A week ago a crazy idea entered my mind – I want to try out applying to other jobs which I don’t have any formal training or experience. The reason for this is an entirely a different story. Now back to this one. At first I was hesitant because I was again torn with the idea that if I get lucky and land a full-time job, then I might neglect my duties and responsibilities as a wife and as mom. I am more concerned with the latter. Liam is now at the terrible two’s age and as I have observed the past days, he learns fast, he absorbs things quickly. True to what I’ve learned in formal schooling, kids his age are like sponges. So this thought is actually hindering me from pursuing another job. I am afraid that I may provide for his needs but eventually go home one day not knowing him anymore. He is growing up so fast, right before my eyes! I am afraid that if he spends more time in childcare, the carers might not be able to instill in him the Filipino values I want him to grow up with. In the same manner that they may not be able to discipline him a parent does, all because they are limited to do things with the child, if ever a child misbehaves.
A day or two after the feeling of wanting to try out other jobs, I was able to talk to one sister in the community. I was able to share my insights and my hesitations about looking for a more secured job, and not being satisfied with an “on-call” job as a casual primary school teacher. In the course of our conversation, she assured me that there is no reason for me to worry too much or to feel guilty at that. She shared her own experience and was able to relay that her son, though left in the care of other people while she and her husband were working, is growing up okay – sweet, thoughtful, disciplined. That small talk did encourage me but I still didn’t jump into it right away. I gave myself some time, a week, to think and pray things over. Actually, I am still praying for it. After thinking about the pros and cons of trying it out on some other field, I finally did it. So what prompted me to take the plunge? A lot of reasons! But let me share some of it.
I realized that true enough, being a full-time mum is no assurance that your kid will grow up good. I have seen a number of kids, especially when I was back in Manila, who had stay-at-home moms, and yet they were not still doing well in their academics or they were also misbehaving at school. Some were my students; others are children of my co-workers. On the other end, I have seen kids, whose parents are both working, and yet, grew up to be good and responsible adults. I won’t go far, I’ll have my in-laws and my own parents as examples. Both my in-laws and my parents were working full-time in their respective jobs, both didn’t have any help or maid to help out in the household chores, but modesty aside, I can say that we all grew up well.
Another reason is of course the plain fact that we are already over staying at my brother’s house. We still feel shy even if there is no pressure on their part for us to move out already. If I get a more stable and secured job, of course, it’ll help us out in our finances.
As I have written a few spaces ago, I am still praying for it. Though I already took the plunge in applying for different jobs namely: customer service, office junior/all rounder, receptionist, office administration, stock replenisher both in Aldi and Coles, I am still at that stage of praying that my moves are one with His moves. I hope that in a week or two my mobile will ring and the person at the other end of the line will tell me, “Welcome! Or Congratulations! Or You will start on...” The last two jobs I listed was a humbling experience because I never imagined myself working in a supermarket. This experience is teaching me again and I am pretty sure that it will continue to teach me as I continue to do "da moves" – all for the love of my family.
