Losing Your Own

Four of my couple friends just lost their little ones yesterday. It is probably one of the worst nightmares of any parent. One was lost even before his parents saw him (still in the early weeks of pregnancy) while the other one did not make it 6 days after being born pre-maturely.

I don't know how it feels. I don't want to pretend that I know because I have never been there, and I hope I won't ever be there. Friends have given their words of comfort and condolences but I know that no amount of comfort can probably take away the grief that these parents have now. Easier said than done.

The closest that I had to losing a loved one was a grandparent or a very good friend. It wasn't too hard for me to go back to "normal" after losing them. But what if it was my own? Can I bear it? I don't know. Only God knows.

Things happen for a reason. Maybe it wasn't meant to be yet for my friends. I would like to think that things will happen for them all in His perfect timing, the way things did for me.

Right now all I can do is let them be, let them mourn, let them feel the pain until they themselves have accepted what happened and have decided that they are ready to go back. Special angels are now watching them, praying for them, praying with them. Losing your own can probably the worst thing you would want. But we take refuge and comfort that when we do lose them, they join our Creator and are in a much happier place than us.

On Time, All the Time?

Closest friends and family knows that I have a tendency to be an OC (Obsessive-Compulsive).I like keeping things in order. I like things neat. I like planning and doing things ahead of time. I like listing down the things I need todo for the day and finishing all of it as well. I was like that until I had Liam. Liam is my precious little boy. Oh how he changed my life (I'm pretty sure my husband as well)! Being a full time (in the fullest sense of the word -- no help or yayas) wife and mom now suddenly made my hands full. Never a dull moment at home. Taking care of my little boy takes a lot of time already. So imagine what I feel when I see a lot of chores still waiting to be done. I go crazy. Correct. I finally admitted to myself that I cannot be an OC as I used to be or as I want me to be. This is if I want to stay sane. It drives me crazy seeing things not in order, doing things a bit late, delaying some of the things I enjoy doing the most. It was hard at the start. I thought I'd not survive but after more than a year, I've managed to survive. I still have the OC in me but I've managed to tone it down a bit. I've let go of some of the things in order to give priority to more important things. So will it still be on time all the time for me? Not anymore. Maybe sometimes. Life is too short to spend it on things that really don't matter in the end.