I sat in Liam's room this morning, slowly preparing the Mummy bag and baby bag, then my gaze suddenly fell on my big belly reflected on the mirror. Clueless. That is the word that I would like to use to describe the state that I am in. I really can't believe that in 8 (or 7, hopefully it is 7) week's time there will be another kid at home, that I'll be a mom of two, that I'll be already accountable for two children and that I'll be already responsible to two children!
The whole idea of being in-charge to two kids is still a very huge idea for me and I am allowing myself to grasp it slowly. Looking back at the last 2 years and 9 months, I can say that we got lucky with Liam because he didn't give us a hard time when he was born. He was never a fussy and demanding kid. We breezed through his first two years. It is actually now that we find ourselves challenged with him because he is in the terrible 2s and 3s stage. We can really see and experience that he is testing the waters already. Of course, it is challenging because at times that you just want to give in to his whims and wants (especially when he puts up a tantrum), you just can't. This is the best time to lay the rules for him. This is the best time to discipline him. So how about Samantha? As they say eack kid is unique? Will she be as easy to handle like his Kuya Liam? I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
So what is in store for me when Samantha comes out? Sleepless nights? Physical exhaustion? Finally letting go of my control issues? Finally letting go of my OC-ness? A toddler on one hand, a newborn on the other hand. So when and where does "me" time and being a spouse come in? A home to be managed -- cleanliness, chores, time and finances to be managed as well. I need to be a homemaker, a spouse, and a mother not only to Liam but to Samantha as well. I have to make sure that I get to spend time not only with Sam but with Liam too! It's sooo overwhelming! I remember what my hubby used to say when faced with uncertain circumstances -- Hope for the best, expect for the worst. SO now that I am still faced with the unknown and I am still clueless of what is in store for me in a couple more weeks, I just rest my worries looking up to the million of moms, my mom included, who managed to work, raise 5 kids (or more) and still managed to be a homemaker.
