Back to Where It All Began

I'm back.

I decided to go back to writing. Time and again, it has proven to be my solace, my avenue, my outlet. Yes, it's been a while since I wrote something and I've missed it. Don't get me wrong, I didn't write not because I didn't have anything to write but because I decided to let go of this battle, in favor of more important ones. Didn't regret that decision. Now I have ton of things to share from the lessons I've learned along the way.

I'm back and I can't wait to start writing, sharing and travelling with all of you again.

Some People

Some people, I can not get.

Some will make you crazy.

Others will make you furious.

Some people will make you question.


Some people will inspire you.

Others will bring out the best in you.

Some will dream with you.

Some people will fall with you.


Some people will love you as you are.

Accept you wholly

Weaknesses and strengths

No questions asked.

Never Stop Dreaming

I wished.

I dreamed.

I hoped.

I worked hard.

By God's grace,

I achieved them,

one day at a time.

Some took years.

New zones.

New challenges.

Difficult.

Rewarding at the end.


And then it happened.

I dreamed again.

But, I put it on hold.

Got busy with some other things.

More important things.

When things settled.

I lost the dream,

Tried to pursue a different one.

By God's grace,

I realized I was off the track.

Now I'm back to that new dream.

Hoping again.

Challenging myself again.

Praying again.

Working on it again.

I am one step closer to that dream.

More steps on my way.

One day at a time.

One challenge at a time.

Soon I know, I'll have to dream again.

We may have achieved most of what we aspired and wished for in life when we were kids.
We might have everything we have wished and prayed for.
But never settle.
Never stop dreaming.
Never stop dreaming, BIG.

Photo from Google.

I'm Cleaning Up My Wardrobe

I'm cleaning up my wardrobe.

And it's not what you think.

I'm filtering and choosing.

I'm letting go of some.

Maybe a few.

Or maybe, a lot.

Life is too short.

We should spend it with people bringing out the best in us.

Looking and keeping those who teach me.

Those who inspire me.

Intelligent conversations.

Wisdom and maturity exudes from them.


I'm cleaning up my wardrobe.

Those times I got lost and superficial too.

Looking back at them I feel embarrassed. Ashamed.

That is not me.

I got lost.

I'm trying to refocus. Cleaning some cobwebs and dust.

Choosing what really matters.

Cleaning up my acts. Removing what's superficial.


I'm cleaning up my wardrobe.

I might have less.

But in the end, I will gain more.

No BIG Secret

How do you react when people praise you for the kind of parenting you do for your kids?

Humbled. Speechless. Thankful. Inspired.

I am no perfect mum. I only have 7 years of experience under my belt and I only have 2 kids to raise so I'm actually shocked to get compliments. I don't consider myself an expert in this area that is why I am grateful to receive compliments from people when they verbalize their admiration on the way I am raising my kids. Some people say I inspire them while others even say that when the time comes they'll have kids, they will actually ask pointers from me. Whoah!

So I'm taking this time to sit and reflect on what made me "successful" for the last seven years. I'll share some of the things that came to my mind.

1. I'm a LEARNER. I think one of the things I was blessed with are "older" friends who have also unselfishly given advice and tips on how they were raising their children. Friends who do not fear sharing the mistakes they made in their journey so young parents like me can learn. I look for inspiring fellow parents who have done and are doing a great job in parenting. My stand that I am always in the Learning Side has done wonders for me. The openness to learn from other people, and from my own mistakes have definitely guided me. My stand that I can always learn from other people and that I am not an expert have helped tremendously! This is why I am also very inspired to share my learnings. Let's just say it's my way of paying it forward. 

2. I READ. Parenting as they say does not come with a handbook so when expert advice are available to make this gigantic task easy and bearable, why not try them? I am not only talking about the new studies to make our kids smarter, more successful, how to support them, how to be like this and like that. I am also talking about their holistic development, their faith included. But having said that, I don't take in everything. I screen and see what will be best for our family. 

3. I WORK WITH A GREAT PARTNER. I am not taking all the credit here. Our kids will not be what they are now if my husband was not with me all throughout.  I take my hats off to Alvin because he has definitely tried his best to be as involved in raising our kids. May it be playing with the kids even when he's dead tired, making it on-time for dinner, teaching the kids, etc. Our "team" usually works where I do the readings I share it with Alvin and we discuss how we can adapt the "style" to our family. We stand as one when dealing with the kids. We don't put one in the "bad spot" so the kids will not end up favoring one parent over the other. 

4. I DON'T EXPECT. I've read some articles or letters of other mums voicing their frustration over their kids who are not "performing" or "achieving." It made me think. Why am I not frustrated with my kids? Don't get me wrong. My kids ARE NOT PERFECT. We don't see them as one. The secret is we don't expect them to be one.  Our kids fight, they whine, they whinge, they complain,  they disobey us sometimes, they get angry, they fight us, they sometimes answer us back. They sometimes drive us to our wits end but why is it that we don't get frustrated with all of these? Alvin and I tried to answer this and the only thing we could think of is we accept them, wholly. Their strengths AND EVEN THEIR WEAKNESSES. We don't have pre-conceived expectations which in turn don't give us any disappointments if ever they do not reach "the bar." We celebrate their achievements, yes, because for us, it's a bonus. We celebrate their uniqueness. We celebrate them. We look and be joyful at what's on our plate and not focus on the others' plates. 

 5. I PRAY. I guess this is no big secret and I think most parents do this. But, yes, that's it, I (we pray) and this takes up the biggest chunk of all the things we've been doing. Everything is anchored in Him! We pray not only for our kids, their concerns, their relationships, their future, their hearts. But we also pray for ourselves, we pray for our imperfections and weaknesses as parents. We pray for strength and guidance. We pray as we raise our children be who God wants them to be. We pray for our relationships with them and them as siblings to one another. If we are just to follow every parenting tip we have read, we'll already probably go nuts! Some contradict the others. So what to do? Pray. Pray for guidance, pray for strength, pray for wisdom. Parenting is no easy task. It's a full-time job in itself. It's physically, mentally, emotionally and financially draining so if we are to rely on our own "wisdom" and strength, we might have thrown out the towel ages ago. But our Lord continues to sustain us.

That's it! What I have written above is totally not something new. I'm pretty sure you've read more or you know more but at this point, I'm just happy to share it :-) I'm also sure marami pa akong kakaining bigas! 

Thank you for reading it :-)

My Inner Light Will Not Fade Away

The family recently had a quick trip up Central Coast and as usual we had some photos taken. And as usual, I shared some of the photos on my FB account. A US-based friend commented on how good the family looked and how happy I looked. I was surprised with the comment because as some of you know, I have been through the worst the past couple of months. I told my friend that I had my share of downs and despite the ugly ending of 2014,  I just chose to dwell on the more important things, I just chose and I choose to be happy.

I am still healing. I suddenly found myself trying to fill up a vacuum. Now, I have plenty of time. Not that I'm complaining but the "extra" time I have now is not in any way helping because I end up going back to what I had to go through towards the end of the year.

How do you even start forgetting people, people whom you looked up to and respected so much, after they have done a very awful and unprofessional thing towards you? How do you even start trusting them again and all the words that come out from their mouths when I have proven myself on how easy it is for them to lie? This last ordeal was not easy for me.  It shook my confidence. It shook my faith towards people. I can't believe that in this day and age there are still people who choose to add to the evil and problems in our society. The ironic thing is, we're supposed to be practising our faith and our beliefs!  I actually thought people like these only exist in TV dramas. It was too late when I realised that I trusted the wrong people. People took advantage of me. People used me.

The advent season became a spiritual journey for me. I was just thankful that I was able to feel His grace by attending the nine-day novena dawn masses in our Parish leading to Christmas. It wasn't easy waking up on the busiest season of the year. But the sacrifice and discipline alone have helped me heal. I looked forward going to church and starting my day that way. For in each reading, each homily, each song -- they all spoke to me. They told me and guided me on how I should handle the whole thing. I could have made a big deal out of this painful experience. I could have put them out in the open, shame them for the very bad thing they did. Destroyed their reputation and their name. BUT, I chose to do otherwise. Each major character in the Gospel taught me lessons. I held on to my faith and like the previous storms I have weathered, my faith have allowed me to go through with it, strong. People who know the real truth have always commended on how strong I was, still managing to do my responsibilities and meet with these people like nothing ever happened. It wasn't easy. There were days I broke down and just cried my heart out. With God's help I was able to make it to the finish line. I walked away that day with my INTEGRITY and VALUES intact and my head held high.

I'm on way towards healing, but with the forgetting part? That's another story. I don't even want to go to Karma. I moved on because I chose to. I moved on because at the end of the day, these people are the ones who do not matter to me. At the end of the day, I get to sleep with  a clean conscience and with a peaceful heart. After everything that have been said and done, my family is healthy, my family is happy, I have my hubby, I have my two beautiful kids. My family, they matter to me more than anyone else in the world. They are the source of my true joy, the joy that radiates from within me.

Good things are coming my way.

"Cause there's, 
There's a light in me
That shines brightly,
They can try, 
But they can't take that away from me
From me"

** Photos taken from Pinterest.

A Blessing Called St. John Vianney

Three years ago, I got a call  from St. John Vianney's Primary School and was asked if I was available to do casual work the next day. I was and so, this chapter of my journey begins.

One day led to a few more days, a few more days led to a few short blocks, and a few short blocks led to a temporary full-time position, the last one being an instrument of blessings and a big blessing in itself. 

How do I even begin? 

SJV has allowed me to re-ignite the passion I have for teaching and share it with people who also do not see it as a job but a vocation. A chance to make a difference in the lives of our students. An opportunity to teach them not only about letters or numbers, but about life itself. To mold them to be men and women of faith and of character. After all, at the end of the day, it is all about our students and not us, teachers. And I would like to believe that everyone in the teaching profession share the same principle.

SJV has allowed me to meet and work with amazing people who did not think twice of sharing their talents, skills, and expertise. Ready to lend a helping hand and answer my never ending questions so I can get things done. I will never forget the first day I did my casual work when one angel, disguised as a colleague have given me reminders before we went to church and celebrated mass with the students that morning. That was just the beginning! From opening their doors so I can attend their Staff Development Days to meet my requirements with BOSTES, to helping me photocopy materials, to laminating visual aids, to even sharing their passwords so I can access shared files, to watching over the class when I needed to go toilet, to swap duties so I cannot miss out on my kids' after-school activities, to letting me use their computers so I can print to the coloured printer, to giving tips when I had my first Parent-Teacher Interviews, and to those who offered help when I needed to write the reports. To those who believed in me and saw the real me. To my colleagues who stopped what they were doing to listen to my stories. And yes, even to those who even shared valuable parenting and holiday tips! It's endless! Everyday was an opportunity to meet angels in disguise.

On a personal note, SJV has given me and my husband the opportunity to go out of our comfort zones so we can both make things work at home, at work, with our studies and with our service -- which I thought was impossible at the beginning. It was an instrument for the two of us to grow together and work together and for that I am forever grateful. 

SJV has given me the opportunity to meet 30 beautiful angels who have taught me more than what I have taught them. The times they taught me the value of patience when I was almost at my wits end. The times they taught me to celebrate life, to be tough, to learn lessons from the wrong choices we've made...the list goes on. 

This year has been truly special. More than the opportunity to teach them to become better readers, writers, artists, mathematicians or athletes, I am happy to know that I was able to touch the lives of my students in the best way I can. The times when they needed someone to listen to them and share their joys, achievements, fears and disappointments -- when they had an argument with Mum, when Dad didn't show up as promised during an assembly, of how the family is faring as Dad tries to battle an illness, of how they went up their swimming class level, of how they fared during their karate class assessment, and of how they showcased their dancing and singing talents within the community. The times when they needed someone to believe in them when everyone else has given up on them. The opportunity to push them because you know they can do it. The times when you needed to be more of a parent, than a teacher. The opportunity to remind myself why I said yes to this calling 15 years ago. All of these, would not have been possible without SJV.

Today, another chapter of my journey ends and I will be bringing along with me all the happy memories I have shared with colleagues, all the lessons I've learned as I tried to become better at this vocation, the new friendships (and hopefully, lasting friendships) I have made. I will forever be grateful and thankful for this blessing, a blessing which is called St. John Vianney.

"1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

Lastly,  a time to let go and a time to move on.