Pruning Time for Us

Can't help but get teary-eyed when I read yesterday two of Bo Sanchez' most recent blogs :) It reminded me of what hubby and I recently had to go through, as a couple.

Here are some of the parts that struck me:

"Marriages Can’t Be Strong Without Gratitude

Do you know why married people have affairs? It’s not because of sex. It’s because they grumble instead of being grateful.Your spouse has 90% of what you need.But because you’re not grateful for that 90%, you search for that missing 10% in a mistress. Someone fresh. Someone prettier. Someone more affectionate. Someone who smells nice. But when you go home, your wife smells of paksiw. She isn’t affectionate because she’s tired, taking care of the kids the entire day."

"I realized something very important. I realized that I grew the most not during the times when everything was smooth. Or the times when everything was going my way. I realized that I grew the most during the times when there was intense trouble. Intense pain. I grew the most when I was attacked from all directions and I couldn’t breathe anymore.

That’s when God stretched me. I have one word for you about trouble: Get used to it.
Because trouble is the birthplace for your greatest growth. Be grateful for the blessings behind your trials."

I think mentioned in my previous blog that the "ending of 2011 was one crazy one" but I also mentioned that "all is well now."

You see, during the Christmas holidays (yes, of all times!), Alvin and I, just kept on fighting! We were fighting every other day! Will fight today, kiss and make up the next day, then fight the next day again! As in! It was sooo tiring and emotionally draining!

Maybe, he reached his saturation point, and I reached mine as well! In other words, we were both topak. I was so close to quitting! That was how serious it was!

I will not wash our dirty linens here because I believe it is up for us to settle them and get rid of them, and of course, as a sign of respect for hubby. So sorry, hehehe. But it was like we were back to square one! You know, our fights when we were still bf-gf! In our heart-to-heart talk, we did acknowledge that the "monsters" are back! Monsters that we thought have left when Liam came to our lives! The last fight that we had for 2011 was the worst of all fights!!! Even Liam sensed something was wrong with us. :(

The thing is, when we have these fights, we are not the type who settles them before we sleep on the day we fought. We let each other breathe and think. We give each other time to be mad and to be sober. We don't rush things, thinking we might end up hurting each other more. We give each space. So after all the space and the time, we sat down and talked, tried to iron out the kinks and smoothen the road ahead of us. It was the best way to start 2012 :)

Well, after reading Bo's blogs, I felt that yes, we passed through a prunning stage. I admit, one of my faults is always looking at the 10% that hubby misses as a husband and as a father, and not zero in on the 90% that he does for us.

But all is well now. I think, yes, it's hard and it's very painful to pass through that prunning stage again but it was refreshing and joyful when we surpassed that stage, together.

We both think those fights brought out the worst in us. BUT it also brought out the best in us, especially after all those reflections, realizations and heart to heart talks!

And with all those fights, wish ko lang, di masundan si Sam! ;p

Full Moon

Took a while to write my next blog entry.

Was trying to write about something but I just can't pull my acts together. Was being consumed by a lot of things.

I needed to do a lot of things yesterday (well, actually, I still do), but I wasn't up for the challenge. I tried to run away by going to the shops with my children, but of course when I got home, the issues and the to-dos were still there. But my trip with the kids helped, heaps. Let's just say I was getting lost with all the commotion and they helped me find my way back, just by being themselves :-)

The words are coming out easily now because I feel better :-)

bilog lang siguro ang buwan :-)

doubting jeana

Last saturday, during my prayer time, I was a bit tensed. I was a bit tensed because I came to a realization, that aside from the material things we are still wishing we can have, everything seems to be perfect. Perfect? I have kids, I have healthy, bright and happy kids. I have my hubby. I have a very thoughtful and loving hubby.Career wise, everything is doing great as well. We, at prsent don't have any major problems -- health, financial worries, relationships. And the thought of that scared me. It scared me because even if I know and have been reminded countless times of God's great love for us and that He only wants what's best for us, not having any problems at present made me doubt this and still thought He might plan to make it up next time or to make "bawi" with us in the future. Crazy thoughts like -- sickness, accidents, major relationship problems or career issues came in to my mind. Crazy right?

So yesterday I just shared my thoughts with Alvin. I asked him if he was scared with the thought that everything is going smoothly. Well, of course this is aside from the other "wants" that we still have in mind. We are not bothered with these wants because we can live without them. As I have told Alvin, these extras are just a bonus. The good thing about this conversation was he was also able to think about it too and realized that indeed we have been blessed. We recalled the major problems we have had before and remembered that in those trying times we were hurdling them calmly -- thru prayers. We didn't come to that point wherein we had to question God why we were having those problems. We didn't come to that point where we had to ask Him, "why me? why us?" And we think we did a good job at that. Bottomline, we realized as a couple that if ever something big (problem) comes along the way, it is not God's way of making "bawi" to us,for all the good things He has given us, but is just part of His great plan for us.

The thought of having another (major) problem or God taking something away from us, from me, still scares the hell out of me. But I realized that doubting will do no good for me. I must believe that God's love for all of us is faithful. He is not a selfish God. He will always want and do what is best for us. I should not doubt.