Has it only been three weeks? Yes. It has only been three weeks since Sam's arrival and yet our lives have never been the same since she came. We are adjusting and adapting. We are all learning.
Ang dami kong gustong isulat pero pagnaiisip ko yung gugugulin kong oras sa pagsusulat, medyo nanghihinyang ako. Una, tiyempo lang na natutulog ng mahimbing si Sam ngayon kaya ako ay nagkaroon ng libreng oras. Pangalawa, abala sa panonood ng TV at pakikipaglaro sa mga pinsan niya si Liam. But there are days when everything is chaotic! Liam has this tendency to do silly things because he is attracting attention. I think it has dawned on him that Sam is here and this little baby is getting the attention that before was given to him, a 100% anytime, all the time. There are days when he is being sensible but there are days when I know that he is just being a kid-- showing signs of his adjustment to all this new situation, as well. My heart goes out for him when I tend to reprimand him already and ask him to play or go down so as not to disturb his sister. The thing that makes me guiltier is the fact that he does go down and plays by himself! I still have to establish our time -- Liam time together -- I want to make this a sacred time for the two of us, everyday. I think I can do that now, but I think I still have to wait until my in-laws go home to Manila. Why? Because if I establish it now and break when his Lolo and Lola goes home, he might be upset and might have a negative effect on him.
Ang hirap pala! Si Sam minsan halos buong araw matulog pero may mga araw na ayaw niya magpalapag! Mas nakakaloka kung sabay silang nanghihingi ng atensyon ng kuya niya! Kahapon, nagkaroon kami ng praktis ni Alvin, kaming 2 lang at ang mga bata habang namasyal sa city ang mga Lolo at Lola. Isa lang ang masasabi ko. NAKAKAPAGOD! From the preparation time, to the time we got home, there was no dull moment! The only time I got to sit down was during toilet break or when Sam is latched with me. But I still don't get to rest when I am breastfeeding, maybe because there is a million and one things that goes in my mind. Yep, I've lowered down the bar already. I think I have improved when in comes to lowering my OC-ness level :D Toys or magazines scattered? Clean clothes that needs folding? Hayaan sila diyan na nakakalat!
I am learning. I am seing an inner strength and physical strength I never knew I had. I am capable of delaying meal time so I can attend first to the needs of my kids. I have learned to appreciate the help given by my in-laws now that they are here (thankfully, they have extended their stay for two more weeks!). Of course there are days when I just want to give up! I need some pampering, that is for sure! Things will get more challenging, physically and emtionally, but I know things will get better as well. I am proud of what I have become and I am taking all these challnges positively, because at the end of it all, I know that I will also become a better person.
