savings, yet, until we have received a definite answer for wish number 1.
Lastly, a piece of jewelry for myself. I have invested a couple of pieces but everytime I see the catalogues, almost every week, I can't help but I wish I can buy one and add to my collection. I don't have much because even if they are a good investment, my heart tells me, in the end, I can't bring them all when I die. It might even be a cause of arguments or conflicts when I die. I would just like to add a piece or two on my collection for special occasions. Again, I can already buy one, but priorities will have to take place. And who knows, hubby might surprise me with one (but I doubt it, he is also not keen in investing on pieces of jewelry).
There you go, my four simple Christmas wishes. As you can see, wishes 2 to 4 all depend on wish number 1. If God grants wish number 1, there is a higher chance that I can also get the three other wishes. So bottomline, I hope Santa grants wish number 1! hehehe
Will I get all? Let's wait and see :D
So here it goes. I only want four things for Christmas:
First, a new job or an extension of my hubby's contract with BAT. His present contract expires on 19 December and there is a possibility that he will get another extension (as per our discussion last night), which we are both thankful for. If this thing does not push thru, there is another job offer waiting, still with a big and a well-established FMCG company, which is very near our place, unlike BAT. Now, whichever of the two will be given to us, we will be very thankful and grateful.
Second, another car for my family. Yes, the family is getting bigger and by the time Sam comes out, we won't fit in our car anymore. We are thinking of buying our first family car -- a seven-seater car -- which we can use with the Lolos and Lolas when they visit here. Of course, we'll still be keeping the first car that we have. It will be of great help to us, and to me especially, if I get to use any of the cars available, especially when my in-laws are back in Manila. A brand new car or a second-hand car? Does not really matter, it will all depend on God's (oh this is Christmas wishes right, so I better use Santa :D) answer or decision on wish number one.
Third, a new cam corder. Liam is fast growing up and Sam will soon join us. Yes, our mobile phones comes in very handy in documenting the milestones of our children during unguarded moments but I would want to document special occasions like school programs and the like using an appropriate equipment. Of course, Alvin wants a good quality of cam corder already which he can use with his hi-tech LCD TV. This area I leave it all to him, being a tech-ie guy. We can actually buy now, but we wouldn't want to touch on our savings, yet, until we have received a definite answer for wish number 1.
Lastly, a piece of jewelry for myself. I have invested a couple of pieces but everytime I see the catalogues, almost every week, I can't help but I wish I can buy one and add to my collection. I don't have much because even if they are a good investment, my heart tells me, in the end, I can't bring them all when I die. It might even be a cause of arguments or conflicts when I die. I would just like to add a piece or two on my collection for special occasions. Again, I can already buy one, but priorities will have to take place. And who knows, hubby might surprise me with one (but I doubt it, he is also not keen in investing on pieces of jewelry).
There you go, my four simple Christmas wishes. As you can see, wishes 2 to 4 all depend on wish number 1. If God grants wish number 1, there is a higher chance that I can also get the three other wishes. So bottomline, I hope Santa grants wish number 1! hehehe
Will I get all? Let's wait and see :D
Monday, November 8, 2010
Harmless Friendships?
Last week, while waiting for my turn on my usual pre-natal check-up, I chanced upon something interesting in the book I was reading. I was reading "Committed" by Elizabeth Gilbert (also of Eat.Pray.Love). I wanted to share it with Alvin right away but I had to wait until yesterday for me to read it to him. We were having a lazy Sunday afternoon and I really enjoyed our conversation, and our exchange of insights on the topic that I have just read to him.
So I'm posting that part of the book and hopefully, married people like us, can be more cautious when we form new friendships or continue to enrich "harmless friendships."
"But Glass, in her research, discovered that if you dig a little deeper into people's infidelities, you can almost always see how the affair started long before the first stolen kiss. Most affairs, begin, Glass wrote, when a husband or a wife makes a new friend, and an apparently harmless intimacy is born. You don't sense the danger as it's happening, because what is wrong with friendship? Why can't we have friends of the opposite sex -- or of the same sex, for that matter -- even if we are married?
The answer,as Dr. Glass explained, is that, nothing is wrong with a married person launching a friendship outside matrimony -- so as long as the "walls and windows" of the relationship remain in the correct places. It was Glass's theory that every healthy marriage is composed of walls and windows. The windows are the aspects of your relationship that are open to the world -- that is, the necessary gaps through which you interact with family and friends; the walls are the barriers of trust which you guard the most intimate secrets of your marriage.
What often happens, though, during so-called harmless friendships, is that you begin sharing intimacies with your new friend that belong hidden in your marriage. You reveal secrets about yourself -- your deepest yearnings and frustrations-- and it feels good to be so exposed. You throw open a window where there really ought to be a solid, weight-bearing wall, and soon you find yourself spilling out your secret heart with this new person. Not wanting your spouse to feel jealous, you keep the details of your new friendship hidden. In so doing, you have now created a problem: You have just built a wall between you and your spouse, where there ought to be free circulation of air and light. The entire architecture of your matrimonal intimacy has therefore been re-arranged. Every old wall is now a giant picture window; every old window is now boarded up like a crack house. You have just established the perfect blueprint for infidelity without even noticing."
"And it's true. You didn't see it coming. But you did build it and you could have stopped it if you'd acted faster. The moment you found yourself sharing secrets with a new friend that really ought to have belonged to your spouse, there was, according to Dr. Glass, a much smarter and more honest oath to be taken."
--from Committed, by Elizabeth Gilbert (Bloomsbury Publishing, Copyright 2010)
Now, what am I driving at? Well many thoughts came into my mind, the piece does not only refer to the hubbys (although, personally, I think that men, are more prone to having affairs within a marriage), wives can very much commit the mistake or fall into the trap as well (especially in cases where the wife discovers shortly after marriage that she really doesn't know the person she got married to...or in cases where the "truth" finally is discovered and the wife becomes disillusioned). Maybe, unlike with the males, the females are more "discreet" about what they feel towards a new male friend, afraid of what society might "label" them. Aside from this, divorce or separations are not as popular in our culture so even if the wife or hubby does feel something for the new friend, most of the time, they probabaly just keep it to themselves or they stick it out with the person they married until the end.
So does this mean we should all be paranoid with the old and new formed friendships with the opposite sex? I don't think so. Does this mean, we have to be on guard of our spouses (and ourselves at that) on the old and new friendships they (and we) have with the opposite sex? Probably. It was just actually a good read for me. It was one of the things Liz Gilbert and Felipe discussed first before they plunged into marriage, and I think, it's a good one. Well, if you are married or planning to get married, I also think, it's not yet too late to have a good discussion on each other's insights regarding this matter. I am no love guru but I think the point of all these is not only about love but more so of trust and how you can continue to protect the "walls and windows" of your marriage despite the so many temptations around us. Marriage, after all, is HARDWORK.
So I'm posting that part of the book and hopefully, married people like us, can be more cautious when we form new friendships or continue to enrich "harmless friendships."
"But Glass, in her research, discovered that if you dig a little deeper into people's infidelities, you can almost always see how the affair started long before the first stolen kiss. Most affairs, begin, Glass wrote, when a husband or a wife makes a new friend, and an apparently harmless intimacy is born. You don't sense the danger as it's happening, because what is wrong with friendship? Why can't we have friends of the opposite sex -- or of the same sex, for that matter -- even if we are married?
The answer,as Dr. Glass explained, is that, nothing is wrong with a married person launching a friendship outside matrimony -- so as long as the "walls and windows" of the relationship remain in the correct places. It was Glass's theory that every healthy marriage is composed of walls and windows. The windows are the aspects of your relationship that are open to the world -- that is, the necessary gaps through which you interact with family and friends; the walls are the barriers of trust which you guard the most intimate secrets of your marriage.
What often happens, though, during so-called harmless friendships, is that you begin sharing intimacies with your new friend that belong hidden in your marriage. You reveal secrets about yourself -- your deepest yearnings and frustrations-- and it feels good to be so exposed. You throw open a window where there really ought to be a solid, weight-bearing wall, and soon you find yourself spilling out your secret heart with this new person. Not wanting your spouse to feel jealous, you keep the details of your new friendship hidden. In so doing, you have now created a problem: You have just built a wall between you and your spouse, where there ought to be free circulation of air and light. The entire architecture of your matrimonal intimacy has therefore been re-arranged. Every old wall is now a giant picture window; every old window is now boarded up like a crack house. You have just established the perfect blueprint for infidelity without even noticing."
"And it's true. You didn't see it coming. But you did build it and you could have stopped it if you'd acted faster. The moment you found yourself sharing secrets with a new friend that really ought to have belonged to your spouse, there was, according to Dr. Glass, a much smarter and more honest oath to be taken."
--from Committed, by Elizabeth Gilbert (Bloomsbury Publishing, Copyright 2010)
Now, what am I driving at? Well many thoughts came into my mind, the piece does not only refer to the hubbys (although, personally, I think that men, are more prone to having affairs within a marriage), wives can very much commit the mistake or fall into the trap as well (especially in cases where the wife discovers shortly after marriage that she really doesn't know the person she got married to...or in cases where the "truth" finally is discovered and the wife becomes disillusioned). Maybe, unlike with the males, the females are more "discreet" about what they feel towards a new male friend, afraid of what society might "label" them. Aside from this, divorce or separations are not as popular in our culture so even if the wife or hubby does feel something for the new friend, most of the time, they probabaly just keep it to themselves or they stick it out with the person they married until the end.
So does this mean we should all be paranoid with the old and new formed friendships with the opposite sex? I don't think so. Does this mean, we have to be on guard of our spouses (and ourselves at that) on the old and new friendships they (and we) have with the opposite sex? Probably. It was just actually a good read for me. It was one of the things Liz Gilbert and Felipe discussed first before they plunged into marriage, and I think, it's a good one. Well, if you are married or planning to get married, I also think, it's not yet too late to have a good discussion on each other's insights regarding this matter. I am no love guru but I think the point of all these is not only about love but more so of trust and how you can continue to protect the "walls and windows" of your marriage despite the so many temptations around us. Marriage, after all, is HARDWORK.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Celebrations!
The past few days have been joyful and busy...and the comings weeks as well.
Last Saturday, there were many reasons to celebrate. One, it was Halloween and Liam was again in his costume. Last year, he was an angel. This year he was a Dracula.He was so "game" as shown in his pictures, he knows when to act in front of the camera and have his monster face! I loved taking his photos!
Two, last Saturday, it was a triple celebration -- Halloween Party for the CFC kids, my baby shower and my 32nd birthday. The weather cooperated. We were thankful that even if it did drizzle a little, the weather was not as rainy as they predicted it to be. And even if our home was just too little for all the well-wishers, I think everyone enjoyed the celebrations.
Third, the next day, Sunday, it was my Kuya's turn to celebrate (and treat us). We went to Parramatta and ate at Carne Station, a Korean BBQ Buffet Place. Ate a lot! Burp! The gang of 6 had a blast!
Now, it's November already! Christmas is just around the corner and on the first day of November, we decided to put up our Christmas tree and some Christmas decors! Liam is sooo excited!
And finally, 21 days froms now (or less), we will have our second bundle of joy, Andrea Samantha! No pictures to be posted yet. But as soon as she's here, you'll see her right away.
I am happy because these celebrations are all reflections of God's blessings! Looking forward to the coming days and the future celebrations!
Last Saturday, there were many reasons to celebrate. One, it was Halloween and Liam was again in his costume. Last year, he was an angel. This year he was a Dracula.He was so "game" as shown in his pictures, he knows when to act in front of the camera and have his monster face! I loved taking his photos!
Two, last Saturday, it was a triple celebration -- Halloween Party for the CFC kids, my baby shower and my 32nd birthday. The weather cooperated. We were thankful that even if it did drizzle a little, the weather was not as rainy as they predicted it to be. And even if our home was just too little for all the well-wishers, I think everyone enjoyed the celebrations.
Third, the next day, Sunday, it was my Kuya's turn to celebrate (and treat us). We went to Parramatta and ate at Carne Station, a Korean BBQ Buffet Place. Ate a lot! Burp! The gang of 6 had a blast!
Now, it's November already! Christmas is just around the corner and on the first day of November, we decided to put up our Christmas tree and some Christmas decors! Liam is sooo excited!
And finally, 21 days froms now (or less), we will have our second bundle of joy, Andrea Samantha! No pictures to be posted yet. But as soon as she's here, you'll see her right away.
I am happy because these celebrations are all reflections of God's blessings! Looking forward to the coming days and the future celebrations!
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