My Clever Sammie

My Dear Sammie,

In a couple of days you will already turn 2 and a half years old! Wow! Where did time go?

Like what I did before with your Kuya, I am taking a break from all my worries, to sit down and write to you. I would like to capture in words everything that you are now...hoping that when you are a bit older and able to read on your own, you have something to remind you of how you were at this stage of your life.

They say that fathers and daughters have a different kind of connection. Usually, the daughters are closer with their fathers as compared to their mothers. But looking at the last couple of months, I don't think that applies to us. Two weeks ago, out of the blue, you just told me: "Mama, you're my best friend! My super best friend!" Yes. It melted my heart and made your Papa jealous! hahahaha :)

You are definitely the family's baby. But, am I already babying you too much? On my end I think I don't. You have had your share of time-outs and a little spanking, of a LOT of reprimanding especially from me! So I don't know what made you decide to make me as your super best friend! But I am very happy, honoured and challenged! Yes, I am challenged because I would like you to still tell me that I am still your super best friend after you start going to the big school or when you are already a teenager or even when you're already a grown up! I will not worry on that now. Let's take it one step at a time.

You are now at the peak of your terrible twos and can I say this? This is my first time to handle such "craziness" !!!! I can't believe how you've pushed me to my limits hahahaha really testing if I can be as consistent to all the rules. Yes, you did try my patience. But even if there were a lot of reasons to get annoyed or mad or lose it, you had that ability to make our hearts melt. To turn our frowned and angry faces to happy and laughing ones! Remember just last week, Papa was getting annoyed with you and Kuya because you were so noisy at church then out of the blue you just pretended and walked like a zombie! Hahaha I thought your Papa wouldn't give in...but he did ;) You have that special power specially with your Papa. Well, I guess for all of us too :)

Oh I just love it when you say "I love you Mama" or "I love you Papa" or "I love you Tuya" out of the blue! That makes our day sweetheart!

You are one caring and loving sister. At this point, I know that even if you tend to annoy your "Tuya" or grab toys from him, or fight him, deep in your heart, you love him. How can we forget the times when your Kuya was out and didn't sleep at home. You kept telling Papa and Mama that you're sad because you miss your Kuya. You kept on telling us to already fetch your Kuya. And when he got home? Oh the noise and all the commotion that filled the house! Your Papa and I can only look at one another and smile!  You stayed up late so you and your Kuya can catch up with "lost time" and you gave whatever your Kuya asked. You shared every toy and patiently waited for your turn for the ipad or tablet. You like that your Kuya puts his arms around your shoulders when the two of you watch something from the ipad. You get annoyed when he removes his arm! You know how to make lambing to your "Tuya." You also worry when Kuya gets hurt. When you see Kuya crying because he got into trouble with Papa and Mama, you don't take delight in it. You come to him and put your hands on his back, telling him "it's alright, Tuya." Don't worry sweetheart, it's not a one-way thing. Your Kuya loves you more than you can ever imagine. Papa and Mama are assured that if ever something happens to us (touchwood) your "Tuya" will take good care of you.

Like what we have expected, you are one chatterbox! I think I have met my match! Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Kidding aside, taking care of you was not as difficult because you were already able to express what you want, what you need, what you think of things. Yes, you even told Mama not to go to work a LOT of times already because it will make you sad. You already know how and where to hit me, eh? :) I was tongue tied too when you started praying about "my wedding" in our morning prayer time!

The past couple of weeks, your Papa and I were just so amazed with the words you were using to converse with us or with your cousins. You are becoming cleverer by the day! Not only because you are our child but because people around us can really see it. You already know how to rebut an argument (makings of a lawyer?) and yes, you already know how to complain!!!! "That's not fair! I'm tired!"....Are you sure you're only two? Well, we're not the only one asking that question because even total strangers can't also believe that you talk that much for your age! Well, I'm not complaining.

Your Papa and I are just thankful and proud of everything that you have achieved. You were toilet trained as early as 27 months! Well, sometimes, when we're out and Mama doesn't want to get disturbed, I silently wish that you were still wearing a nappy! Oooppps. Last week, we got surprised when you suddenly spelled out your name -- S - A- M. Yes, we knew that weeks before you knew that your name starts with the letter "s" because every time you see it on the newspapers or magazines, you excitedly point it to us and tell us "Look, Mama, that's my name..." And last Saturday, you were able to identify all the letters on Mama's shirt -- JUST DO IT. Sorry, but I underestimated you. I was gobsmacked when you finished. You can count backwards from 10- 0. You can now count from 1- 20. You already know how to figure out things and can sense when Mama is trying to trick you. Well, in return, you try to outsmart me too! Remember when I told you I had to drop you off at child care because your school bell is ringing already? Well, after two weeks, you told me that we had to bring Kuya first to school, because his school bell is already ringing -- yes, you were trying your best not to let Mama bring you to childcare!

You try to overcome your fears especially the first time you were doing swimming lessons without me in the pool with you. But you did it! It's just a start, anak. Life may be cruel sometimes and you just have to face your fears and do it!

Spunky and girly -- two words to describe you at this point. Spunky. Yes, you are a fighter. As early as now we can already see that. In a way, we are relieved because we are living in a country different from where Papa and Mama grew up. We know that it will be an asset in the future. Girly! Oh yes, you have this soft side. hehehe You love playing with your dolls, cooking for them, putting them to sleep. You get angry when Mama becomes too noisy at home or at the car when your babies are asleep. Just thinking, not that I want ok...but you have the makings of  being a good big sister ;)  you like lipsticks, you love dresses -- oh, did  I mention that a couple of months before you turned two, you were already the ones picking up your clothes?!  It's a bit frustrating for me especially that I got used to your Kuya who just wears the clothes I pick for him. Going back to you, you love ballets, leggings, bags and my four-inch heels! Still can't believe you were able to walk on those without tripping! At this point, you're done with Dora. You're slowly shifting to Hello Kitty.You still love Hi-5 and you love to sing and dance to their songs! I think you were inspired to take dancing seriously when you saw your Kuyas and Ates at the KFC - IKV :) You love to paint! You are not afraid to make your hands dirty. You love to explore and imagine things. Keep it up!

There are still some things I think we need to work on -- like your colours, shapes...packing away of toys, sticking to one decision...oooops. Yes, I have my list on that too! But like what I said, we'll take it one day at a time. For now, enjoy your childhood :) We will be here to enjoy it with you.

Yesterday, when you got back from school, you told me, "Mama, Tegan hold my hand in school. She's my best friend!" My world stopped. I panicked! What?! I tried to ask you, "what about me? you told me I was your best friend?" Maybe you sensed my hurt so in trying to make it up to me you immediately said: "Oh, you and Tegan are my best friends!" Ok. That will do for the mean time. But I promise you anak, Mama will try my very best to be worthy of becoming your best friend from today up until I'm old and grey.


Sweetheart, Papa and I can't stop the time. As much as we would want you and your Kuya to stay as lovable, sweet and young that you are now, we can't. All we can do is to enjoy every minute and every opportunity given to us to marvel at your achievements and everything that is part of your journey.

I look forward to our coffee (ok , you're still too young for that)....ice cream dates or shopping dates in the future.

I love you my Sammie.

And yes, you will always be our....my baby girl.

Love and kisses,

Mama

love you forever!

My Dear Sammie

My Dear Sammie,

As promised, I will be writing something to you as well. Sorry it took me a longer time to write to you as compared to your Kuya Liam. Not to worry, Mama is not playing favorites :)

By now, you already know that like your Kuya, you are an answered prayer. God giving us a daughter, like what we have prayed for was bonus! And we will be forever thankful for that.

You are now 16 months old and in those 16 months I have cherised every moment spent with you. And how your name has evolved! :)

I can say that you are lucky because you got Mama personally taking care of you during the first 14 months of your life :) No yayas :) Your Kuya was not as lucky, hehehe You are a living proof that I can do things, multi-task to the highest level, and I only have to will it :)Because of your birth, Mama's ka-praningan and fears as a first-time mum vanished into thin air! I'm a more confident mum now :)

I consider myself luckier because not all parents can see and witness their kids' milestones, like me. On your every "first" I was there to witness it. I was there to see you try and succeed.

At 16 months, you already have your own personality. You and your Kuya may have physical similarities, but your personalities are uniquely your own :) You know what you like and don't like. You don't have a hard time telling us your preference because as young as you are, you can already verbalize the things that you like (and don't like).

You like to sing, you like the Wiggles (like your Kuya Liam) and their songs, you are a silent observer but you learn that way. You started counting one to five at this age. You like Gymbaroo (especially the song "I Hear Thunder')and you have fallen in love with swimming :) You like to draw and read. You like to dance and is into music as well. You are starting with your toliet training, but it is still eratic :) On the times that you verbalized what you wanted, it was always a success :)

You already know a lot of words! :)You even make simple sentences now :) We think that you will be one chatterbox like your Kuya. You are one bubbly and smart girl. It seems though that you are tougher than your Kuya. I am not worried. I know in the future, that trait will benefit you more. You are one spunky girl! :) You have been attending childcare now for almost 3 months and by this time, you have adjusted well. No more tears :) You have your way of making lambing to your Papa, Mama and Kuya Liam and it is very effective!

Your favorite cousin is bebe! You like calling her name all the time! :)

You don't like frills and ribbons. Sorry if Mama still insists of putting something on your hair hehehe Hey, you are a girl, ok? :)

When Mama is down and a bit sad, all I have to do is remember the funny faces and the happy moments that you made and it helps lift Mama's spirits.

We often argue, especially if you insist on the things you like. But Mama has to be tough. I think this a sign of things to come. But remember that I have to be tough for you and your Kuya to learn. It's a crazy world out there!

I know in due time, you'll look up to me as your model. You'll probably get some of my traits and attitude. God help me! I hope I am worthy enough to be one. With all the flaws that I have! Ha! But more than that, I look forward to the time when you will be old enough and we can have our mother-daughter bonding :) AS it is, we already have two, your Gymbaroo and swimming classes, and sometimes shopping. But it's different when you are much older hehehe :)

I love you very much. I thank God that He has entrusted you to us. Papa and Mama will continue to work together so we can raise you up to be the person God wants you to be. I am not thinking anymore of what the future will bring, all I know now is I am thankful for having this opportunity to personally take care of you, raise you, teach you and guide you. It is hard and sometimes drives me crazy, but I know in the end, all will be worth it. I will not focus on the hardships (because it might drive me nuts), but focus on the beauty of having to take care of you. This is a rare opportunity and not everyone has it, so I'll make the most out of it.

You and your Kuya will forever be the source of our joy and our inspiration.

I love you very much!

Till my next letter!

Love,
Mama

A Journey Called Parenthood

Life-changing. This is something that describes what couples experience once they become parents. I would know, because it happened to me, because it happened to us.
I remember a colleague of mine telling me when I was still heavy with my son, that when he comes out, our lives will change forever. It will be a 360 degree turn. I agreed with her because it was what I have observed with most of the friends who became parents earlier than me. Deep inside though, I still needed some convincing. But I never knew the extent of the influence parenthood makes until I became one. Priorities will change. That one, I assure you.

Before I married my husband, he was dead set of staying in our homeland and even told me that he never sees himself working overseas. Well, all of that changed, especially when we became parents. The proof? We have decided to try our luck and migrated to another country, start all over again, because we know that eventually, our decision will be best for our son. True enough, we are now seeing the wisdom behind our big move. Becoming a parent transforms you and your spouse. You become more selfless. You give more especially to your kids. Work takes a back seat. Extending your time at work is a no-no this time, because you would want to spend more time with your child. Missing out on parties or gatherings don’t bother you anymore. You try your best and you give your best in everything that you do because you only want the best for your child.

Looking back at our own journey I can say that my son did a wonderful thing to me and my husband without even trying! Just by being born, he made me and his dad focus on things that really matter. Just by being born, he made us go out of our comfort zones, hard as it may be. He transformed us to become better individuals. He made us attend to more important things. I am pretty sure; we are not alone on this. I am pretty sure that many parents, like me, can attest how parenthood has brought out the best in them. How they managed to prioritize the more important things in life.
Being a parent is no easy task. It is an everyday thing. But despite the hardships parents face in raising their children, the beauty of parenthood, still outweighs the problems. Parenthood, life-changing? Definitely.

Coming Full Circle

In 1991, I remember my parents talking to 4 Titos who were also our neighbors. No big deal for me then. I thought that they only wanted to talk something about my parents. Before they left, I heard my parents say that they'll think it over. Whatever that was, I was pretty sure then that it didn't involve me. I was wrong. That visit made a big difference it my parents' lives. In our family. In my life. The purpose of that visit was to actually invite my parents to attend the Christian Life Program for married couples. Probably my parents thought that since they were active in church already, being part of the Lectorate ministry, they didn't need to attend gatherings or join groups like those. Well, I wouldn't blame them. Sacrificing 13 Saturday evenings just as so you can finish the program is not an easy thing. I thought that they won't finish the entire program, but I'm glad they did. When my parents became active in the community, I remember having one confrontation with my mom, telling them that they should spend more time with us, rather than spending their weekends with the community. My mom reprimanded me about what I said and just told me not to question their service. I was mad, of course. I felt that their time with us was being taken away by this group. I just didn't see the wisdom of all these prayer meetings and service. Fast forward, I am now 13 years old. My Kuya and Ate were already attending the same program for the kids of the CFC members, the Young Adults. I saw how the community transformed them. Now it was my turn to attend the 13 sessions every Sunday.  Maybe, just maybe, it will also have the same effect on me. So, there I was, together with other teenagers, sacrificing our Sunday afternoons to listen to speakers talk about God, to listen to fellow youth members share about their life, their struggles and their triumphs. Yeah, I was attending the sessions, because I had to. Or maybe I had a crush on someone, hahahaha. But as they say, God works in mysterious ways. Maybe it took some time before it finally dawned on me why I had to be a member of that youth group. When I was in 4th year high school, the mission trips began. Meaning, a couple of us, all youth members, will be sent to some place, usually a province, to conduct the same program for the kids of CFC members. When I was tapped to be a part of one mission I was of course, surprised. I went there to talk about God's love. I don't know if I was an effective speaker, but that chance to talk in front of other youth humbled me and allowed to see things differently. It was then that my relationship with Him started. It was through this community and my experiences when we had camps, youth fellowships, sleepovers, that transformed me. It made me see things differently. See every trial as a blessing in disguise.  My relationship with Him was not bounded by just the traditional prayers. It became more personal. The good thing about it all was that the entire family was experiencing the transformation. Our family is far from being perfect. We still had our share of disagreements or quarrels. But our service to Him through the community made the difference. Fast forward. After many camps, talks, sharings, itwas time to move on. I had to attend another Christian Life Program again. This time, it was with other single men and women of my age. It was at that stage when I met my future husband. No, we didn't meet at the meetings. We met thru a common friend who was also part of the community. Through our interactions, I learned that he was also part of the youth group I belonged to while I was growing up. Same group, but different area. Alvin's parents were also actively serving the community. The funny thing is, he remembers me giving a talk on one of their camps, but I can't remember him. It is also funny to know that we attended the same annual conferences--meaning riding the same boat going to the provinces-- but  still didn't bump into each other. Fast forward. We've been married now for three years and has been a couple since December of 2000. In two week's time we will now be attending the same Christian Life Program that was introduced to our parents over a decade ago. The same community that helped nurture our family's relationship. The same community that made a huge impact in our lives. The community that helped our parents nurture our faith. The same community that gave me my husband. Looking back now at the journey of our parents and what our family had to go through, I am glad our parents decided to respond to the calling. I am now looking forward on our own journey, the fruits of serving Him again, not as a youth, not as a singler adult person, but as a couple, and as a family. We have come full circle.