A Whole New Set of Firsts - Part 2

Now, back to my story.

As I have said, my new set of experiences are starting to become a nightmare for me. Day 2 (Sunday around 8am). Still groggy and tired, happy that Alvin with Liam in tow, was now with me. They attached a machine on my legs to prevent blood clot and gave me pain killers. I guess seeing Liam very excited and the pain killers allowed me to survive the day. But not for long, as per hospital rules, visiting hours in the morning are up to 1pm only so Alvin had to bring Liam home by 1pm. (I'll write a different blog regarding Liam and Sam's first encounter). Alvin got back at the hospital at around 3pm already. He stayed there until around 9:30pm though he was allowed to stay until 10pm. I didn't want want him to stay so late because we have another one at home, waiting for him. I didn't want Sam's arrival to be a bad experience for Liam. During the time that Alvin went home up until he came back, I managed because I had pain killers. Though I was still bed-bound due to the machine attached to my feet and of course because of the catheter and dextrose still attached to me. But mind you, at around 930 am, a midwife really asked me to stand up and have a shower already. Again, as I have said, I managed because Alvin was with me.

So when he went home that was when things started getting crazy again. Sam was not as cooperative like she was during the first night. I tried to latch her and she kept on sucking for almost two hours. She'd doze off but when she realizes she has stopped sucking she'll cry all over again. My powers this time was very limited because even if I wanted to cuddle her I still can't. I still can't stand up. I buzzed the nurse for help and it took ages before she got to me (I actually support the demand of midwives and nurses here in NSW one2four campaign because of this experience). When she saw me and saw Sam crying, her first question was: "Are you from the CS section? Why are you not standing up and walking around?" My reaction, though I just kept it to myself was, "hello?! have you been under the knife?!" All I could answer was, I just had my CS in the morning, my dextrose and catheter were still attached to me so even if I wanted to I still can't. And added that I have tried to do everything to settle Sam, including breasfeed her but she is still cranky. Thank heavens she understood me (or probably I really looked terrible already haha) she got Sam and told me that she'll try to settle Sam. If Sam does not settle, they'll give her the formula already since she can see some signs from Sam that she is still hungry. Explaining that even after latching to me for two hours, probably the milk that I had was still not enough. We still didn't have any formula with us and what I brought was the Medela feeding cup (we didn't want to introduce the bottle yet afraid that if we introduce it to her too early she might not latch and feed with me anymore), when I explained all these to the midwife, she told me that they had bottles and formula available so I need not worry. As for the feeding cup story, she just told me that this was a myth so even if I was a bit apprehensive, I gave in. Anyway, I couldn't do anything anymore to settle Sam and her comfort was my priority. But before the midwife left, she told me that tom I should be up and about already. That was around 12am and I was able to rest since Sam was returned to me at 6am. Though I really didn't get a sound sleep as cries of babies will really let you stay up. And I was thinking if it was actually Sam who was crying. But the fact that I was alone and Sam was not with me, did give me the break that I needed. Again, the delivery of our breakfast was our wake-up call (nakakainis kasi Pinoy yung mga nagdedeliver at talagang kalabog to the max ang mga gamit nila!).


Alvin came in a bit late today because Liam and his parents were scheduled to visit us that day. This was Monday. They finally removed the pump attached to my legs and removed my catheter and the dextrose (but still had to wee two times before the needle was pulled out from hand). Finally, freedom! :D Baby Sam got her Hepa B shot and her Hearing Test today, which were both for free. Here's the thing, when one of the midwives asked us up to when do we think will we stay at the hospital, we told her probably around Wednesday, thinking that the Dr has yet to see me and advise us when I can go home. To our surprise, the midwife told us that it was actually US, who called the shots as to when we want to go home! What?! Oh ok. Anyways, if ever we decide to go home, a midwife will still visit me and Sam at home. Alvin stayed with me at the hospital until 8pm only. From 8pm onwards I was again alone in-charge with our little bub. At around 12am (Tuesday, 23 November) I was already exhausted. It was a struggle for me everytime I needed to go to the toilet. Aside from the soreness I felt on the cut that I had, I also had to bring Sam with me everytime I needed to wee. Breastfeeding discomforts were starting as well. I found myself crying already because I felt so alone, tired and overwhelmed by everything that have happened since I gave birth early Sunday morning. I can't stand spending another night like this at the hospital. I just found it really ironic becuase when they ask how I was and I tell them I still felt sore etc., they would reply "It's normal, of course you do, you had a major operation!" but they expect us to move around already and care for our bubs like we just didn't undergo a major operation. Post-natal blues? Probably. WHat kept me sane? Sam. By around 130 am, Sam on the bassinet, I had to walk and get her some formula at the Nursery there I found some "inspiration and strength" seeing other mommies doing exactly what I was doing, feeding, taking charge of their little bub. It gave me the push that I needed, if they can do it, why can't I. That pulled me through until Alvin came back first thing in the morning (I already texted him that I needed him early at the hospital or else I'll go nuts!). He was supposed to pick up Liam after lunch to visit us again but when the Pediatrician and OB already checked on me and Sam (Sam had her Newborn Screening earlier today, again it was for free) an idea came to me -- since the last two medical procedures/checks were already done, I can very much go home! So we asked if it was possible for me to go home already. One midwife didn't allow me to go home and told me that since I was under the Csection, the earliest that I can go home is Wednesday morning. I felt my excitement going down the drain. But the thing here is, there was another midwife who was allowing us to go home and even fixed our house visit for the following day. The two had a little argument but to make the long story short, since the Pedia and the OB stated on my books that I can go home already should I decide to go home, I was allowed to go home. I was so excited and happy! The funny thing was, no one checked our bands (mum and bub's band if it matched) when we got out of the hospital. No security checks whatsoever.

Since going home Tuesday evening, I have slowly regained my strength and I think my recovery (physical and emotional) was better and faster because I was at home. Looking back at what I had to go through it was another opportunity for me to grow as an individual and it allowed me to see what I am capable of doing all for the sake of my little bub. Some people did warn me about this but I didn't expect it was this bad. Maybe the hormones added to my being emotional, but what the heck, this experience taught me lessons again and made me a better (tougher) person. It proved that I can push myself even if it was very hard if it involved my child (children).

In the last 4 days that I was home we have had 2 visits from the midwife and 1 visit from the Community Health nurse. I am re-learning and learning new tricks on parenting and I am only but grateful for this help and support which is easily made available to us, all for free. It is now Saturday and I can't believe that it has been a week since this colorful chapter of my journey has started. I and my husband are now sleep-deprived because of changing nappies, making formula (as a supplement until my milk supply becomes enough for each feed of Sam) and of breastfeeding. Tired, yes! But in the end, when you see your little bub, you come to realize, everything is all worth it!

A Whole New Set of Firsts - Part 1

This was my second pregnancy but the exprience presented a lot of whole new firsts for me (and for hubby as well) making this experience totally different from my first one.

Aside from planning (and praying) for this pregnancy, this was my first time to get pregnant in a different place (Australia) with different people of different cultural backgrounds and different practices. When I started with my pre-natal check ups, I already had a feeling that the next nine months will be different. And true enough, aside from hubby not being with me almost all the time (there are no clinics on weekends when he is available) my doctor's sched was only on Tuesdays from 9 am to 11 am, I was also seen in less than 5 minutes for every check up. They do not perform an IE which they normally do in Manila. They do not touch the patient except of course when measuring the fundal height and listening to the Doppler. I specifically chose a Filipina doctor so it will be a lot easier for me and I will feel more at home. But lo and behold, on the day of my check up, two different doctors looked after me. Of couse, I asked towards the end of the session where was my doctor, and I found out that my doctor was already a consultant. She will not meet all the patients, only those who have real pressing problems in the pregnancy will be allowed to see her. Oh okay. Since everything was okay with me, they didn't see any need for me to see her. But in the succeeding sessions, when I had some questions and they were not sure about it, they'd leave me for a couple of minutes in the room to consult with the Filipina doctor. I almost forgot, in the nine months that I had my visits, every 3 or 4 weeks a new doctor was seeing me. It was frustrating on my part towards the end of the pregnancy since I found myself repeating and retelling the story and answers to questions previous doctors have already asked me (when in fact everything is already on my file)! And to top of it all, none of the doctors who saw me will be present on the day of my elective CS! How's that?! WHoever was on duty on the day of my CS will be the one in-charge of my operation, everything that this doctor should know about my case should be on the book/records.

Well, one very good thing about it though is that, in all nine months and my delivery included, we didn't shell out a single centavo! Yup, everything was for free! And for that we are thankful. It is a blessing whatever way you see it. I was just thinking, if I was in Manila I'm pretty sure I'd be working doubly hard to save for the day of my delivery. I wonder how much a CS operation now costs in Manila!

Next set of firsts: it was the first time that I was actually awake when my child was born. I did not do trial labor anymore but since my contractions were becoming more painful and regular and I was just a day away from my scheduled CS they decided to push through with my CS. I chose epidural among the medicines available, it means that only half of my body was numb and I will be awake during the procedure. It was a great experience to see my baby girl fresh out of my womb! Of course there was a feeling of tugging and pulling while being operated on but that is all part of the process. I enjoyed it!

Next, it was the first time that Alvin was with me althroughout the procedure! He saw me when the doctors started punching in those big needles...he saw me during the painful part, he saw baby Sam come out and he did not faint! hehehe I guess this was a bonding experience for the two of us as well as he was able to have a glimpse of what I had to go through (women at that) during childbirth and I think this new experience made him appreciate me more (and women at that) :D

Are you ready for more? Next, during recovery. I realized that after this experience, Mommies in Manila are very lucky because they are pampered! I mean with Liam before, I called the shots. The doctor will wait for you to be well before admitting you on your room, the doctor will give you a choice if you want the baby roomed-in after the birth. Here? Well, the time I spent in recovery was just, are you ready for this? less than 30 minutes! Yes! I was dizzy and all because of the exhaustion and the medicines' effect were starting to wear off...but the doctor kept on insisting that I can't sleep...because if I sleep it will take longer for me to be with my bub! Every five minutes or so the doctor in charge will ask me series of questions, like, can you feel this? Where am I touching you? etc. Feeling so very dizzy and weak I can just manage to nod my head...but she's not happy with that! I need to answer her questions, as in verbally answer her! That was the longest 30 minutes of my life! It was a real torture! After that 30 minutes and the doctor felt that I was ok already she gave instructions that I be put in my room already.

When I got into the room after 5 minutes, Alvin and Sam joined me already. That was around 3am already! I thought that Alvin will already be allowed to stay for the night, but no! AT 3:30 am he had to go home becuase it was the regulation of the hospital! Imagine, I had a major operation, a CS operation, I had 30 minutes of recovery and after that I was already responsible with my baby alone! As in all by myself! I was too tired to get emotional! The first night I was so thankful that Sam cooperated! I wasn't still functioning well and normally so I just cuddled her and slept. She slept on top of me (skin to skin contact which is actually good as well). By 6:30 am I awoke by the banging of utensils, apparently our breakfast is now being delivered. I was struggling because the morphine they gave me was wearing off and one side effect was that I kept on vomitting! Mind you Sam was with me and Alvin was still at home! I was so relieved when Alvin got back to the hospital. At least someone was there to give me the support and help that I truly needed! Things are starting to become a nightmare for me!

Bitin ba? That ends part 1, will share my part 2 next time :D