Liam 5 .5

Kuya!!!!!

My dear Kuya! 2013 is half-way thru and it only means that you're now five and a half years old! I plan to continue writing letters to you and your sister every year. I am more excited knowing that you can already read a lot of words with ease and you can easily read now my letter for you.

Happy ka na no? You're too excited to turn six years old because you're excited to start losing your teeth-- your baby teeth, not for any other reason, but because you're eagerly awaiting what the Tooth Fairy will be giving you. How much the Tooth Fairy will be giving you!

Well, before you turn six years old, allow me again to write to you the highlights of the year as I remember them. I might miss some again, but hopefully I don't miss out on the big ones.

Early this year, we went to my friend's house with your Lolo and Lola. Unfortunately, their child who cannot still speak well was so "violent" when you guys played together. Nakita ko at ng mga Lolo at Lola mo, kung pano ka nagpigil kahit sinapok sapok ka na at sinakal nung batang kalaro mo. Ilang beses ka binatukan pero di mo siya pinatulan. Nagpigil din kami ni Papa. When I talked to you about it in the car, you told me: "Yes, I was about to cry Mama but I stopped myself. He is younger than me." You gained my respect that night, anak. I was very proud of you. Yes, he is the same age as your sister, but technically you are still a kid too, and you could've easily hurt him, grabbed the toys he grabbed from you or cried or tell him in to his parents every time he hit you. But you didn't. You totally controlled yourself. Bravo, anak!

This year, you started attending the big school and boy, did you like it! No, make that, LOVE it! You brought home your first Blue Award on the second day of school! Earned 15 Blue Awards for the first  two terms and earned an Assistant Principal's Award after one semester. You really do continue to make me and your Papa really proud. Your initial reading level is at Level 10 whereas most of my Kindy students can't even read Level 2 books! You were one of the students chosen by your teacher to read the longest parts during the Kindy assembly when your class was the host! Galing galing ng stage presence! And I saw how you tried to overcome reading and pronouncing the difficult words like "cooperative" until you mastered and perfected it. Good habits anak, keep it up!

You love to write and you eagerly share your story especially on Monday afternoons after you have written your Recount in school. Now on school holidays, I saw how interested you are in writing. Hindi na pwede i-claim ng Papa mo yang area na yan! Yung Math, fine sa kanya na, pero ang writing? Sa akin na yun! hehehe Keep it up anak. Continue to improve yourself on the things that you love to do.

Yes, initially we had little arguments as we tried to establish your study habits -- doing homework, etc. -- but by and by you got the hang of it. Now, you can pace yourself well, not doing a lot on day one and not being too relaxed too.

But I think I still need to follow up your skills in packing up your things especially after doing your homework. ;-)

There was one major event that happened early this year when I saw how high your EQ was. I was called at work to fetch you from school because you were ill. I was in a dilemma because it was my first day back at work after all the cancellations I made the week before. To make the long story short, when I arrived to finally pick you up, I was expecting you'd cry as soon as you see me or that you'd be panicking already after the long wait you did...but no. You were composed. You had grace under pressure. Ako pa nga yung na tense and naiyak. Ikaw pa yung concerned if I was okay to think ikaw yung may sakit. I wish I had the same anak.

You have become more independent and I am now assured wala akong magiging problema when your sister starts big school. Kasi ngayon pa lang, kaya mo na alagaan sarili mo e.

At home, you and your sister have your episodes, aso't pusa moments, but when you've had a good afternoon nap or night's rest, you willingly give way and spoil your sister. Yung requests and whims ng kapatid mo, pinagbibigyan mo. Pag bati kayo ng kapatid mo ang saya-saya namin ng Papa mo kasi grabe yung level ng kulitan niyo ni Sammie e! Wrestling, habulan, hay!

May mga cheeky moments ka rin. Like one time I caught you making faces and trying to imitate me while I was lecturing you about something! Lokong bata! Pero natawa kami ng Papa mo. Anak, please be patient with Mama and Papa when we lecture you and re-instill values we want you to grow up with. Mahaba-haba pa ang lalakbayin natin. You're only 5 years old!

Papa and I observed that for a time you were getting addicted to the gadgets at home. There was one incident when Papa told you during one of your silly moments that you MIGHT not be allowed to use the tablet or iPad anymore, we were surprised when you actually followed it and reminded me about it when we got home and I told you to use the iPad first so you won't be bored anymore. Your exact words: "Mama, Papa said I can't use the tablet or iPad." When I told the story to your Papa, pati siya nagulat kasi he was just using it para "umayos" ka...not really serious about it. But well, because of that you proved that we can trust you. Now, even after Papa and I decided that no gadgets, iPads or Xbox from Sunday night up until Thursday night, you have no BIG issues about it. Well, sometimes you do, but when we explain things, you follow kahit labag sa kalooban mo hehehe :) Anyway, sometimes you get exemptions especially after you did good in school or at home. :-)

Lunch orders were part of your prize for getting Blue Awards but one time, after you brought home one Blue Award after the other, I joked about having no money anymore for your lunch order. You know what your reply was? "Mama, it's okay. I won't have lunch order anymore." Syempre, natameme na naman ako. Na-guilty tuloy ako. Instead of buying my lunch at school I decided to just prepare my lunch at home. Kung ikaw nga nagtitipid, e di ako din.

Your personality is still evolving. Ngayon, ayaw mo na ako halikan sa harap ng mga schoolmates mo huhuhu dami mo ng tanong...you have the tendency to compare yourself or our family with others...it's something that we will be working on...it's something we will be praying for. Remember what I always tell you, you don't have to do or you don't have to have what other people do or what other people have. God will give you what you need and what is best for you. Speaking of which, around March or April of this year, you learned how to pray the Rosary. I am happy anak. When Ben was blessed by Fr. Ruben, he was surprised when he heard you recite the prayers with ease. Another new fan! :-)

When my left eye got injured, you were so concerned. You always reminded your sister that I was not well and willingly did errands one of which was being my guide everytime I moved around the house especially when I go up or down the stairs.

I hope that as you grow older and even if you see other kids doing things that your Papa and I do not permit you to do, you'd stick with our rules. I hope that you'll continue to mature in a responsible and good way. I hope too that you'd not grow up so fast! Don't wish to grow up and get old quickly, enjoy your childhood anak.

I know that we've told you a lot of times how lucky you are for having to enjoy a lot of things that your Papa and I only got to enjoy when we were working already! Kaya, appreciate everything that you have now anak.

Hopefully, as you get older, we can instill in you the value of hardwork, love for work,  giving your best and never giving up especially now na mas marami ka ng naiintindihan :-)

Thank you anak for being you.

Till my next love letter.

I love you Kuya!

Love,
Mama

My Clever Sammie

My Dear Sammie,

In a couple of days you will already turn 2 and a half years old! Wow! Where did time go?

Like what I did before with your Kuya, I am taking a break from all my worries, to sit down and write to you. I would like to capture in words everything that you are now...hoping that when you are a bit older and able to read on your own, you have something to remind you of how you were at this stage of your life.

They say that fathers and daughters have a different kind of connection. Usually, the daughters are closer with their fathers as compared to their mothers. But looking at the last couple of months, I don't think that applies to us. Two weeks ago, out of the blue, you just told me: "Mama, you're my best friend! My super best friend!" Yes. It melted my heart and made your Papa jealous! hahahaha :)

You are definitely the family's baby. But, am I already babying you too much? On my end I think I don't. You have had your share of time-outs and a little spanking, of a LOT of reprimanding especially from me! So I don't know what made you decide to make me as your super best friend! But I am very happy, honoured and challenged! Yes, I am challenged because I would like you to still tell me that I am still your super best friend after you start going to the big school or when you are already a teenager or even when you're already a grown up! I will not worry on that now. Let's take it one step at a time.

You are now at the peak of your terrible twos and can I say this? This is my first time to handle such "craziness" !!!! I can't believe how you've pushed me to my limits hahahaha really testing if I can be as consistent to all the rules. Yes, you did try my patience. But even if there were a lot of reasons to get annoyed or mad or lose it, you had that ability to make our hearts melt. To turn our frowned and angry faces to happy and laughing ones! Remember just last week, Papa was getting annoyed with you and Kuya because you were so noisy at church then out of the blue you just pretended and walked like a zombie! Hahaha I thought your Papa wouldn't give in...but he did ;) You have that special power specially with your Papa. Well, I guess for all of us too :)

Oh I just love it when you say "I love you Mama" or "I love you Papa" or "I love you Tuya" out of the blue! That makes our day sweetheart!

You are one caring and loving sister. At this point, I know that even if you tend to annoy your "Tuya" or grab toys from him, or fight him, deep in your heart, you love him. How can we forget the times when your Kuya was out and didn't sleep at home. You kept telling Papa and Mama that you're sad because you miss your Kuya. You kept on telling us to already fetch your Kuya. And when he got home? Oh the noise and all the commotion that filled the house! Your Papa and I can only look at one another and smile!  You stayed up late so you and your Kuya can catch up with "lost time" and you gave whatever your Kuya asked. You shared every toy and patiently waited for your turn for the ipad or tablet. You like that your Kuya puts his arms around your shoulders when the two of you watch something from the ipad. You get annoyed when he removes his arm! You know how to make lambing to your "Tuya." You also worry when Kuya gets hurt. When you see Kuya crying because he got into trouble with Papa and Mama, you don't take delight in it. You come to him and put your hands on his back, telling him "it's alright, Tuya." Don't worry sweetheart, it's not a one-way thing. Your Kuya loves you more than you can ever imagine. Papa and Mama are assured that if ever something happens to us (touchwood) your "Tuya" will take good care of you.

Like what we have expected, you are one chatterbox! I think I have met my match! Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Kidding aside, taking care of you was not as difficult because you were already able to express what you want, what you need, what you think of things. Yes, you even told Mama not to go to work a LOT of times already because it will make you sad. You already know how and where to hit me, eh? :) I was tongue tied too when you started praying about "my wedding" in our morning prayer time!

The past couple of weeks, your Papa and I were just so amazed with the words you were using to converse with us or with your cousins. You are becoming cleverer by the day! Not only because you are our child but because people around us can really see it. You already know how to rebut an argument (makings of a lawyer?) and yes, you already know how to complain!!!! "That's not fair! I'm tired!"....Are you sure you're only two? Well, we're not the only one asking that question because even total strangers can't also believe that you talk that much for your age! Well, I'm not complaining.

Your Papa and I are just thankful and proud of everything that you have achieved. You were toilet trained as early as 27 months! Well, sometimes, when we're out and Mama doesn't want to get disturbed, I silently wish that you were still wearing a nappy! Oooppps. Last week, we got surprised when you suddenly spelled out your name -- S - A- M. Yes, we knew that weeks before you knew that your name starts with the letter "s" because every time you see it on the newspapers or magazines, you excitedly point it to us and tell us "Look, Mama, that's my name..." And last Saturday, you were able to identify all the letters on Mama's shirt -- JUST DO IT. Sorry, but I underestimated you. I was gobsmacked when you finished. You can count backwards from 10- 0. You can now count from 1- 20. You already know how to figure out things and can sense when Mama is trying to trick you. Well, in return, you try to outsmart me too! Remember when I told you I had to drop you off at child care because your school bell is ringing already? Well, after two weeks, you told me that we had to bring Kuya first to school, because his school bell is already ringing -- yes, you were trying your best not to let Mama bring you to childcare!

You try to overcome your fears especially the first time you were doing swimming lessons without me in the pool with you. But you did it! It's just a start, anak. Life may be cruel sometimes and you just have to face your fears and do it!

Spunky and girly -- two words to describe you at this point. Spunky. Yes, you are a fighter. As early as now we can already see that. In a way, we are relieved because we are living in a country different from where Papa and Mama grew up. We know that it will be an asset in the future. Girly! Oh yes, you have this soft side. hehehe You love playing with your dolls, cooking for them, putting them to sleep. You get angry when Mama becomes too noisy at home or at the car when your babies are asleep. Just thinking, not that I want ok...but you have the makings of  being a good big sister ;)  you like lipsticks, you love dresses -- oh, did  I mention that a couple of months before you turned two, you were already the ones picking up your clothes?!  It's a bit frustrating for me especially that I got used to your Kuya who just wears the clothes I pick for him. Going back to you, you love ballets, leggings, bags and my four-inch heels! Still can't believe you were able to walk on those without tripping! At this point, you're done with Dora. You're slowly shifting to Hello Kitty.You still love Hi-5 and you love to sing and dance to their songs! I think you were inspired to take dancing seriously when you saw your Kuyas and Ates at the KFC - IKV :) You love to paint! You are not afraid to make your hands dirty. You love to explore and imagine things. Keep it up!

There are still some things I think we need to work on -- like your colours, shapes...packing away of toys, sticking to one decision...oooops. Yes, I have my list on that too! But like what I said, we'll take it one day at a time. For now, enjoy your childhood :) We will be here to enjoy it with you.

Yesterday, when you got back from school, you told me, "Mama, Tegan hold my hand in school. She's my best friend!" My world stopped. I panicked! What?! I tried to ask you, "what about me? you told me I was your best friend?" Maybe you sensed my hurt so in trying to make it up to me you immediately said: "Oh, you and Tegan are my best friends!" Ok. That will do for the mean time. But I promise you anak, Mama will try my very best to be worthy of becoming your best friend from today up until I'm old and grey.


Sweetheart, Papa and I can't stop the time. As much as we would want you and your Kuya to stay as lovable, sweet and young that you are now, we can't. All we can do is to enjoy every minute and every opportunity given to us to marvel at your achievements and everything that is part of your journey.

I look forward to our coffee (ok , you're still too young for that)....ice cream dates or shopping dates in the future.

I love you my Sammie.

And yes, you will always be our....my baby girl.

Love and kisses,

Mama

love you forever!

My Ninang Ta

Dear Ninang Ta,

It is with a heavy heart that I am writing this letter. Thinking about it, I think this has been long overdue.

I actually don't know where to start.

Thank you.

Thank you for all those times you helped Papa and Mama during the times that we didn't have any. I remember those days when Mama will tell us that she had to go to you to "sell" her jewelry so we can have money to spend. I remember as well how you "saved" me from paying for the costume I needed for my sixth grade Christmas concert and my graduation dress. How you sponsored my first JS prom gown -- thank you.

Thank you for making me one of your favourites. You might deny it or other people may question it, but I knew in my heart, that for a time, I was your favourite. You gave me the label "Miss Santos" among us cousins. I felt proud having that title. Thank you for being "soft" to me and for not being strict unlike how you disciplined my other cousins. I felt special, Ninang Ta.

Thank you too for those trips that we had to Quiapo church. I looked forward to Fridays because of those trips. Thank you for spoiling me in your own little way, buying beuatiful dresses in Central Market, nice pair shoes in SM Ermita or Isettan Recto. And how we will eat at 3M pizza after the 12noon mass at Quiapo or how we will eat Halo-halo after our shopping at Central Market.

Thank you for the "secret allowances" that you gave me especially after I receive an award. Thank you for those I was able to buy some fancy toys or school stuff at Tropical. Thank you for being both my Tita and my Ninang. I think I never had the chance to say thank you for really being like a second mother to me while I was growing up.

I can still remember how you tutored me after I got home from school. For teaching me how to draw a balloon and a cat. Thank you for always opening your doors for me and my family.

Sorry.

After we transferred houses our time together lessened. So was our Friday dates. You had a new favourite but I never really took it against you. But, sorry if I didn't make an extra effort to visit you especially when we were living away from one another.

Sorry if I forgot to say "Thank you" for every help that you did. For all the love and care you showed not only to me but for my family.

Sorry for not saying "sorry" during the times we might have hurt you. Or during the times you felt lonely and we failed to make you feel special.

Sorry if I didn't give you enough hugs or cuddles especially when you most needed it.

Sorry if after Lola Sabel died and you were left to your own, I failed to make you feel that even if you dont have a husband or children, that you have me, you have us, to take care of you.

Sorry if the only thing I could offer you during the early stages of your sickness was to sleep beside me on my bed and engage in simple conversations. Yes, I could have done more.

Sorry if I wasn't physically present to take care of you after I got married and  when your Alzheimer's took to a worst turn.

Sorry if the peaceful exit I know you would have wished for didn't happen.

Ninang Ta, I think I forgot to tell you that I love you. I'm sorry.

I pray.

I pray that now that He has ended your suffering, may you enjoy your new home. A home where there is no hatred. No fears. No anxieties. No pain.  No sickness like Alzheimer's.

I pray that your death will bring out something good especially for our family. I am still hoping that your death will be an instrument of peace and healing in our family. Miracles still happen.

I pray that you are now at peace.

I pray that you are now safely in the arms of Lolo Arturo and Lola Sabel.

Please pray for us, Ninang Ta.

I love you and I will miss you.

Love,

Your Jeana Pot