Simple Dreams Are Made of These

Funny but sometimes I catch myself just smiling on my own. Call it crazy but I love doing it every now and then. You may be asking why I am smiling by myself, well, it’s actually the result of having the trip down memory lane and seeing how good life has been to me, how God has been good to me.

I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. We were not as privileged as the other kids. I came from a middle class family which experienced financial difficulties most of the time. My parents’ salaries were just right, sometimes not enough to make ends meet. I experienced giving up my savings and Christmas “earnings” from my godparents during those “dry” times. In the same manner that my parents tried to do some extra work by selling food or clothes in their offices, just as so we had some money to spend. But all through it all our family became stronger. During those times, I would only get to wear branded shirts, jeans or shoes only as a prize for being on the Top 3 of my class. If I landed on the 4th place or lower, sorry, no prize awaited me. Through those times I found myself dreaming of simple dreams. What dreams were those? Let me share some of them. I wanted that hopefully in the future I would learn how to drive, drive my own car, have my teeth fixed by wearing braces, tour to some tourist destinations in the Philippines, spend a weekend on a five-star hotel, eat in a hotel or in good restaurants, get to buy some branded stuff every now and then, travel outside the country, and have a grand wedding.

As I’ve written earlier, God has been good to me because all of those simple dreams became a reality. I didn’t get all of it in an instant, many had to wait for a couple of years. Regardless of the number of years I had to wait before it became a reality, it still became a reality. This is why I love going back and recalling the old times. It keeps me grounded. It gives me more reasons to be thankful. It gives me more reasons to enjoy life.

Blogging to Earn (Extra)

Two weeks ago, I was dead set in having another part-time job thru blogging. Through a kind act I was informed that for starters my blog should be 3 months old and that at least I have 10 blog entries for the month. It didn’t bother me that I had to write 10 blog entries for one month. That was easy. And so I thought. The month will soon be over now and I haven’t even reached the quota. It was not as easy as I thought it would be.

Why wasn’t it easy? Well, for one, I suddenly found myself getting busier because I have restarted with my interrupted career of being a Primary School teacher. Even if I am just on call for some days, the days that I am not teaching are spent caring for my son and doing household chores. That leaves me dead tired at the end of the day and it somehow affects my mood to write.

Second, reflecting at how I write, I have discovered that writing becomes easy for me if I write about topics close to my heart, if I write because I want to and not because I need to. I believe that the quality of my blogs might suffer if I just write about anything that really hasn’t inspired me or taught me a lesson. After all, my blogs are about my adventures, my journey. I am afraid that my blog might end up being a “commercial” if I go through with my plans of earning thru blog writing. No offense meant to those who are already doing it. You continue to be an inspiration. But I believe it is not my time yet.

Third and lastly, I wanted to do blog writing as another “racket” to help out in the family’s finances. But looking at it now, I really don’t have to do it yet. God has been good to us and has been providing us with what we need. My book has been published in Manila already and in a few months time; I will be getting my first royalty check. Here at home, I am blessed to receive calls every now and then to do casual teaching and it helps us out with our expenses and savings as well. I know that our present situation is still not what we have prayed for, but I know in His goodness, we will get there.

So for now, I am postponing my plans of earning through blogging, maybe soon or when the situation really calls for it, I will. At present, I will continue to share my stories, my adventures, my journey, as it happens, without the thinking of any requirement or beating the deadline. I will continue to write because I enjoy doing it, like what I have said, to write because I want to and not because I need to.

Kids as Teachers

Today, this was what I wrote on my FB status: Jeana Marie is just amazed on how kids, like our children, can teach us the most valuable lessons in life – patience, perseverance, unconditional love, sacrifice – in the truest sense.

For a couple of days now, I am playing nurse and doctor to my 20-month old son. Many mums will agree that one of the greatest challenges of being a mum is when the kids get sick. This experience, like the other experiences I have had since Liam came to my life, is teaching me how to be patient. Who wouldn’t get impatient if your child just wants to be carried all the time, and continues to say “up” even if you’re carrying him already? You have to keep your cool even if you are sleep deprived and super tired already. You have to stay cool when all he wants is mum, and you can’t do anything else – chores at home, work – and try to give in to all his whims and wants. You have to stay cool when he doesn’t want to stop crying and you’ve done everything to relax him and make him comfortable. You have to be patient when he’s drawing attention from other people because he is sick. You have to stay cool even when he throws up the medicines you’ve been giving him. Patience is really no easy thing.

I want my son to grow up good. Who wouldn’t? Now that I can see that he has an understanding already of what’s happening around him, I am challenged to persevere day in and day out to do good, and to be good. As a friend once said, “We have to be what we would want our children to be.” So if I want him to be honest, I have to be honest all the time. If I want him to grow up respecting people around him, he has to see that in me as well. If I want him growing up to be a God-loving and God-fearing individual, then I have to show it to him as well. If I want him to grow up to be a loving and caring person, he needs to witness it from me as well. If I want him to be prayerful as well, then I should continue to be one. Whoever said being a parent is easy?

I believe that unconditional love and sacrifice go hand in hand. Because you love unconditionally, despite of and in spite of all their weaknesses, you get to sacrifice a lot for them as well. You can stay up late or you may not even sleep at all, you can skip a meal, eat less, eat leftovers which you don’t usually do, postponing to buy something for yourself in order to buy something for him, not stick to schedules, not doing the house chores, giving up “myself” time, trying to overlook the negatives and see the positives for him, oh the list would just go on and on. I am pretty sure many parents have done more and will do more. Each time they do it, I do it, a new lesson is learned. Another lesson that makes me understand the real meaning of the words. The kids do it without much effort on their part and that adds to the beauty and wonder of it.

Kids are truly one of God's best instruments in teaching the grown-ups. Praise Him for that!

Loving Mother Earth

Let me deal with something more general know, about climate change. Much has been said about it. Leaders of different nations are debating with one another, trying to resolve the problems brought about climate change. It is quite sad that people all over the world must suffer from drought, floods, bush fires, and more, before we started thinking of ways to show our concern for the environment. I am amazed at how the weather and the seasons of the year have become so unpredictable. When I was a kid, I remember my Science teacher telling the class that from the Months of June to October, we have the rainy season, November to February are the cold months, and March till May are the summer months. But two or three years ago I have started to experience a change in these seasons. It is either we experience very dry months during the rainy season and experience a lot of strong rains and storms during the ber months! Now isn’t it a clear sign that something is wrong?

My family and I have been here in Australia for just 6 months but we have also felt the effects of climate change here. Winter started really early. But it was weird having warm temperatures for one day or the next, then go back to the freezing temperature again. My first winter was not as cold as I expected and what people told me it would be. It was over two weeks ahead of time. It is supposed to be spring now but we are getting temperatures as high as 30 or 31 already! It’s not yet even summer!

This is serious problem. If we don’t act now I’m pretty sure there will be no end to the fires, droughts and floods that we are already experiencing. I think people have this notion that you have to be a scientist before you can solve this problem. But I believe that in our own simple way, we can do something, not necessarily to solve all, but at least a few of the problems we are facing because of climate change or global warming. I made a list and promised myself to do it religiously.

I will segregate all bio from non-bio materials.
I will use recyclable bags when I shop.
I will plant more trees.
I will teach my son the value of Mother Earth and how he can take care of it.
If the distance will allow it, I will walk than drive the car.
Less use of the aircondition even if it is so hot.
Turning all appliances off, not leaving it on stand-by mode.
Save more water when I take a bath.

These are just 8 ways, I’m pretty sure I’ll think of more soon. But I’ll start with these first. Hopefully, if there are more people doing it, we can slow down global warming and there will still be a beautiful place that awaits my son and my future grandkids in the future.

Hurdling My English Exam

Over a month ago I was ranting about me taking the IELTS again. I was quite nervous because the first time I took it, I had one part of the exam re-marked. Most bodies requiring IELTS usually just require a general average of 6, regardless of the band score for each sub-test. But like what I have mentioned in my previous blog, for teachers it is a totally different case. We need to get a general band score of 7.5, a score of at least 8 in Speaking and Listening, and a score of at least 7 in Reading and Writing. Whew! What a requirement. The harder part of it all is that it is the Academic module I need to take.

As soon as I got my confirmed booking, I immediately called my mom and told her to send all my IELTS reviewers I left in Manila. I didn’t want to get harassed again preparing for this exam. I cannot jeopardize the results of this exam because my chance to work as a teacher here in Australia depended on it. When I got my 3 books, my exam was still 3 months away. I told myself that by the time the month is over I have used up all my reviewers already. Little did I know that in the public libraries here, they have a huge collection of IELTS review materials. When I found out about it, the rest as they say is history.

By the time the calendars hit August, my exam month, I barely touched my own review materials, only because I was able to maximize the books available in the libraries. I was panicking already 3 weeks before the test since I really didn’t have the time to sit down and review. My hands were always full with the chores at home (my sis-in-law had a job already), taking care of three kids (2 are my brother’s children) and my part-time job. By the time Liam falls asleep I am dead tired as well. I cannot have the review that I wanted. Good thing 2 weeks before the exam Liam started going to the child care. That gave me two days of review. I tried to overcome the temptations of doing FB and some other chores at home while Liam was away. But most of the time, I failed. The last week before the exam, I think I made big progress because reality hit me already. A day before the exam, I tried to relax and didn’t bother opening a book again.
Finally on the day of the exam, everything was a bit easier than what I expected it to be. I knew I did good in the listening and reading parts, but when the writing part came, oh no! My heart crumbled. The first part was ok. The second part which earned more points was a total disaster. I was hoping against hope that my work will be “better” than the others. Speaking test was okay. I was lucky to have chosen a topic close to my heart, which is my home. At the end of the day I was dead tired but I knew the more difficult task awaits me, that is the waiting time before I finally get the results.

After two weeks, I got my results. I was already thinking of Plan B even before I got the results, just in case my grades didn’t make it. But God is good! All three parts which I think I did good, did yield good marks. I got 8.5 band score for Reading, Listening and Speaking. Let me just tell you that 9 is the highest band score you can get. Well, for my writing, God is good, He gave me just the right grade, which I think I also deserved, a 7. Haha, almost didn’t make it! But glad I did.

So now, I have no more reason to worry (for the next two years at that). I am glad this thing is finally over and I can already shout at the top of my lungs, FREEDOM!!!!!

The Search is Over

The search is finally over. We have finally found and bought our first family car. And it was definitely a good buy. When my husband passed his practical driving test in just one take last May, we already entertained the idea that in a month or two we will have to buy our own car. But it didn’t happen after two months because first I still didn’t pass my practical driving test and second there was really no immediate need to buy one that early. It wasn’t easy going around here in Sydney without a car of your own, especially if you have a 20-month old son, weighing 13 kilograms, in tow all the time. Oh, I forgot to mention the pram as well. So imagine riding some buses which were not pram friendly. I never realized I had that much strength! Kidding aside, I was glad that I was able to experience all these difficulties because I get to appreciate what I have now.

So on the 5th day of August, exactly the same date when our permanent migrant visas were granted, I passed my driving test. You can just imagine what I felt when finally, on my 4th try, I passed my driving test. A week after that my husband started to really look for our first car. We were weighing our reasons when we were ready to purchase a car already. Are we buying a cheaper car which can serve us for 6 months, maximum one year, so we can save on money? Or, are we buying a much expensive car that can serve us for 3 to 5 years already? Buying a brand new car is not among our options as our budget still didn’t allow it. At first we opted for the first option. Cheaper car, shorter time. But we had a hard time looking for that car. Since it was taking some time already to find the car for us, the budget we initially set for the car increased already. Now we changed our minds and opted to choose option 2, more expensive car but longer service time. It was not easy finding the car. There were a lot of other factors that we had to consider. Aside from the price was of course the year the car was manufactured, the total mileage of the car, the registration, the history, the accessories, the over-all package. I wasn’t the one who was painstakingly browsing through all the car websites and checking out all details, it was my husband, but I was getting tired as well. We didn’t stop looking for that car in the internet; we also went to places where most cars are being sold. But we were not lucky. It’s either it was too old, or too expensive, or the transmission was not automatic. Both of us knew how to drive cars with manual transmission back in Manila, but here in Australia, with their gazillion round-abouts, it will be difficult to drive a manual car. It was tiring already and it didn’t help that I started working. I really needed a car because most of the schools I applied to were not commuter friendly. I tried taking the cab on my first day but I spent almost 50 bucks on just one day! It was not practical.

And so the search continued. I prayed, we prayed so hard. In my prayers, I didn’t ask for any sign. I just couldn’t think of any. Will I ask for the plate number? the color? Well, I didn’t, I just knew that God will give us His Spirit and we’ll know if we have found the right car, our first car. Last Sunday, we did.

We tried out a new place this time. My brother, Alvin, Liam and myself went out checking the car garages. We spotted one. But we just told the dealer that we’ll get back after we look around for some more options. And then we saw it, a 2001 Mitsubishi Magna (I think the Magna model is uniquely designed and manufactured only in Australia). In Manila, the Mitsubishi Galant is it’s counterpart. Alvin and my brother took it for a test drive. Liam and I stayed at the office and then the signs just presented themselves one after the other. First, one of the dealer’s name is the name we will be giving for our future baby girl. Sorry, can’t tell you what the name is yet haha. Next, the previous owner is a Filipino. We are Filipinos. Third, the surname of the previous owner was the same as my maiden name. Fourth, the dealer agreed to pull down the price, now making it fit to our budget. When all was settled, the last thing that affirmed that we made the right decision was this: the colour of my rosary. When we were already on our way out of the car garage, I immediately put out my rosary so I can hang it on the rear view mirror. To my surprise, when I pulled out my rosary I saw that its colour exactly matched the colour of the car. It was bronze, a little touch of rusty orange. Not your ordinary colour. And by some twist of fate, our schedules allowed us to have it blessed by a priest also on the day we bought it. Everything went well. All was in place. This search taught me a new lesson. It somewhat affirmed me that like the experience we had to go through in search for the right car, the same will be true for our other concerns. All will fall into place. We will know. And we will be affirmed.

I am glad and thankful that our search is finally over.

The Hardest Part of Christmas

Since I have started writing about Christmas the other day, I might as well continue with it. But this time I’ll be sharing about the things I do to get ready for Christmas.

Come September, I already make my list of family and friends whom I should and would want to buy a gift. To make things easy for me, I do it per category. I start with immediate family of course. Next are my closest relatives. After family and relatives I start listing down the names of my and my husband’s godchildren. I should not miss out on these kids, especially that we are considered as their second parents. It is just sad that most of them don’t get to see us anymore because we have lost contact with their parents. So to our godchildren, we may not see you that often anymore but rest assured that you are not forgotten in our Christmas list. After our godchildren, friends are next. Friends is quite general so I still list per category, they are classified as friends from work, from college, or even from high school. After listing everyone, I still double check it because I might have missed someone. And I wouldn’t want to be on that person’s shoes.

After the listing of names, now comes the listing of possible gifts and the budget allotted. Of course, family members get the highest allocation. I need not elaborate why.
Since the bazaar season has started as well, I grab that opportunity to buy some of the gifts. I start buying the gifts of the people whom I will not be able to see because of the Christmas break. So basically that refers to my friends at work. Slowly thru my frequent visits at these bazaars and malls, I get to complete my Christmas shopping. By the first week of December I am already done with my shopping and now ready to wrap them. By the time the calendar hits the second week of December; my focus has already shifted from gifts to the family activities for the Christmas season --the Noche Buena, Media Noche, the Christmas parties, the other events like weddings or birthdays and the dawn masses. This may also include visiting relatives, gift-giving to the less fortunate, or having an out-of-town trip.

These are just some of the things I usually busy myself with during the Christmas season. I find myself lacking sleep at times, but what the heck, everyone is on the same boat as I do! But sometimes I get to think that people, myself included, usually fall into this kind of trap. This is how we prepare for Christmas. Gifts, parties, reunions. We may find all of these activities as the reasons why we love Christmas so much. But I believe that this is a sad fact because we know that there should be more than just buying presents and reunions. Getting ready for Christmas in the truest sense of the word is the harder part...is the hardest part.

Teaching...again.

Yesterday, I finally started with my first Aussie teaching job. It was an answered prayer. For months now my family has been praying about it and when I finally got a call, the rest as they say is history.

So there I was, ready as ever, hoping that my more than seven years of Primary school teaching experience in Manila has equipped me for my new role. But I was wrong. As soon as I stepped inside the school grounds I knew it woudn’t be an easy day for me. As time ticked I felt that everything was going wrong. To start with, no one even gave me an orientation. 10 to 15 minutes before the bell rang, I still didn’t know whose class I was going to take, what the topics for the day were and the activities as well. It’s like I was left inside a totally dark room looking for my way out. People around don’t seem to care as well. I am thinking they were assuming that I could already handle everything. Finally, the class started. 5 minutes before the class started, the teacher who I was going to replace finally listed down the things I needed to do. I was new to everything. I managed the get hold of the kids’ attention for 30 minutes but after that there was another change in the to-do list. Students from two other classes just went inside my room. I wanted to tell my students to wait as I summarize what we had in the morning, but they were all in a hurry. So there I was trying to do another activity for an hour in a new batch of students. It didn’t help that there were a few students who were being silly and naughty inside. If I were in Manila I would have raised my voice to those kids already and send them out in the classroom. I could have easily done that, but I was in a new country. Rules for kids are strictly implemented. I wouldn’t want to have a record on my first day and be totally banned from teaching. So there I was trying all sort of positive discipline styles. By lunch time I wanted to cry already. Oh how I miss my former school!

I wanted to end the day as soon as possible but for some weird reason, time seemed didn’t fly as fast as I hoped it to be. I had to endure 3 more hours of misadventures and surprises. I was adjusting, trying to unlearn what I had in Manila, but I was also trying to learn the new system I was now in. Can’t thank heaven enough when the final bell rang and the teacher gave me her go signal that all is done for the day. I was disappointed, because I felt I didn’t do well on my first day. I was shaken because everything went so fast and unplanned. No order, no routine, nothing. And it was not me. On my way home I tried to recall everything that happened in school. I was sure glad the day was over. But it made me think as well. It was a wake up call. I am truly out of my comfort zone. I believe that this experience generally gave me an idea of the next teaching jobs to come. Next time hopefully will be better. I am still thankful for this first. I am not complaining, because at the end of the day, whatever happened during the day, it is still a blessing.

My Very Short List

I started playing my Christmas Cd’s last week. The Christmas bug has definitely hit me. The songs we play during this season, makes it more special. The music we have during this season makes the celebration magical. Happy memories are not forgotten because the songs that go with it remain with us. I have been a fan of Christmas songs since I was a kid but I haven’t really sat down and listed my favourites. So here I am now, sharing my Top 5, okay, I’ll see if I can have seven or even more, Christmas songs, the singer and the reason why I love the song as well.

1) The Christmas Song. Nat King Cole. It’s been a favourite since I was on third grade. It’s a classic. I need not elaborate why this is one top of my list. I am pretty sure many of you find yourselves on the same boat. Just to share it was only 4 years ago when I actually learned that the title of this song is The Christmas Song. When I was younger and people asked me what my favourite Christmas song is, I’d tell them its: “Chestnuts roasting” =D

2) Jingles Bells by Frank Sinatra. The first few lines of his rendition is J-I-N-G-L-E bells. While you can hear the bells from the background. The song was unique. It was different from the usual Jingle bell song that starts with “dashing through the snow” that we always hear from the carollers. And hey, it’s Frank Sinatra.

3) Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. I’m pretty sure almost all artists have their own rendition, so I’m not choosing any singer for this. The song is on my list because it tries to inspire the listeners ...”from now on our troubles will be out of sight...” especially now in our problematic world, we really do need some inspiration every now and then.

4) Pasko na Sinta Ko by Gary Valenciano. For the lovebug in me. Well, as they say, Christmas is the time of the year where you’re either in love or out of love.

5) Paskong Walang Hanggan by Philippine Madrigal Singers with Philharmonic Orchestra. This is a new favourite. You don’t usually hear this being played on the radio. Just imagine the intensity of the song while it is being sung by the Madrigal Singers. It is a favourite because it captures everything about how Christmas is back at home.

Well, there you go. That is now my top 5. There are a lot more but I can’t seem to convince myself that they are my favourites, yet. As for the moment, I’ll continue to enjoy the feeling and the joy I experience everytime I listen to these songs. Merry Christmas everyone!

Christmas Blues

I have been getting emotional the past days knowing that Christmas is just around the corner. This will be my first Christmas away from my parents. This will also be my first Christmas away from home. Home as I define it now is Manila. I will have my first Aussie Christmas. Friends and family who have been here in Sydney has been warning us that Christmas here is different from our “Paskong Pinoy.” Well, I agree with them. Even if my family didn’t migrate here in Australia, I must say that the spirit and the entire celebration of Christmas in the Philippines is truly one of a kind. What makes it truly unique? Well, for one, we start celebrating it by the time our calendars hit the first day of September. Yup, the “ber” months is the signal that soon we’ll be hearing the choirs sing Christmas melodies, the radio stations playing the Christmas songs, tiangges in every nook and corner of the city, puto bumbongs and bibingkas. Second, it is unique because of our Simbang Gabi or dawn masses. Who cares if people really didn’t understand a word the priest said in his sermon? As long as they can tell my friends that they were up and about at 4am to perfect their attendance in the Simbang gabi, they are in. Third, people are becoming unusually generous. Well, it’s sad that people’s generosity is just seasonal, but then again, let’s be thankful that even if for a short period of time, more people cared, more people shared, and more people loved.  Now who wouldn’t miss celebrating Christmas at home? No wonder almost all OFW’s would want to book a flight back to Manila by December.

Well, I have to face the harsh truth that this year will be different. I gave in to my emotions a couple of days ago, but I have to snap out of it, soon. Yes, I will terribly miss celebrating it with my closest friends and family, but I also have to move on. So now, I am actually thinking of ways so I won’t miss our Paskong Pinoy. Here’s my list:

1)      Busy myself with a lot of work. That means household chores, mommy duties and wifey duties.

2)      Finish the teacher’s manual for the textbook I co-authored with a friend.

3)      Look for work or a part-time job.

4)      Improve my blogsite and hopefully earn from it soon.

5)      Get in touch with old friends thru FB.

6)      Catch up on my reading.

7)      Organize all pictures taken for the year.

Oh well, I can’t run away from it. Even if I’m here in Australia, the Christmas bug will definitely hit me, so just the same, I’d do some things that are Christmas related. So to continue with my list, I will:

8)      Play my Christmas CDs on the radio.

9)      Start shopping for Christmas gifts for family and new friends based here in Australia.

10)   Wrap presents.

11)   Put up the Christmas tree

12)   And hey, my son is turning 2 as well, so I might as well start preparing for his 2^nd birthday party

13)   Eat and be merry.

Yup, I’ll eat my heart out and celebrate! I have to be happy with what I have now. There’s no use if I continue being sad. Now to fully convince myself, I have to realize and tell myself that the fact of the matter is Christmas is all about Christ. It doesn’t matter where I am or who I’m with. Christmas should go beyond the “feeling”, the gifts and the superficial things. The harder question now is, can I convince myself? =D