The past few days as well, I have had chance encounters with fellow mums and I just found myself reflecting on motherhood.
Here are some of it:
Are mothers born or are they made?
Like what my older mum-friends have told me just before I had Liam, motherhood will change me. And it did. I did things that I never thought of doing. Doing things came out naturally. Changing diapers, washing clothes, tidying up their mess (not to mention soiled clothes), nursing them, putting them to sleep, bathing them, cooking for them, and doing crazy and corny stuff for them -- reading books with voices and feelings, acting out, making silly sounds, dancing, jumping and playing with and like them (I mean, really levelling with them, acting like kids. This list also includes the natural tendencies of moms to discipline (and instill discipline) to their kids, especially when they are some place else (especially, when they are in other people's homes). I thought all moms are alike, you know, that there's like this invincible common denominator that makes people call us "mothers." Guess I was wrong. I am surprised to see some who acts as if motherhood is done as soon as they have given birth to their bub. There are plenty of like that here. Sad to say. (Siguro kasi here, the more kids you have the higher ang government allowance mo, so yung iba, anak na lang ng anak).
Just last night, I was actually telling Alvin the story of a fellow mum in Sam's Gymbaroo class. Before I told him the story, I told him, I am not judging the mum, because I don't know her personally, I am not seeing the bigger picture. But I was just amazed because it was my first time to see a mum na talagang dead-ma. As in. During equipment time, di niya tinutulungan. Di niya prino-prompt. Hinahayaan lang talaga niya. And come activity time, pag lumalayo yung anak niya, tinitignan lang niya. Yung tingin pa niya, blank stare, even if her kid is starting to annoy other kids. During Ttime, kids are supposed to wait for the thing that they brought and get it from Teacher Jo. Yung anak niya, kig nilalabas ni Teacher Jo. Medyo nakikipagagawan na siya sa Teacher, pero si Mum? Dead-ma pa rin! As in! Kapag kinuha ni Teacher Jo yung gamit sa bub niya, iiyak pero dead-ma pa rin si Mum! I am just amazed. Si Sam naman and the other kids, may ganoong episodes din, minsan di nagpa-participate or nakikigulo, pero the other mums know when to intervene when they see their kid crossing the boundary na. I got the feeling na Teacher Jo was just waiting for the mum to intervene na, kaso, wala nga. Sabi ko kay Alvin, di ko alam kung sino ang special, si Mum or si bub. Sabi ko nga ayaw ko mag judge kasi baka naman during Gymbaroo time, yun na lang ang breathing time ni Mum from bub. Baka it is the only place and time na pwedeng magdead-ma si Mum, dahil naaliw si bub. Pero sobrang dead-ma naman yun. Ang hirap magsalita kasi lalo na kung special case si bub, at ako yung nasa position ni mum, baka maging ganoon din ako ka-deadma.
After being a mum for only 5 years, I can't and I won't say that I am already an expert in this field. I know I still have a LOT of things to learn. I just consider myself lucky to have been given two wonderful children, who, at the time of this writing, has not given me any major headaches or worry, aside from their usual and normal bouts and episodes of whining, crying, and cheekiness.I can say that their behaviours are within normal and thankfully, no problems whatsoever in achieving developmental milestones.
I think it also helped that I got to read a book before I had Liam sharing stories of the "darker" side of motherhood. You know, it's not all perfect. It prepared me to be realistic and to see motherhood on both sides.
Well, so much for this.
As I end this reflection on Mothers' Day, let me share this story I received from the e-mail last week and let me greet all of the mums out there: Happy Mothers' Day!
A Newborn's Conversation with God
A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow,
but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"
God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have
to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."
God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you.
And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."
Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand
when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"
A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow,
but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"
God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have
to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."
God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you.
And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."
Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand
when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"
God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words
you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will
teach you how to speak."
"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach
you how to pray."
"Who will protect me?"
God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."
"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach
you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth
could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave
now, please tell me my angel's name."
God said, You will simply call her, "Mom."
