Last Friday, in our weekly household prayer meeting, our household head shared a very nice article of Bo Sanchez. It basically talks about the Gift of Now. Not worrying about the future and not fretting about the past and just enjoying the now.
The past couple of weeks I have been very busy tending to my duties and responsibilities at home. I was a mum to three kids, my niece and my nephew being with me most of the time since their Papa was in the US, then in London for work matters. That made my hands full. Very full. Not to mention that I am already five and a half months on my second (and last) pregnancy. I felt that I was slowly becoming a bit domesticated. I can't believe that I am what I am now considering that a couple of years ago I told my friends that I never see myself just staying at home. Especially after working very hard for my studies and my Masters. Well, God has different ways of teaching us valuable lessons.
Now, back to the gift of now. It has been lingering a couple of weeks now and I felt that the meeting we had last Friday was the climax of it all. A few days ago my friend's entire family met a horrible accident in Manila. As they have described it, it is a miracle that all of them are still alive. My sister-in-law also shared some stories of how her friend's daughter suffered from tuberculosis of the bones at such an early age (she's still in college) and how her niece, who is just 13 years old, died of dengue! In our short talk, we just came into conclusion that we really never know when our time is up. That in a snap of a finger we can all die. So my thirst to enjoy the "now" became more serious.
At present, I am torn. Half of me wants to enjoy the "now" but part of me also wants to prepare for the future. I want to spend more time at home, more time to travel, more time to spend with my family back in Manila, with my parents. But at the back of my mind, the bills, the expenses, the to-buy lists are ringing. I guess at this stage in our family life, we are still in the process of working our way to a more stable future for our children. And the two just contradicts one another. The past weeks I have been turning down calls for casual work and I am happy with my decision, but I know that I can't turn down all the calls everytime. Sooner or later I will have to work. So does that mean, there goes the gift of now? I don't know. At the back of my mind I don't want to worry anymore because I know (and He has proven it to me a GAZILLION times) that God will provide. But I am only human and worry sometimes catch up with me. So I still don't know.
Alvin shared a story which convinced me some more to enjoy the "now". It was a story which was shared by one of his officemates, apparently, when his kid was stil growing up, he spent too much time working, prompting his son to email him a letter with a subject: To the Dad that I never see. That was his wake-up call. I'd dread that day if and when one of my children will write a letter to me with that heading. But as I've mentioned earlier. I am torn, we are torn. It's hard to really enjoy the now, in the fullest sense and the way we want to enjoy it without me or my husband thinking about the future. All we can do now is to try to make the most of what we have now. Enjoying some of life's simple pleasures and simple luxuries every now and then, as life presents it to us, one at a time. I would love to enjoy my gift of now...if only it was that easy.
