"What are you going to do with your older one?"
"What about him?"
"Well, he has been the only child at home for almost three years and when the little one comes in he should be ready. You shoul deal with this because if you don't your older one can make your life extremely difficult."
That was how my conversation with the midwife went during my initial pre-natal check up. Wow, I was afraid of that happening, hearing horror stories from friends, but I didn't know it was that serious! With no yayas around to rely on for help, I knew I had to attend to this concern. And of course, I wouldn't want my kids growing up having some grunt towards one another. So from that day on, we included this concern to our daily prayers.
Looking at Liam now and how he treats his little sister, I can say that another prayer has been answered. The efforts to prepare him mentally and emotionally for Sam's arrival are paying off.
Some of the things that we did:
1. Liam was with me during my pre-natal check-ups with the doctor. From the first one, to ultrasound sessions, up to the last check-up. He was with me.
2. Letting Liam talk with the baby and eventually introducing him to Sam (once we were 100% sure of the gender) even if Sam was still inside my belly.
3. Letting Liam kiss my belly, sing to Sam as well.
4. Asking and giving Liam situations that involves Sam. Questions like, "What would you do if Sam is crying? Will you sing to your baby sister also? Will you share this toy with Sam?" and many more questions.
5. Giving him responsibilities like getting the nappy or wipes when Sam needs nappy changing. Getting him involved.
6. Asking him to pray for his baby sister.
7. Preparing a gift to Liam from Sam on the day he first saw his sister.
8. Not allowing any visitors, including other relatives or grandparents, except Liam the day after I gave birth. That way, as explained by the midwife, he is given the chance to see and explore the arrival of his sister. As we all know, if there are other visitors, it is expected that they will dot on the newborn and that might lead for the other child to feel left-out.
9. Constant reassurances that we love him even if Sam is here already. We cuddle him, hug him and say I Love You to him as often as possible. Praising him if does a good deed and if he had an accomplishment.
10. Trying our best to have Liam time (just me and him or just him and his Papa).
11. Constant prayers for guidance from BRO.
Again, I am thankful and lucky perhaps, that I and Alvin didn't have to go thru the nightmare of having to address negative reactions from Liam on the arrival of Sam -- like doing silly things just as so to attract attention, or saying things that might reflect jealousy on his part. It still is a long way to go, but for now, I guess we managed to surpass Challenge number 1.
Sometimes the problem now with Liam is he just can't keep his hands and lips off his sister! Hahaha! Parating nanggigigil! He likes to sleep beside Sam, he likes to cuddle and kiss baby Sam. And sometimes, when I am busy and doing a chore and can't attend to Sam right away, to my amazement, he tries to soothe baby Sam when she cries by playing her musical mobile or her toy dog, all by himself.
Thank you to friends who gave pieces of advice. Articles that gave ideas. And of course to that midwife, who started it all. You are all heaven-sent. It is all now paying off.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
My Dear Lil Bro
I just came back from a simple dinner at my sister's house. It was her birthday last 26 January and it also served as a despedida to our youngest brother, Beloy, or Bok as we fondly call him, who is in a short holiday here in Sydney.
Tomorrow morning he flies back to Manila.
Time flies. I remember that it was thru him and taking care of him that I had my first taste of how it is to care for a baby. I was 8 already when he was born and we didn't have any help so we really took turns in taking care of him. I was his Nanay Jeana.
He slept beside me, I put him to sleep until I ran out of songs to sing or I fell asleep before he did, I planned his 5th birthday party, gave my savings so he can have a birthday cake for that party.
We were not the best of friends but we got along pretty well. I am a proud ate, of his many achievements. We can talk serious matters or trivial matters -- movies, books, writing, cooking, Ateneo (hahaha)
In his very short stay here in Sydney, I was happy to see him take care of his nephews and nieces, especially with Baby Sam :D I thank the Lord for Skype because the kids knew him and it didn't take too long for them to be at home with one another.
I know that the Lord has good plans for him, especially with the matters of the heart. I hope he will be blessed with a good partner soon, like I have been.
I will miss him, the kids will surely miss their Tito Bokyo.
Thank you Bok for spending three weeks with us, I'm glad you enjoyed your stay here and see you again soon!
Labs you!
Tomorrow morning he flies back to Manila.
Time flies. I remember that it was thru him and taking care of him that I had my first taste of how it is to care for a baby. I was 8 already when he was born and we didn't have any help so we really took turns in taking care of him. I was his Nanay Jeana.
He slept beside me, I put him to sleep until I ran out of songs to sing or I fell asleep before he did, I planned his 5th birthday party, gave my savings so he can have a birthday cake for that party.
We were not the best of friends but we got along pretty well. I am a proud ate, of his many achievements. We can talk serious matters or trivial matters -- movies, books, writing, cooking, Ateneo (hahaha)
In his very short stay here in Sydney, I was happy to see him take care of his nephews and nieces, especially with Baby Sam :D I thank the Lord for Skype because the kids knew him and it didn't take too long for them to be at home with one another.
I know that the Lord has good plans for him, especially with the matters of the heart. I hope he will be blessed with a good partner soon, like I have been.
I will miss him, the kids will surely miss their Tito Bokyo.
Thank you Bok for spending three weeks with us, I'm glad you enjoyed your stay here and see you again soon!
Labs you!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Simple Joys.
Waking up beside my husband and my two children. Cuddled and being kissed. Seeing the smile on Andrea's face when I talk to her. Having my daily walks with my son, Liam Sebastian, to his pre-school, without any complaints from him. Seeing him play and enjoy the company of his friends and his cousins. Simple joys.
Liam sharing stories of the things he did in school with much gusto! Hearing him pray for children who don't have toys during our family morning prayer. Learning, memorizing, and reciting his first traditional prayer, Angel of God, a few months before he turned 3. Liam learning how to pray as if he was just talking to his friend. The things and the people he prays for that surprises us. Identifying all the letters of the alphabet and numbers 0-9 early. Spelling and writing his name by himself. Hearing praises and positive feedback from his teachers or even strangers! Liam always asking permission before doing something. Liam patiently waiting for his turn. Liam taking care of his sister. Sleeping at night without any nappy.Simple joys.
Liam's dream of becoming a pollen jock (see Bee movie) or a bus driver or a train driver and how he tells us about it (his facial expression and all!)
Andrea Samantha's giggles when I play with her. Her chubby cheeks. Her popeye arms and legs. Her smell. Seeing Alvin cuddle, play with her, put her to sleep or even bathe her. Seeing her cousins take care of her. Alvin and Liam having their father-son bonding -- playing their RC toys, doing puzzles, doing chores at home. Simple joys.
A much needed massage from Alvin. A hug from him. Texts from Alvin during the day -- eat lunch, how are my babies, how is mama, i love you. Overcoming unfounded fears and worries. Solving a problem as a family. An email from a friend. A surprise call from friends and family. Heaven-sent messages. Simple joys.
Lazy weekends. Beautiful weather. Long-drives. Biking at the Park. Fish feeding. Swimming at the beach. Breathing fresh and clean air. Going to mass as a family. Praying as a family. Ending the day with Alvin, Liam and Sam at my side -- happy and healthy. Simple joys.
Liam sharing stories of the things he did in school with much gusto! Hearing him pray for children who don't have toys during our family morning prayer. Learning, memorizing, and reciting his first traditional prayer, Angel of God, a few months before he turned 3. Liam learning how to pray as if he was just talking to his friend. The things and the people he prays for that surprises us. Identifying all the letters of the alphabet and numbers 0-9 early. Spelling and writing his name by himself. Hearing praises and positive feedback from his teachers or even strangers! Liam always asking permission before doing something. Liam patiently waiting for his turn. Liam taking care of his sister. Sleeping at night without any nappy.Simple joys.
Liam's dream of becoming a pollen jock (see Bee movie) or a bus driver or a train driver and how he tells us about it (his facial expression and all!)
Andrea Samantha's giggles when I play with her. Her chubby cheeks. Her popeye arms and legs. Her smell. Seeing Alvin cuddle, play with her, put her to sleep or even bathe her. Seeing her cousins take care of her. Alvin and Liam having their father-son bonding -- playing their RC toys, doing puzzles, doing chores at home. Simple joys.
A much needed massage from Alvin. A hug from him. Texts from Alvin during the day -- eat lunch, how are my babies, how is mama, i love you. Overcoming unfounded fears and worries. Solving a problem as a family. An email from a friend. A surprise call from friends and family. Heaven-sent messages. Simple joys.
Lazy weekends. Beautiful weather. Long-drives. Biking at the Park. Fish feeding. Swimming at the beach. Breathing fresh and clean air. Going to mass as a family. Praying as a family. Ending the day with Alvin, Liam and Sam at my side -- happy and healthy. Simple joys.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Back to Reality
Yep, it's back to reality for me. For us. My in-laws are coming home to Manila tomorrow. Am I ready? I guess so. I have prepared myself physically, emotionally and mentally for this. My only wish is I won't be too uptight especially with my kids and eventually remove the happy spirit within them because I am so stressed with things at home. I pray not. I hope not. I will be no death-eater! hehehe
The last six months with them did pass by so quickly. It was an experience with many realizations and lesson learned. I know that they will surely miss their apos. I know that their apos, especially Liam, will feel the same. Oh well, life must go on. This is the road we decided to take and there is no turning back. In two months' time we'll be celebrating our second year here in Sydney and I can say that life has been good. Australia has been good to us so I really can't complain with what is in store for me, for us, starting tomorrow. A bit scared? Of course! But I know we'll manage it, we can do it together. After all, it's one of the beautiful things Sydney has done for us, always making it, doing it, surpassing it--the challenges, together.
It has been a busy month, with Sam's Christening happening just last week, and the trips that we have been making to tour Daddy and Mommy and my youngest brother, Beloy, around Sydney. Once they go home, it will get busier for me.
Now, I just look forward to October or November, for our trip back to Manila to visit our family and friends. We will surely see to it that we'll make the most our of our short holiday there. See you all in ten months!
The last six months with them did pass by so quickly. It was an experience with many realizations and lesson learned. I know that they will surely miss their apos. I know that their apos, especially Liam, will feel the same. Oh well, life must go on. This is the road we decided to take and there is no turning back. In two months' time we'll be celebrating our second year here in Sydney and I can say that life has been good. Australia has been good to us so I really can't complain with what is in store for me, for us, starting tomorrow. A bit scared? Of course! But I know we'll manage it, we can do it together. After all, it's one of the beautiful things Sydney has done for us, always making it, doing it, surpassing it--the challenges, together.
It has been a busy month, with Sam's Christening happening just last week, and the trips that we have been making to tour Daddy and Mommy and my youngest brother, Beloy, around Sydney. Once they go home, it will get busier for me.
Now, I just look forward to October or November, for our trip back to Manila to visit our family and friends. We will surely see to it that we'll make the most our of our short holiday there. See you all in ten months!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Investment for Health
"When young, you abuse your health to achieve wealth...later on, you spend all your wealth to regain your health"
Makes sense, right?
It was what my father-in-law told us during one of our chats at home.
And so, not being health buffs and the sporty type, Alvin and I decided to make some investments for our health. AFter all, health is wealth.
Not having any sport at the moment, we decided to buy these things, to allow us to still have some exercise at the comforts of our home and hopefully become healthier for our kids. Thankfully, these items were on sale :D
a stationary bike
a weighing scale with body analysis
Makes sense, right?
It was what my father-in-law told us during one of our chats at home.
And so, not being health buffs and the sporty type, Alvin and I decided to make some investments for our health. AFter all, health is wealth.
Not having any sport at the moment, we decided to buy these things, to allow us to still have some exercise at the comforts of our home and hopefully become healthier for our kids. Thankfully, these items were on sale :D
a stationary bike
a weighing scale with body analysis
Friday, January 7, 2011
Becoming Independent and Mature
In two weeks' time my in-laws will be flying back to Manila, after almost 6 months of stay here with us. It's the start for me.
A couple of days ago I had a practice on how it is to be left alone at home with my two kids. I briefly shared my story on my previous blog. Now in the next two weeks, I am actually preparing not only myself but my son as well, as I know his cooperation will really make things easier for the three of us, once his Lolo and Lola goes home to Manila.
I remember whining a couple of weeks ago -- wishing helpers or yayas are also available here in Sydney, a friend of mine told me "don't fret, in a few year's time, makikita mo rin ang bunga ng ikaw mismo ang nag-alaga sa mga anak mo. (IFP)"
Well lucky me, I thank the Lord that I didn't have to wait for "years" to see the fruits of that. The last two days I was with Liam, I was able to observe that he has been acting more independently and maturely. In the morning, we already practice our routine before he goes to pre-school without much difficulty. He wakes up at 7, eats breakfast, drinks his vitamins and then takes a bath with me. I give him a shower first, but after giving him his shower and it's my turn to take a bath, I tell him to do his usual routine, all by himself -- putting on lotion, brushing his teeth, fixing his hair (using his dad's gel!) and dressing up by himself without any assitance from me (from undies to his undershirt*, to his pants and to his shirt). By the way he also knows how to undress himself already. I am a proud mama.
Then after lunch, he knows that after eating lunch, it's time to take a nap. I don't have to remind him about this, he knows it already and it has become automatic for him to call his Lolo and Lola to their "spaceship" (their room) to have his afternoon nap.
Yesterday and today I went out to do some errands at home and to visit the doctor. We've been out walking for almost 2-3 hours and not once did he ask me to carry him. He patiently tried his best to walk with me, not having any tantrums at all. No crying spells. When I ask him if he's alright, he'll tell me calmly, "Mama, I'm tired" or the other time "Mama, I'm thirsty, I need something to drink." I am a proud mama.
At home, he has established the rules already that after 10am and 4pm, he can't eat or drink fancy foods anymore as he knows eating after those times might make him full and by lunch or dinner time and can't eat as much anymore. And everytime he drinks juice or chocolates or anything that is sweet, he knows that he has to drink water after. Not drinking water after taking in sweets might make him sick and if he does get sick, he knows he has to drink medicine -- which he dreads doing.
Everytime he wants to try out something, he still asks permission from me. If I say no, he follows (on times that he really wants something, I still have to do some explaining). I am thankful.
Of course, there are days when he is being a kid, but it's more of the exemption than the rule. Sometimes, he still acts childishly especially at the presence of his Papa, Lolo and Lola. But when it's just me and him (and his sister)...he is so independent and mature. I am thankful that God has entrusted him to us. I am thankful that I was given the chance to really see these milestones myself. I am thankful for giving me the chance to hone him to be the person that hopefully God wants him to be. Mahirap? Oo naman! Pero kung ganito naman ang kapalit ng pagpapalaki ng mga anak ng walang katulong o yaya, sige ok lang! Sabi nga ni Manny Paquiao, "bring it on!"
A couple of days ago I had a practice on how it is to be left alone at home with my two kids. I briefly shared my story on my previous blog. Now in the next two weeks, I am actually preparing not only myself but my son as well, as I know his cooperation will really make things easier for the three of us, once his Lolo and Lola goes home to Manila.
I remember whining a couple of weeks ago -- wishing helpers or yayas are also available here in Sydney, a friend of mine told me "don't fret, in a few year's time, makikita mo rin ang bunga ng ikaw mismo ang nag-alaga sa mga anak mo. (IFP)"
Well lucky me, I thank the Lord that I didn't have to wait for "years" to see the fruits of that. The last two days I was with Liam, I was able to observe that he has been acting more independently and maturely. In the morning, we already practice our routine before he goes to pre-school without much difficulty. He wakes up at 7, eats breakfast, drinks his vitamins and then takes a bath with me. I give him a shower first, but after giving him his shower and it's my turn to take a bath, I tell him to do his usual routine, all by himself -- putting on lotion, brushing his teeth, fixing his hair (using his dad's gel!) and dressing up by himself without any assitance from me (from undies to his undershirt*, to his pants and to his shirt). By the way he also knows how to undress himself already. I am a proud mama.
Then after lunch, he knows that after eating lunch, it's time to take a nap. I don't have to remind him about this, he knows it already and it has become automatic for him to call his Lolo and Lola to their "spaceship" (their room) to have his afternoon nap.
Yesterday and today I went out to do some errands at home and to visit the doctor. We've been out walking for almost 2-3 hours and not once did he ask me to carry him. He patiently tried his best to walk with me, not having any tantrums at all. No crying spells. When I ask him if he's alright, he'll tell me calmly, "Mama, I'm tired" or the other time "Mama, I'm thirsty, I need something to drink." I am a proud mama.
At home, he has established the rules already that after 10am and 4pm, he can't eat or drink fancy foods anymore as he knows eating after those times might make him full and by lunch or dinner time and can't eat as much anymore. And everytime he drinks juice or chocolates or anything that is sweet, he knows that he has to drink water after. Not drinking water after taking in sweets might make him sick and if he does get sick, he knows he has to drink medicine -- which he dreads doing.
Everytime he wants to try out something, he still asks permission from me. If I say no, he follows (on times that he really wants something, I still have to do some explaining). I am thankful.
Of course, there are days when he is being a kid, but it's more of the exemption than the rule. Sometimes, he still acts childishly especially at the presence of his Papa, Lolo and Lola. But when it's just me and him (and his sister)...he is so independent and mature. I am thankful that God has entrusted him to us. I am thankful that I was given the chance to really see these milestones myself. I am thankful for giving me the chance to hone him to be the person that hopefully God wants him to be. Mahirap? Oo naman! Pero kung ganito naman ang kapalit ng pagpapalaki ng mga anak ng walang katulong o yaya, sige ok lang! Sabi nga ni Manny Paquiao, "bring it on!"
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