Humbled. Speechless. Thankful. Inspired.
I am no perfect mum. I only have 7 years of experience under my belt and I only have 2 kids to raise so I'm actually shocked to get compliments. I don't consider myself an expert in this area that is why I am grateful to receive compliments from people when they verbalize their admiration on the way I am raising my kids. Some people say I inspire them while others even say that when the time comes they'll have kids, they will actually ask pointers from me. Whoah!
So I'm taking this time to sit and reflect on what made me "successful" for the last seven years. I'll share some of the things that came to my mind.
1. I'm a LEARNER. I think one of the things I was blessed with are "older" friends who have also unselfishly given advice and tips on how they were raising their children. Friends who do not fear sharing the mistakes they made in their journey so young parents like me can learn. I look for inspiring fellow parents who have done and are doing a great job in parenting. My stand that I am always in the Learning Side has done wonders for me. The openness to learn from other people, and from my own mistakes have definitely guided me. My stand that I can always learn from other people and that I am not an expert have helped tremendously! This is why I am also very inspired to share my learnings. Let's just say it's my way of paying it forward.
2. I READ. Parenting as they say does not come with a handbook so when expert advice are available to make this gigantic task easy and bearable, why not try them? I am not only talking about the new studies to make our kids smarter, more successful, how to support them, how to be like this and like that. I am also talking about their holistic development, their faith included. But having said that, I don't take in everything. I screen and see what will be best for our family.
3. I WORK WITH A GREAT PARTNER. I am not taking all the credit here. Our kids will not be what they are now if my husband was not with me all throughout. I take my hats off to Alvin because he has definitely tried his best to be as involved in raising our kids. May it be playing with the kids even when he's dead tired, making it on-time for dinner, teaching the kids, etc. Our "team" usually works where I do the readings I share it with Alvin and we discuss how we can adapt the "style" to our family. We stand as one when dealing with the kids. We don't put one in the "bad spot" so the kids will not end up favoring one parent over the other.
4. I DON'T EXPECT. I've read some articles or letters of other mums voicing their frustration over their kids who are not "performing" or "achieving." It made me think. Why am I not frustrated with my kids? Don't get me wrong. My kids ARE NOT PERFECT. We don't see them as one. The secret is we don't expect them to be one. Our kids fight, they whine, they whinge, they complain, they disobey us sometimes, they get angry, they fight us, they sometimes answer us back. They sometimes drive us to our wits end but why is it that we don't get frustrated with all of these? Alvin and I tried to answer this and the only thing we could think of is we accept them, wholly. Their strengths AND EVEN THEIR WEAKNESSES. We don't have pre-conceived expectations which in turn don't give us any disappointments if ever they do not reach "the bar." We celebrate their achievements, yes, because for us, it's a bonus. We celebrate their uniqueness. We celebrate them. We look and be joyful at what's on our plate and not focus on the others' plates.
5. I PRAY. I guess this is no big secret and I think most parents do this. But, yes, that's it, I (we pray) and this takes up the biggest chunk of all the things we've been doing. Everything is anchored in Him! We pray not only for our kids, their concerns, their relationships, their future, their hearts. But we also pray for ourselves, we pray for our imperfections and weaknesses as parents. We pray for strength and guidance. We pray as we raise our children be who God wants them to be. We pray for our relationships with them and them as siblings to one another. If we are just to follow every parenting tip we have read, we'll already probably go nuts! Some contradict the others. So what to do? Pray. Pray for guidance, pray for strength, pray for wisdom. Parenting is no easy task. It's a full-time job in itself. It's physically, mentally, emotionally and financially draining so if we are to rely on our own "wisdom" and strength, we might have thrown out the towel ages ago. But our Lord continues to sustain us.
That's it! What I have written above is totally not something new. I'm pretty sure you've read more or you know more but at this point, I'm just happy to share it :-) I'm also sure marami pa akong kakaining bigas!
Thank you for reading it :-)
