Marriage Enrichment Retreat

After almost four years in the community as CFC members and almost seven years as a married couple, we can finally attend our MER.

I am a believer that it's not a loss to attend such activities.

I know in the end, we'll even benefit from it.

I'm so looling forward to this weekend. Another long drive for us. Another opportunity to learn from other couples. Another opportunity to nurture our relationship as husband and wife. Another opportunity to grow together.

I'm just lucky and thankful that hubby doesn't find these activities, corny or a waste of time. I'm happy to see that like me, he is very much willing to invest time and effort for our marriage.

Watch this space for my full kwento.

Going Against the Usual

I was actually inspired to write something about Vday after reading my friend's blog. Hey Mitch, I had a good laugh with your blog, Valentine's Day 2013. Yes, nakakaumay nga hahaha

So here's my share of Vday stories :)

I had work that day so I had to get up earlier than usual.

While the kids slept, Alvin and I had breakfast together, coffee and kwentuhan. It was one of those rare moments for us, so for me it was already our Vday date. Hehehe

What about gifts?

Not making an excuse or anything, I'm not expecting anything from Alvin. I have reached the point in our relationship where I have realized that my husband shows me how he loves me, everyday. He gives me gifts and lets me buy things I like even if there is no occasion. More than the material things, he makes and does a lot of small things, which for me are big proofs that he loves me!

That is what actually inspired me to write a poem for him, as my Vday gift.

I actually made a simple poem for Alvin. I've long planned about it. But since I was working that day I decided to just email it to him hehehe I thought sending him an e-mail that day with that poem was still a surprise, right? :)

I customised the poem: How Do I Love Thee....

My poem went like this:

How do you love me?

Let me count the ways....

You love me when.....

...and then I listed down all the small things he has been doing for me and the kids like waking up early at weekends to cook breaking for us, watching a movie with me which he really doesn't like, making me coffee in the morning, making me movie snack at night time, getting me a cold glass of water when he's all set to sleep, when he takes charge of the kids when he gets home from work, when he puts up with all my craziness and mood swings whenever I have my PMS...when he gives me massages, when he doesn't disturb me when I'm eating and the kids need some washing after the use of the toilet...and the like...I listed a lot ;)

My purpose? I just wanted to let him know that I remember all those "small things" he has been doing and I appreciate all of it. All of it goes to show that he really loves me ;) I'd rather have those "small things" than having a bouquet of roses for Vday :)

He was bubblier when he got home. He thanked me for the poem and told me that he liked it. And believe it or not, it worked wonders hehehe I've seen him doing more of those "small things" because he probably realized that I was taking notice of his efforts.

Anyway, even if I wanted to share it, I deliberately didn't because I knew almost everyone will be sharing something about Vday hehehe. Like what my friend Mitch said, sandamakmak nga ang posts about flowers, cards and dates lol :)

Anyway, he still had something during our HHPM the next day. The hubbies gave each of the wifeys a long-stemmed tulip and honoured us before our discussion.

Happy to hear hubby say how he appreciates me and how I bring out the best in him :)

There, my Vday might have been ordinary, but who needs that one day of expensive flowers, chocolates, fully-booked restaurants, when we can make everyday Vday, right?

Super SAD Day

Today, I lost my engagement ring.

Today of all days!!!!!!

When I've two loads of laundry, cleaned and vacuumed the car, been to K-mart, cleaned the house, been to the dentist and to the market.

I only discovered it this afternoon on my way home from the dentist and market. I was only 5 minutes away from home when I accidentally discovered it was missing. I was still waering the ring,  but the diamond was missing. So it's like the ring already lost its essence.

I want to cry now.

Hubby knew about it as soon as I arrived home. He called and tried to comfort me.

He even sent follow-up text messages to make sure I'm okay and to not worry about it.

It's not him getting mad at me (he didn't ok?) that makes me upset.

It is the value of the ring. (Ok, it is only 0.25 ct, but the cut was very clear, Alvin didn't buy it from Binondo, so it's not yellowish, the effort that Alvin had to do so he can spend for it ...)

The sentimental value of it. (The way Alvin researched about engagement rings and his search for the perfect ring for me, as he told me. It would have been 8 years old come 29 May, the day he propsed to me.)

I even treasure it than my wedding ring.

I'm upset big time. Hubby is still hopeful it's just at home or in my bag.

Even if he replaces it, it's still different to have the original one, the one he gave me when he proposed.

I was planning to give it to Sam or Liam as a family heirloom, since my mom's engagement ring is with me up to now.

Sad. Just sad.

I hope we can really still find it here at home.

Goals for 2012

Is this blog lost or a late post? Neither. I am really writing this post today, the 29th, a day after Alvin and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary.

Alvin and I actually started with this tradition 6 years ago, when we first celebrated our wedding anniversay.

During our anniversary date, we would sit down, reflect and talk about how our year has been. Giving feedback and setting some goals. I actually love doing this with hubby and I am thankful that hubby was and is ok with this activity :)

Anyway, we had our anniversary dinner last night with Liam and Sam and so it was quite impossible for us to have our usual discussion. On the way to another commitment, the kids fell asleep in the car and so we had the chance to have our heart-to heart talk.

What are our goals for 2012?

Me:
Will do my very best to make myself more pleasant when hubby gets home. You know, no more sungit (even if I am dead tired because of the day's activities).

Will lessen my being utosera. hehehe We actually had a good laugh as we recalled the classic story of "remote control utos" a few months back.

Alvin:
Will do things without me having to say it.
Will lessen his "walk-out episodes" (we were actually able to clarify this issue, of him snapping too quickly when he gets irritated. for him, it was his way of avoiding a bigger fight, but for me, it feels like he was walking out on me. so there, clarified and settled)

As a couple:

Sorry, x-rated ;p

As parents:
Alvin: will spend more time with Liam, so Liam can change the way he treats him hehe
Me: will start teaching Sam how to pack away her toys (poor Kuya Liam is always the one doing the packing away), read more books to her and Liam (sayang since she really shows interest with books) and will lessen my whining and have a more positive attitude towards house work (like what I read in an article, kids absorb our attitudes and I can say that Liam is starting to sound like me, a whiner, everytime I ask him to do little errands. i know, sorry, but it's not yet too late).

Because we assessed our actions, we had the chance to say "sorry" to one another. I was able to ask him questions like, "does he look forward to going home after work, because of the kids only or because of me and the kids"? And of course, after our talk, we were able to affirm our love with one another.

Sorry, mushy, but we both felt good afterwards.

Our projects for the coming year:
to continue bonding as a family and travelling as a family
to continue saving for our first home
to do well in our service, especially that we already accepted the roles of being Household leaders in our community

After six years, Alvin and I can only be thankful and grateful for:
the two wonderful and beautiful children whom God has entrusted to us
immediate (relatives included) and second families (CFC and BESA) who continue to help us and guide us in our growth
real and genuine friendships which surpassed the test of time and distance, 
new real friendships
which sincerely share in our joys and triumphs and
the comfortable and good life that we have
for opportunities to make our imperfections, perfect
weaknesses to strength
for challenges and struggles for us to keep the faith

we really can't complain, God has blessed us with our hearts' desires and more!

Alvin and his date :)

Happy anniversary to us Papa A!
I love you very much!

me and my anniv date :)

We just had a simple family dinner to celebrate our sixth! :) What made it more special was that we were prayed over by our CFC brothers and sisters a few minutes after 12midnight of 28 April 2012.

"Us" Time

On one of my blogs, I have written about how I value my "me" time, especially after becoming a mom. Now, I would like to zero in on "us" time. "Us" referring to me and my hubby.

Since becoming parents we suddenly found our hands very full and always occupied with a lot of things for the kids. Conversations always included or are always about the kids. Aside from taking care of my little boy, we also had jobs and house chores to juggle as well. It is indeed a challenge to find an "us" time for the two of us. I am pretty sure many parents can relate with us. Liam is always with us, he sleeps between the two of us every night, and soon, Sam will join us. On weekdays we sometimes find ouselves already too tired at the end of the day to even have a long conversation like we used to during our "courtship" days. We try to catch up with one another by having short phone calls within the day, updating one another of how the day has been for us, but talking more about our children. On weekends, we also have quality time with our children, we go to shops, or we have long drives every now and then or we just stay home, trying to catch up with the pending house chores as well. Busy days and happy days indeed for the family. But again, it is quite rare that we find ourselves alone to spend "us" time.

Last weekend, as we explored around Sydney Botanical Gardens, I finally found ourselves doing HHWW(holding hands while walking), just the two of us, no strollers, or Liam in between. In addition to this, we had the chance to talk, crack jokes and laugh about some things that don't concern our kids or the family. Just two adults having fun while strolling together. We were just enjoying each other's presence like we used to when we were still not married. And I felt good. Finally an "us" time! Probably you are asking where Liam is, well, while we were strolling, he was with his Lolo and Lola the whole time.

I believe that as a parent, a "me" time is essential. But as couples, an "us" time is as important. I realized that there are a lot of factors that come into the picture that hinders us from having the "us" time -- career, house chores and kids! Especially the kids! We sometimes find ourselves to engrossed in becoming the best parent and best provider for our children that we sometimes fail to realize that we shouldn't neglect the "us" time. Personally, having the "us" time doesn't have to be expensive. Just having a cup of coffee or breakfast together while Liam is still asleep can be a venue for us to have our "us" time. It can be as simple as me extending my waking hours so we can have those usual conversations about life, about how our day went, or about the movie that we saw, something to laugh about, something to be "kilig" about. I remember watching an interview of Maricel Laxa-Pangilinan before I got married. She said that she and her hubby try to make it a point to go out at least once a week just by themselves and talk about everything except about the kids. It nurtures their relationship with one another. It is very ideal indeed and I would love to have that as well. But looking at our situation, where there are no helpers available, we might just do away with the simple things I have mentioned, and later on, when the kids are a bit older, then maybe we can have more chances of having our "us" time. We can also grab opportunities, like the one we have now, our parents being here with us to help in taking care of the kids, to have our "us" time more frequently.

As a parent and an individual, "me" time is important. You feel refreshed and recharged, which in turn benefits the kids and the family. Likewise, I believe that as couples, we should also strive to have our "us" time. It will also benefit our kids and the family as well.